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New Chance

By Kelsey Gallant

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Lauren Bradka stared at the news clipping and sighed, having just re-read it for what felt like the hundredth time. It shouldn’t have come as such a surprise. She should’ve guessed it would happen sooner or later. It shouldn’t be bothering her so much.
But it was.
Lauren smoothed out the clipping and stared at the tiny, black-and-white photo of a man and woman, smiling and clearly in love. The woman’s dark hair was swept up in what looked like a spur-of-the-moment bun. Her face, though young in years, was prematurely lined— but stretched to beaming. She wasn’t bad-looking, though the one time Lauren had met her, it had been hard to understand what he saw in her. At the time, her facial expressions had ranged from blatant dislike to the phoniest smile Lauren had ever seen. In this picture, the woman had a real smile. A difference in the eyes, too, Lauren could tell, only because she’d spent so many hours poring over the clipping.
Lauren’s gaze traveled to the man’s face. He was harder to look at, so she only gave him a quick once-over. Dark hair, slightly longer than it had been the last time she’d seen him in person. Kind, warm eyes that had once made her melt. An enormous, beaming smile to match the woman’s.
The clipping was from the section of the paper marked Engagements. Above the picture were the couple’s names: Steven Jenkins and Georgia Matthews.
Lauren steeled herself and, like a moth drawn to a bonfire, read the article again:
Steven Jenkins, 40, of Newton, and Georgia Matthews, 42, of Chesterwood, are pleased to announce their engagement as of August 13. Jenkins, a widower, is the pastor of Newton Community Church and the father to an 11-year-old son, Benjamin. Matthews, also widowed, is a software consultant at ByteCorp, mother to a 19-year-old daughter, Aleah, and grandmother to Austin, 3, and Anna, 2. A June 6 wedding is planned.
Lauren pushed the clipping away, irritated at the pain it was causing. It shouldn’t matter that Steve was getting married. Even if he stayed single all his life, he would never be attracted to her. He had made that clear. Once, they’d spent a magical evening together, singing in the car, holding deep conversations, watching a beautiful production of Fiddler on the Roof, and sharing two kisses in Lauren’s driveway. Steve had told her that he’d had a wonderful time that night.
But he still hadn’t been able to fall for her.
And that was hard for Lauren to take, because she’d fallen for him years ago. The day she’d moved into the house next door to his, he and four-year-old Ben had come over to introduce themselves. Watching their interactions, Lauren had thought, 'This is the kind of man I want as a husband someday.'
When she’d found out a few months later that he was a widow, there’d been no stopping the fantasies. Steve was good-natured, a wonderful father, easygoing and fun. And a Christian! Lauren had dated several guys before, but none of the relationships had ever lasted. They hadn’t understood why she never wanted to get drunk at the downtown bar, they’d been hurt when she refused to sleep with them, they’d gotten uncomfortable when she talked about Jesus. But Steve wouldn’t be like that.
Lauren had always believed that God had a special plan for her and Steve. For them to eventually fall in love and get married, and be a family together with Ben and whatever other children they were blessed with.
It hadn’t happened that way. It would never happen that way. Steve was getting married to someone else. Someone he loved in a way he had never been able to love Lauren.
"God…" Lauren prayed, burying her head in her arms. "I miss him. I miss his kindness, his smile, his laugh. I miss his companionship, the talks we used to have. I miss seeing him interact with Ben." The face of Steve’s son swam in her mind, tousle-haired and joyful, and she felt another wave of longing. "I miss Ben. I loved playing outside with him, building things with Legos and K’Nex, listening to him talk. I loved babysitting him, when I’d make dinner and we’d read together and I’d tuck him into bed." Those moments, though few, had been some of the most precious of all. Secretly, Lauren had pretended that Ben was her own son.
Lauren wanted kids more than anything, and she knew she would be a good mom. But the clock was ticking. She was already thirty-five. How old would she be by the time she actually met the right man, got married, and became pregnant with her first child? Dejectedly, she continued her prayer. "I would be okay with this if I had a boyfriend. Where’s the special guy You’ve planned for me? Why haven’t I met him yet? How much longer am I going to have to wait?"
She still remembered what Steve had told her that Easter of two years ago, the day they’d had the painful discussion about his lack of romantic feelings for her. The words that had comforted her in her anguish: “God will bring the right guy along. The one who will cherish you and adore you and love you with all the love he has to give. I fully believe that. God’s plans are always better than our own.”
Steve was right. God’s plans were infinitely better than anything Lauren could come up with. Who was she to complain that He hadn’t brought the right guy into her life yet? He would bring the right guy at the right time. Whatever His reason for holding back right now, it had to be a good one.
"Okay, God," she decided. "I’ll be patient. I’ll put away the article and stop pining after Steve. I’ll stop questioning You about when I’m going to meet my guy, because I know You’ll bring him along when the time is right. I trust You, God. You have great plans for me. Help me just to be patient until I can see what those plans are.
And please, God— please bring my guy along in time for us to be able to have kids."

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