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9th Grade with My Expanding Experiences, My Rollercoaster Relationships, & Me

By Kelsey Gallant

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August 30
Woo hoo! Best end-of-the-summer party ever! My entire family went to Hampton Beach today, and met my friends’ families there. I rode in the van with Carolina, Mirisen, Harrisson, Mom, and Pete. Everyone else— Dad, Aunt Brenda, Uncle Joe, and baby Zachary—rode in Uncle Joe’s car.
We got to the beach around 8am. The adults set up some towels and a beach tent, and placed Zachary in his covered carseat under the beach tent. Since he’s only 22 days old, Aunt Brenda originally considered keeping him at home. But they decided that as long as they kept him out of the direct sunlight, and brought him into an air-conditioned vehicle if it started getting too hot, he would be fine.
Mom and Aunt Brenda relaxed on the beach next to Zachary, and Dad and Uncle Joe went with us kids—well, me, Harrisson, Mirisen, and Carolina—to check out the water. Pete stood around awkwardly, unsure of what to do, until I yelled out, “Come on, Pete! Join us!” and he ran to join us.
The water was freezing cold—not what you might expect on a 90-degree day in August. But, well, this is New Hampshire we’re talking about.
Mirisen, Harrisson, Carolina and I waded out further and further into the water, getting used to it. It actually wasn’t too bad once I’d been in it for a while. Once my legs were numb.
Finally, I spotted my friend Jack, standing in the water about a football field away. I called his name and he splashed his way over. “Hey!” he exclaimed. “Good to see you! How’s your summer been?”
“Good,” I told him. Following him were our friend Stivre and Jack’s ten-year-old sister, Leah. We all talked for a little bit, and then Leah and Harrisson went back onto the beach to build sand castles, and Mirisen and Carolina waded out further into the water and started jumping waves. I stood and talked with Jack and Stivre until we noticed our friend Kim bodysurfing with her older brother, Rob, a short distance away. We went and joined them, then went on a search for our remaining friend, Shevea. We finally found her and her family situated way on the other end of the beach, and persuaded them to move closer to where the rest of us were.
“You guys are going to find this weird,” said Shevea as we headed back toward the water after helping her family relocate. “But this is the first time I’ve ever been to the beach!”
“Really?” exclaimed Stivre, surprised. “Like, in your life?”
Shevea nodded. “Yep. Um… there aren’t… sharks in the water, are there?”
Kim and I exchanged smiles. So typical Shevea, the worrier.
“No sharks,” said Jack. “Maybe a jellyfish or two, though… just kidding!”
“No jellyfish here,” Kim assured Shevea. “Although Rob and I did get stung once when we were vacationing in Florida.”
Shevea’s face paled. “You guys got stung?”
Rob laughed. “You’re freaking out your friend here. Yeah, we did get stung, but that was in Florida. Like four years ago. Jellies don’t like coming up here; the water’s too cold.”
Shevea still looked concerned, but I patted her on the shoulder. “Really, Shevea, you won’t get stung here. I don’t think there’ve ever been jellyfish this far up the coast.”
We reached the ocean and Jack, Stivre, Kim, Rob and I all charged in. Shevea hung back nervously until Kim grabbed her arm and dragged her along to where the rest of us were. It took Shevea a couple minutes to get adjusted to the temperature of the water, but pretty soon we were all jumping around and splashing and having a great time.
We spent the rest of the day in the water and on the beach. Harrisson and Leah built some amazing sand castles, one of which was so big that Shevea’s little half-siblings were able to sit in it. Then the rest of us got to work building sand castles, trying to outdo each other, but Harrisson’s and Leah’s were by far the best.
We got some pictures of all of us kids on the beach, and then my friends and I went back into the water. Kim and Rob taught us all how to bodysurf, and we were having so much fun I never wanted the day to end.
(And P.S.—nobody got stung by jellyfish!)

August 31
Waaaaah. This morning, Aunt Brenda, Uncle Joe, Carolina, and Zachary left. They’re going back to their house in Pennsylvania now, which is all fixed up from the flood that destroyed it back in June. I can’t believe it’s been nearly three months since they came to live with us! I’m really going to miss them. Carolina became like an extra sister! It’ll be so weird going back to just Mirisen, Harrisson and me. Even Carolina’s family’s gerbils, Mitzy and Cocoa, became members of our family. Of course, once they leave, we’ll still have our gerbils, Gretchen and Squeaky; our dog, Surprise; and our three cats, Sniffer, Leelee, and Tuxio, but still. Things are going to feel so weird. They already do.

September 1
Well, I’m glad today is Labor Day, because we at least got to do something fun to take our minds off of Carolina and everybody leaving. We went to a neighborhood cookout! We hung out with our friends, played a bunch of games, and ate some really yummy food.
I can’t believe I’m starting high school in just two days. That’s crazy! It won’t be a big adjustment or anything, because I’ll be going to the same school I’ve attended since sixth grade— Learner’s Academy, where Kim, Shevea, Jack, and Stivre also go. At Learner’s Academy, there isn’t much of a difference between middle school and high school, except that in high school, lunch is 95 minutes later (hopefully I won’t get too hungry), and there are more opportunities for classes. So it won’t be a super big change, but still… it’s high school! That makes me feel so old!

September 3
And… my first day of high school. Yippee! Mom was shaking her head in mock disbelief as we all got in the van for her to take us to school. “I can’t believe you girls are in high school already,” she said, referring to Miri and me. “And Harrisson, fourth grade… wow.”
She dropped Harrisson off at the elementary school entrance (our school goes from pre-K through 12th grade, but the elementary school section is called “Learner’s Cove” and has its own separate wing of the building), then brought me over to the middle/high school entrance. “Have a great first day,” she said, giving me a hug.
“You too,” I said. “And you, Miri. Don’t work too hard!” Like last year and the year before, Mirisen’s being homeschooled because she’s eleven and in ninth grade. Not to mention the fact that she’s still the height of a typical eight-year-old.
I looked around for my friends when I got into school, but I didn’t see any of them. So I picked up my schedule and headed to my first class, which was Algebra 1. And… yay! Jack is in that class! Our teacher is Mr. Louis, who seems decent.
My other classes this semester are World Studies, Physical Science, and Computers. All the teachers seem okay, and I have friends in each of my classes! Shevea in World Studies, Kim and Stivre in Physical Science, and ALL FOUR OF MY BEST FRIENDS IN COMPUTERS!!!! Yay!!!!!!
I think I like ninth grade so far.

September 5
Last night’s dinner conversation revolved around Harrisson getting a new bedroom. Since we moved into this house, he and Mirisen have always shared a room, and I’ve had my own room, and Pete has had his own room. When Carolina and her family came to stay with us, Pete moved downstairs to a room Dad fixed up in the basement so that Aunt Brenda and Uncle Joe could have his upstairs room.
I guess Pete decided he liked his basement room, because tonight Dad said that Pete’s old room is going to become Harrisson’s room. Mirisen jumped out of her seat and hugged Dad. “Thank you thank you thank you!” she exclaimed. “I finally get to have my own room! Thank goodness!”
Harrisson did not seem so excited. “Why do I have to have my own room?” he asked. “I don’t mind sharing with Miri.”
Mirisen gave him a look. “You get to have your own room because Mom and Dad are the nicest parents ever. Thank you so much, Mom and Dad.”
Harrisson still looked concerned. And then today, he tried to convince me that I should let him share my room. It didn’t work.

September 8
My friends and I have a special lunch table that we always eat at. Kim and Shevea and I started sitting there back in seventh grade, and Jack and Stivre joined us in eighth grade, and we kept the table all the way through the year. We weren’t sure if we’d get it this year, since it’s a whole different lunch period (now between third and fourth period instead of second and third) with a whole different set of kids. But guess what! On the first day of school, we claimed it, and we’ve been sitting there ever since.
Until today. We all met up with each other on the way into the cafeteria, and headed to our normal table. But there was already someone sitting at it.
It was a girl I didn’t know, with long, somewhat scraggly dirty-blonde hair. She was wearing a white T-shirt and a floor-length blue skirt. As we got closer, I noticed that she was wearing purple glasses, and that she was not smiling.
“Who’s that? I’ve never seen her before,” said Stivre.
“I think she’s in one of my classes,” said Jack, “But I don’t remember which one. She’s really quiet.”
“I’m pretty sure I recognize her from science,” said Shevea. “I think.”
“Well, come on!” exclaimed Kim, already bounding ahead of us. “Let’s go say hello!”
We all headed over to the table, and Kim sat down right across from the girl, who seemed to tense up. “Hey,” said Kim, smiling. “I’m Kim, and these are my friends Allisen, Shevea, Stivre, and Jack. What’s your name?”
The girl looked… terrified. Which is weird, since Kim is one of the least terrifying people I know.
Jack snapped his fingers. “Ella! That’s your name, right? You’re in my economics class.”
The girl’s eyes darted around as if she was looking for an escape. Finally, she whispered, “Ellie.”
“Ellie! Right. And it is economics we have together, right?”
Ellie didn’t say or do anything.
My friends and I looked at each other, trying to decide what to do. Finally, I slid in next to Kim. “We usually sit at this table, so do you mind—” I started, but before I could even finish my sentence, Ellie stood up and started gathering her stuff. “Wait!” I exclaimed. “I didn’t mean you have to leave! I was going to ask if it’s okay if we sit here with you. If not, we’ll find somewhere else to sit. It’s no big deal.”
Slowly, Ellie sat back down.
“So… is it okay if we sit with you?” Kim asked.
Ellie nodded.
Shevea, Jack, and Stivre all sat down as well, and we started talking like usual. A few times Kim tried to get Ellie involved in the conversation, but Ellie never said a word. The moment the bell rang for the end of lunch, Ellie shot up from the table and bolted into the crowd.
“Wow,” said Stivre sarcastically. “What a nice person.”
“Hey, lay off her!” exclaimed Shevea, a little angrily. We all turned to look at her, surprised.
“Well, what if she’s shy?” Shevea continued. “She’s probably just shy, and couldn’t think of anything to say, and all the sudden these five kids she doesn’t know come over to her table, and she’s probably feeling kind of awkward, because we all obviously know each other but she doesn’t know any of us…”
“Naw,” Stivre made a face. “I think she’s just plain old unfriendly.”
“Well, you don’t know what it’s like, do you?” Shevea retorted. “You’re not shy. You don’t have a problem talking to people you don’t know. I know what it’s like. I’ve… been in her position before.”
Stivre rolled his eyes. “Come on. How hard is it to talk to people? We were asking all the questions, all she had to do was answer them!”
“Just because something’s easy for you doesn’t mean it’s easy for everyone,” snapped Shevea.
It was perhaps unfortunate that the next class we had was Computers, with all five of us. But Shevea and Stivre made sure to sit on the complete opposite sides of the row, with Jack, Kim and me in the middle. They ignored each other for the entire period.

September 9
“Ellie Ramsey stutters.” Those were the first words Shevea said to me when we met each other for World Studies this morning.
And the first word I said to her was, “Huh?”
“Ellie Ramsey—the girl we sat with at lunch yesterday?—she stutters. In science, our teacher asked her to read out loud from the textbook. And she refused. So the teacher had someone else read, but then she went over and talked with Ellie, and I heard Ellie stuttering. So maybe that’s why she didn’t want to talk to us. She was embarrassed.”
I shrugged. “Could be, I guess. I wonder if she’ll sit with us again today.”
We met Kim, Jack, and Stivre for lunch, and Shevea explained to them what she’d found out about Ellie. Then we looked to see if she was at our usual table, but she wasn’t.
“She’s over there,” Kim said finally, pointing toward a seat by the window. “Let’s go talk to her.”
We made our way over to where Ellie was sitting, Kim leading the way. “Hi Ellie!” she said cheerfully when we got close enough for Ellie to hear us.
Ellie looked up, then turned back to her sandwich without the slightest inclination that she recognized us.
“Isn’t that just the nicest person ever?” muttered Stivre sarcastically.
Shevea glared at him, then went and stood across from Ellie. “Hey Ellie. Do you mind if we sit with you again?”
Stonily, Ellie shrugged and continued eating. We all sat down around her.
“So…” said Shevea, when nobody started talking. “Is this your first year at this school, Ellie?”
Ellie nodded.
“Where did you go before this?” asked Kim.
Ellie stopped chewing, hesitated for a moment, and then said very deliberately, “Homeschool.”
“Oh, hey, my sister’s homeschooled!” I exclaimed. “She loves it. I was homeschooled too, when I was really little.”
“So is this your first time ever going to, like, an actual school-school?” Kim asked Ellie. Ellie shook her head.
“Why aren’t you homeschooled anymore?” asked Jack. “Were you just ready for a change, or did you want to get involved in more activities, or did your parents not feel comfortable teaching you all the high school stuff, or—”
He broke off, because Ellie stuffed her last piece of sandwich in her mouth, shoved her potato chips and brownie into her lunch bag, and got up.
“Wait!” exclaimed Kim. “No, don’t leave! We’re just trying to get to know you!”
Ellie didn’t answer. She just kept walking away.
“We know you stutter!” Kim called after her. “And that’s totally fine! We really don’t care! We’re just trying to be friends with you!”
Ellie still didn’t look back.
Stivre turned to Shevea. “Still think she’s a nice person?”
“Yes, I do,” said Shevea fiercely. “And you will too, once she comes out of her shell. You’ll see.”
I’d like to believe Shevea. I really would. But… I’m sort of starting to believe Stivre on this one.

September 10
We looked for Ellie in the lunchroom again today, and couldn’t find her. I hope we haven’t scared her off. Shevea said she was in science class today. Is she avoiding us?

September 11
September 11. What more can I say? The whole school had a special assembly, commemorating the people who died in the terrorist attacks seven years ago. Kim got to sing in the assembly—“God Bless the USA.” Some other students sang too, and we had some time to sit and pray and reflect.
At lunch, once again, we couldn’t find Ellie. Jack said he saw her in Economics earlier.

September 14
On Friday, no Ellie, but Jack and Shevea said they saw her in class. So that leads me to believe that she is avoiding us. Whatever. I don’t even know why we’re trying so hard to be friends with her, to be honest. She clearly has no interest in being friends with us. But Shevea still believes in her, so… I guess we’ll keep trying.
Anyway, last night was fun. Harrisson’s been sleeping in his own room for a couple nights now, and he’s finally starting to get used to it. His friend Sam came for a sleepover, and after dinner, the two boys made chocolate chip cookies. I came in and helped (or at least, helped them eat the dough!). When Mirisen came in and saw us eating the raw dough, she gasped. “Does that dough have eggs in it? You guys shouldn’t be eating it! Raw eggs can carry salmonella!”
“It’s only two eggs in the whole thing,” I told her. “And have you ever actually known anyone who got sick by eating raw dough?”
“There’s always a first,” said Mirisen prissily. But two minutes later, she grabbed a little bit of the dough and popped it in her mouth.
“Um, guys?” I said a couple moments later as I scraped the remaining dough into twelve measly cookies. “The recipe says this yields four dozen total. We’ve only made one dozen, and they’re tiny.”
“So? Let’s just make more!” suggested Sam.
“Not another whole recipe,” I said quickly, thinking about how much flour and sugar and butter that would take. “How about a half recipe? Or a quarter?”
“Two-fifths!” exclaimed Harrisson. “That way I can practice fractions!”
So we made two-fifths of a recipe, and of course ate some of it, and then Harrisson and Sam left to watch a movie, claiming they were sick. Mirisen and I finished, and by the time we’d baked all the cookies, cleaned up, and eaten some more raw dough and fresh cookies, we felt a little sick too.

September 16
Well! No Ellie at lunch. BUT Shevea talked to her in science today! She told us that at lunch, and Stivre said, “What, was it a one-sided conversation?”
“No, it wasn’t,” said Shevea, flashing Stivre a disgusted look. “Ellie and I both learned a lot about each other. Ellie told me that she’s been homeschooled since fourth grade, and that she went to public school in Merrimack before that. She lives in Merrimack, and she has three older brothers, two cats, two dogs, and a tank of fish. Her birthday is in January, she likes country music, she plays the piano, and she loves to run.”
We all looked at Shevea with surprise. “Ellie actually told you all this?” asked Jack.
Shevea nodded. “She’s really nice once you get to know her. I told you guys.”
“Well, tell her to start sitting with us at lunch again! We want to get to know her too!” exclaimed Kim.

September 17
Ellie sat with us today! She mainly talked just with Shevea, while Stivre texted his girlfriend, and Jack, Kim and I talked about random stuff. But I kept one ear on Shevea and Ellie’s conversation the whole time, and I was really surprised at how easily they talked with each other. I mean, Shevea’s fine talking just with us, but she isn’t a socialite or anything. And Ellie… well, I’d never really heard her talk at all before, aside from a couple words here and there. But she and Shevea kept up a steady conversation about pets, classes, and favorite books throughout the whole lunch period.
When lunch was over, Ellie left to go to her French class, and the rest of us went to Computers. “See?” Shevea said to Stivre on the way. “In case you didn’t notice, Ellie and I spent all lunch talking to each other. She’s perfectly friendly and social once she feels comfortable talking to you.” Shevea turned to me. “It’s so weird. Usually I’m the one who’s shy and quiet, and whoever’s talking to me is initiating the conversation and asking the questions and stuff. But with Ellie, I’m the one who’s starting conversations, because… I kind of have to. You know what I mean? ‘Cause I know what it’s like to be in her position, and I know she feels awkward not saying anything, but she can’t think of anything to say… it’s like watching me a couple years ago. It’s interesting.”
“It is interesting,” I agreed. “People are interesting. I now believe you, by the way. That she’s a nice person and could become friends with us.”

September 22
Okay. Well. I thought everything was going well. Ellie ate lunch with us on Friday, and again today, and today she was even somewhat part of our conversation. “What did everyone do over the weekend?” Jack asked.
“I skateboarded,” said Stivre.
“I played Barbies, Polly Pocket, and stuffed animals with my little sister,” laughed Kim.
“I d-did homework,” said Ellie.
“Me too,” said Shevea, wrinkling her nose.
“I did the one-legged hop with my brother,” I volunteered.
“And what in the world is the one-legged hop?” Jack asked.
“It’s a game Harrisson invented. It’s kind of like tag except everyone hops on one leg. When you tag someone, you switch to your other leg and the person you tagged is it. Pretty tiring, but sort of fun.”
At that moment, Ellie just got up and walked away. Voom. Without a word. The rest of us stared at each other. “Um… was I too boring for her?” I asked.
Shevea looked befuddled. “I’m going to follow her,” she decided.
We all watched as Shevea followed Ellie through the cafeteria, finally catching up to her at the doors… and then going through the doors. Shevea didn’t come back for the rest of lunch.
She met up with the rest of us for Computers. “Where did you and Ellie go?” Kim asked.
“To the library,” Shevea answered. “She wouldn’t tell me why she left, though. I asked, but she just said she was done eating and wanted to go read.”
“That so wasn’t the real reason,” said Kim.
“I know. But we have to be patient. I’m sure she had a real reason, and I’m sure we’ll find out eventually.”

September 23
WOW. Shevea was right— we would find out eventually. I found out today.
We went on a family bike ride after school. All of us— Mom, Dad, Mirisen, Harrisson, me, and even Pete. We were on a biking/walking trail, and we stopped after a little bit to catch our breath.
While we were resting, some joggers came into view— two tall teenage boys, and a shorter teenage girl. As they grew closer, I realized that the girl looked like Ellie. And as they passed us, I realized that the girl was Ellie!
“Ellie!” I exclaimed, jumping up. The two boys stopped and turned around, but Ellie kept running.
“Ellie!” one of the boys called, and she stopped. She turned around and faced me with a ferocious scowl on her face.
“Hi,” I said uncertainly.
Her expression didn’t change. She took a step closer to the boys—her brothers?—and kept glaring at me. “Yeah, s-s-s-so what if I have a p-p-prosthetic leg? It’s none of y-your b-b-b-business.”
What?
I looked down at her legs. It was the first time I’d seen her wearing anything other than a floor-length skirt. She was wearing shorts, and sure enough, her left leg wasn’t a real leg—it was a prosthetic!
“I—” I stammered. “Ellie, I— honestly, I didn’t know. And— yeah, it’s none of my business. I don’t care what kind of leg you have. I just wanted to say hi.”
“Uh-huh, yeah, sure y-you d-d-d-don’t care. W-whatever.”
“Ellie,” The taller of the two boys looked exasperated. “Relax. Not everyone in the world is against you. Geez.” He turned to me. “Learner’s Academy?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Ellie eats lunch with my friends and me sometimes. I’m Allisen.”
“Nice to meet you, Allisen. I’m Martin, and this is Nick.” He motioned to the other guy with them. “We’re Ellie’s brothers.”
Ellie had already started running again. I bolted ahead and caught up with her. “Ellie,” I said. “Please. Just listen. Maybe you’ve— I don’t know, had some bad experiences or something in the past, but my friends and I— we really don’t care if you stutter or have a prosthetic leg or any of that stuff. We’re just trying to be friendly. I hope you know that. It’s your choice whether you want to be friends with us, and I understand if you don’t want to, it’s just— we really are nice people. We’re not going to make fun of you or bug you about your leg or anything. We just— we just want to be your friends.”
Ellie slowed down and stopped running. I did too. She stared me down, and then finally said, “Y-y-you have e-enough friends. You d-d-d-don’t ne-need me.”
“There’s no such thing as having enough friends,” I told her. “It’s always possible to make more.”
She looked at me for the longest time, then finally said, “F-fine. I’ll sit w-with you g-g-guys tomorrow.”

September 24
True to her word, Ellie did sit with us at lunch today. And the first thing she said once we were all there was, “I h-h-have a p-prosthetic leg. S-s-say whatever y-you want. I d-d-don’t care.”
Stivre, Jack, Kim, and Shevea all just looked at each other, then at Ellie. “Wow,” Jack said finally. “I never would have guessed. It—I mean, you walk just like anyone else.”
“I’ve h-had it s-s-since I w-was six,” said Ellie. “I d-don’t like t-talking about it.”
“That’s fine,” said Kim. “Let’s talk about something else. Did anyone see the new Narnia movie over the summer? It was amazing.”
We all started talking about movies, and Ellie seemed surprised. And happy. And more relaxed than I had ever seen her.

September 28
My birthday! I am fourteen years old. Wow. 1.4 decades. .14 of a century. 168 months. Fourteen! I had a nice small family party today, with a Dairy Queen ice cream cake and some presents at home (a sweatshirt, a pair of cute earrings, two books, some boots, and some fuzzy socks). Mom and I also made brownies for me to share with my friends tomorrow.
And guess what! I don’t even have to wonder whether Ellie will be sitting with us tomorrow, because I’m almost positive she will!

September 29
I brought the brownies to school and gave them out at lunchtime. Ellie at first didn’t take one, but Jack said, “It is her birthday and she orders you to take one! Just kidding. But they’re really good.”
Ellie looked surprised. “Oh, it’s y-y-your b-birth-day? H-h-happy birthday.” She took a brownie and bit into it. “Mmm, th-this is g-g-good. D-did you make them?”
“My mom and I did.”
Ellie’s gaze fell to the table, and her eyes filled up with tears. I immediately felt bad, although I didn’t know what I’d said or done that had made her sad. “What’s wrong, Ellie?” I asked.
Ellie started to get up, but then she hesitated, and looked around at all of us through her wet eyes. All five of us—even Stivre—were looking at her concernedly.
Slowly, Ellie sat back down. “It— it’s my m-m-mom,” she said, her voice shaking. “She h-h-has l-leukem-m-mia. Th-that’s wh-why I’m n-n-n-not h-homeschooled anym-m-more.”
I thought back to that time a couple weeks ago, the first time she just got up and left our table. It was right after Jack had asked why she wasn’t homeschooled anymore, wasn’t it? I cringed inwardly. We’d all been asking questions like that.
“Oh Ellie,” said Shevea sympathetically, putting her hand on Ellie’s arm. “I’m so sorry. I’ll pray for her. Every day.”
“I will too,” I said. “And I’m sorry we were asking you questions about why you stopped being homeschooled… it must have made you think of that.”
Ellie nodded, wiping her eyes. “It’s o-o-okay. I think about it l-like all the t-t-time, e-except when I’m r-r-r-running.”
“When you’re running?” exclaimed Stivre incredulously. “But you’re— I mean, you have a fake leg, right? You can run?”
Ellie nodded defensively.
“No, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you can’t or anything. I just— that’s amazing. That’s really cool.” Stivre was looking at Ellie with admiration.
Ellie looked at him suspiciously for a moment, then gave him a tiny smile.
I’ve been thinking about Ellie since we got out of lunch today. I think she trusts us now— more than she used to, anyway. And I understand now why she was so touchy about certain topics. I’ll be careful about mentioning those topics in the future.
But I think that, over time, Ellie will come to trust us more and more, and eventually, she’ll be another one of my closest friends, along with Kim, Shevea, Jack, and Stivre. I just have that feeling.

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