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Love's Healing Balm

By Jenna Hendricks

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“No.” Dakota shook her head. Her long brown hair twisted around her face, covering most of it from the social worker in front of her.
“Why not? Everyone who’s gone there has loved it. In fact, they have a couple of veterans who are graduating and moving back into the real world with jobs.” Jacinta Jones ran a hand through her black hair. Dakota was the second patient that she had placed at the Crooked Arrow Ranch for wounded veterans. Sam Marley had been the first, and he’d done exceptionally well. In fact, he was almost ready to leave the ranch now that he had a service dog and a job. It didn’t hurt that he also was seriously dating his boss and dog trainer, Nelly Wilson.
Crooked Arrow Ranch had seen some of the worst cases of PTSD there were, and they were doing exceptional work to rehabilitate the wounded veterans. Jacinta had seen how well the rehabilitated soldiers could function. She was surprised when she discovered that most of them even volunteered to help with local events. She shouldn’t have been, though. It had been her experience that veterans were quite civic minded.
“What if I went with you? Introduced you to everyone?” While Jacinta had been to the Crooked Arrow Ranch before, it had been over a year. She would enjoy visiting the friendly people of Frenchtown, Montana again. And checking in personally with Sam.
“I don’t want to live in a group home. I want to go be with my family.” That was the most Dakota Monahan had said in one breath since she’d arrived at the California Veterans Administration hospital six months ago.
Jacinta knew that Dakota was shy and that she was having a tough time with all of the people around her. Which was why the ranch would be the perfect solution. If she could get through to the young woman, Jacinta knew that the twenty-four-year-old would love it in Montana.
“I’m sorry, but you aren’t ready to take care of yourself yet. Give the good people at the Crooked Arrow Ranch a chance. It’s a small group located outside a small town. The people there are lovely.” She wanted to say more, but HIPAA laws didn’t allow for Jacinta to talk about the other patients there. Although, she could say what they specialized in. “This ranch has a wonderful track record with patients who suffer from depression and PTSD.”
“I don’t have PTSD.” Dakota wrung her hands in her lap and refused to look at Jacinta. This was so confusing to her. When the Army discharged her, they told her that she had to go to the facility in Los Angeles. She didn’t realize at that time that she could have said no. But now that she was out of the Army, she knew this transfer wasn’t an order she had to blindly follow like when she was active duty. No, she was a civilian now. Granted, she was dependent on the VA to help her, but she still had choices. And heading out to some far-flung ranch in the middle of nowhere wasn’t what she wanted to do. Even if it was a small home, she would still be with strangers. And who knew if they would be nice to her or not. So far, her experience in the VA hadn’t gone well.
Jacinta tilted her head and watched her young charge. “Tell you what. I’ll go with you, and if there are any problems at all, I’ll bring you back here.”
Dakota shook her head. “I want to go home.”
The social worker took a seat next to Dakota and took her hands in hers. “Dakota, you know you can’t. Your mother works long hours and there will be no one at home with you most of the time. You aren’t ready to be alone all day long. Not yet.”
Red eyes met Jacinta. “Why can’t I get a care worker to come to my mom’s home when she’s at work?” Dakota began scratching her arm. She had at least moved away from cutting herself. But the scratching was still a sign that the medication she took wasn’t working.
“Do you trust me?” Jacinta’s dark eyes looked right into Dakota’s brown eyes.
Normally, the young woman had flecks of gold and green in her hazel brown eyes that stood out. But today, there wasn’t any sparkle or sign of contentment. No, Dakota was afraid. Jacinta could see it.
With shoulders hunched forward, Dakota turned her face away from the one woman she had felt safe with since arriving. At the beginning of her stay, the doctors wanted to keep Dakota locked up in a padded room and one even went so far as to suggest she wear a straitjacket. Another said Dakota should be kept sedated so as not to harm herself.
None of that was what Dakota needed. She knew it, but they wouldn’t listen to her pleas. When she started screaming, a beautiful and tall woman with skin the color of the night entered the room and demanded to know what they were doing to make her scream so loudly. With her long hair and long flowing skirts, Jacinta had looked like an Amazonian warrior bent on destroying anyone who would hurt Dakota. In that moment, Dakota knew she had a protector.
It took some time, but eventually Jacinta had worked with the right doctor to get her medication that helped to calm her fears. The nightmares had almost gone away, and she rarely wanted to cut herself anymore. The scratching was still a problem, but at least they kept her nails so short she couldn’t break skin. The only reason she continued to scratch so badly was because of the crawling sensation that wouldn’t leave her alone, no matter what they tried.
In one group session, it had gotten so bad that Dakota curled up in a ball and cried while trying to get the sensation of crawling worms out of her arms. Jacinta spoke to her doctors and discovered they were overmedicating her. As they lowered her dose of anti-depressants, the crawling began to dissipate. While it still happened whenever she was overly nervous, it didn’t happen enough to warrant lowering her dose anymore.
“Will you stay with me?” A tiny voice, similar to a child, barely made its way to Jacinta’s ears.
“I will.”
After a long moment, Dakota nodded.

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