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Reluctant To Wed

By Anneliese Dalaba

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Chapter One — England, 1817


Sitting in her grandfather’s traveling coach, Emma suddenly felt the impact of her decision. She watched the unfamiliar scenery through drops of rain slowly trickling down the window like the tears on her mother’s cheeks as she waved good-bye. Was it only a little over a week ago? It seemed much longer. Emma’s heart squeezed at the memory and she grieved the distance that was placed between herself and all that was familiar to her.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t considered the consequences of her choice before embarking on this journey, but once the decision was made, she’d been swept up in a whirlwind of preparations that gave her little time for contemplation. The voyage had been exciting at first. Emma had met several people and was fascinated by their stories. Her Uncle Gus, who was her mother’s only brother, had traveled from England to accompany her on the voyage back to his homeland. He shared many stories of her mother’s childhood, things Emma had never heard before.

They encountered a storm one night, which made for a turbulent few hours and caused her to miss the safety of her home. But the sun broke through the clouds at dawn and took with it the vestige of loneliness, soon replacing it with apprehension at seeing another ship off in the distance. Everyone speculated as to who might be aboard, from pirates to prisoners to soldiers to slaves. Fortunately, the ship never came near. They finally docked in London, and Emma’s eyes darted here and there trying to take in everything there was to see. Another ship must have docked before them as Emma observed people joyfully greeting each other. She saw rough-looking sailors unloading cargo off the ship. Over all the many voices, she heard the crashing of waves and seagulls flying overhead squawking and searching for food.

Her grandfather’s traveling coach sat waiting for them at the dock, along with a horse for her uncle since he preferred riding even in drizzly rain to sitting for hours in an enclosed carriage. Emma sat alone, and she found herself facing the questions she’d pushed out of her mind for the past few days: What had she gotten herself into? Had she made the right decision? Would her grandfather be a kind man or a curmudgeon? She didn’t even want to think about her soon-to-be husband. It was just too much to take in all at once.

Even the coach she traveled in gave clear evidence to the changes her decision had wrought. Emma hadn’t known such luxury in all of her eighteen years. This was the life her father had turned his back on when he left all that was familiar to him in England and set sail for America more than twenty years ago. Forsaking his life of luxury, he chose to live in a cabin on a farm in Somerset, Pennsylvania. And now Emma, who’d been raised on that same farm, had chosen to live at Wooten House, in Fenbridge, England, the home of Baron Houlton, her grandfather, and the home where her father had grown up. Having finally completed her voyage over the Atlantic, she arrived in England that morning and, as she sat in her grandfather’s coach, she knew she would now be privileged to enjoy the wealthy lifestyle her father had left behind. Would she come to regret the choice she made?

Her father had left England as a young man after marrying the local vicar’s daughter, Mary, Emma’s mother. Unfortunately, he died, leaving behind his wife and daughter to manage on their own. That was why her mother chose to marry again soon after losing her first husband. What had started as a marriage of convenience soon became a second chance to love and be loved. This gave Emma hope for the path she had now chosen for herself.

Her mother had made certain Emma clearly understood what had precipitated her father’s departure from England. She didn’t want her daughter having unrealistic expectations of what her reunion with her grandfather might entail. Emma’s mother recalled the baron having a pleasing demeanor, but warned her he was a proud and unbending man who would not listen to reason if it was contrary to his plans. Emma understood her grandfather had clear plans laid out for her, but since she had agreed to do his bidding, she imagined he would welcome her with open arms in order to see his plans set in motion.

Now that she had convinced herself of her grandfather’s warm, if not effusive, welcome, she lay her head on the cushion of the seat. The gentle rocking of the well-sprung carriage lulled her into slumber.

When she awoke to near darkness, the sun had set and the rain had ceased. Looking out the window, Emma saw lights flickering in the distance, soon realizing they were approaching a large estate. She bit her lower lip as her heart began to beat faster. Was her grandfather watching from one of the windows of the house?
As the horses drew near, she saw the front door of the house open and a man in uniform step out. Not her grandfather, obviously. She kept looking toward the door in case he appeared to greet her. The horses came to a complete stop in front of the house, but only the man in uniform stood there waiting. The door to the coach opened and Uncle Gus held his hand out ready to assist her.

“Are you ready to get out of that trap yet?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye. Although she had only met her uncle three months prior, in Pennsylvania, he was now familiar and dear to her. She would forever be grateful that her grandfather had sent Augustus Harrison, his solicitor and her uncle, to accompany her on her journey.

She gave him her hand as she smiled. “Oh, yes, indeed, Uncle. But at least I remained dry and slept a bit. How miserable it must have been for you sitting on the back of a horse in the drizzle. You should have joined me inside the carriage.”

“I’m glad you were able to rest, my dear, but you need not concern yourself about me. Believe me when I tell you, I am much happier on the back of a horse, even in rain, than in a closed-in carriage for hours on end.” He tucked her hand in the crook of his arm. “It’s time for you to meet your grandfather. I imagine he is quite anxious to know you have arrived safely.”

Emma took a deep breath for courage and nodded her head that she was ready. Together they walked up the stairs of the grand house.

The butler greeted them and Uncle Gus introduced him as Higgins. Higgins bowed politely and asked them to follow him to her grandfather’s library where he was awaiting her arrival. Emma repeated the butler’s name a few times in her mind, not wanting to forget it. When they arrived at the door, they were announced, and Higgins held the door for them to enter.

The first thing Emma’s eyes landed on were the floor to ceiling shelves of books. She stared in wonder. She’d never seen so many books in one location, and they apparently all belonged to one man, her grandfather. Her jaw must have dropped a bit as she stood there in wide-eyed wonder. She absolutely loved reading and had read all the books at home over and over again. She couldn’t imagine having such a vast selection in her own home. Emma sighed.

She heard a man clear his throat and quickly turned her head. Oh! Had he seen her gawking at all his books? Of course he had. He must think her quite simple-minded and backward. What a terrible first impression she must have just made.

There stood an elegantly dressed, older gentleman sporting a full head of white hair with a bit of a receding hairline. He stood tall and straight in suit coat, crisp white shirt, vest, neckcloth, and pantaloons, with a gold watch on a chain in his hand. His eyes were not quite stern, but neither were they smiling. He looked her over from head to foot and Emma was afraid he didn’t like what he saw. She couldn’t blame him. She felt travel worn and knew her attire must be wrinkled. But as she looked into his eyes, they seemed to brighten a bit and he almost smiled. “I see your face is quite lovely.”

Emma didn’t know what to say. She didn’t really think he was complimenting her as much as looking her over as she often saw her stepfather do when looking over one of his farm animals. She saw him nod his head a couple of times. “Yes, with a little polish, you will do nicely.”

No warm embrace was offered. She watched as this stranger, her grandfather, walked closer. He stopped about five feet in front of Emma and looked at her intently. She felt like fidgeting, but forced herself to hold still.

“So you are my son’s daughter.”

Emma swallowed and nodded her head. “Yes, sir.”

“I hope your journey was uneventful and you didn’t suffer any ill effects?”

“I enjoyed the voyage, sir, except for the storm we encountered, but I remained in excellent health throughout. Thank you for asking.”

“Well, I’m glad you arrived safely.”

“Thank you for sending my uncle to accompany me on this trip. It was really quite thoughtful of you. And my mother enjoyed seeing her brother after all these years.”

At the mention of her uncle, her grandfather looked at the man as though he had quite forgotten his presence. He looked back at Emma, cleared his throat and huffed, “Well, now, no need to thank me. It was the right thing to do. Cannot have my granddaughter accompanied by just anyone.”

Having said that, he turned to Uncle Gus, “I appreciate how well you handled everything. We can talk further tomorrow, but right now I’d like to spend some time with my granddaughter. I’m sure you desire to return home after so many weeks away.”

Uncle Gus gave a slight nod, but looked at Emma with concern.

Was Uncle Gus reluctant to leave her alone with her grandfather? Wanting to reassure him, she walked to her uncle’s side and placed a hand on his arm as she raised her heels off the floor to place a kiss on his rough cheek. “Thank you, Uncle, for all you did for me. I cannot imagine having faired as well or enjoyed myself as much without you by my side.”

He patted her arm and smiled gently. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my dear.”

“Yes, but get some rest first,” her grandfather cut in gruffly. “I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon. That will be early enough to resume our business.” Then he walked to the door and held it open.

Emma watched as Uncle Gus walked toward the door, suddenly feeling as though her one remaining friend in the world was walking away. He looked back one more time when he reached the door, bid her and the baron goodnight, then turned and walked out.

Emma swallowed the lump in her throat. She reminded herself she had agreed to her grandfather’s plan. Now it was time to follow through with her commitment. She took a deep breath and pulled her shoulders back. Lifting her chin, she turned away from the door and looked at her grandfather who had walked back into the room shutting the door behind him. He smiled a bit haughtily and held out his hand. She placed her hand in his and he led her to a chair in front of the fireplace. “Sit here, Emma, and I will order tea and some refreshments. You must be famished after such a long trip in the carriage. We can talk while you enjoy some sustenance.”

Emma was actually quite hungry. They had stopped at an inn to change horses about four hours ago. The food had been only passably good, so she hadn’t eaten much. Wanting to avoid long travel in the dark, they had pressed on without stopping again in order to finally end their journey. Now she felt almost ravenous, but with her formidable grandfather watching her, she wasn’t sure she could swallow a bite.

Emma sat back in her chair and felt the warmth of the fireplace seep into her body. It reminded her of home and the many evenings her family sat around the fireplace after all their chores were done.

In the meantime, her grandfather walked over to the bell pull, then returned to his chair opposite her. He surprised her when he asked, “How is your mother doing?” She hadn’t expected him to mention the woman his son had loved and eloped with, turning his back on his family.

“My mother is doing well. Thank you for asking. She and papa had been concerned about losing the farm, of course, but your generous gift helped to relieve them of that burden.”

“I’m glad it helped,” was his clipped answer. Placing his elbow on the armrest of the chair and cupping his chin with his hand, he looked into the flames. For a moment he seemed far away. Perhaps wondering what could have been if he had welcomed Emma’s mother into his family instead of insisting on having everything his way. Or perhaps he was thinking how different things would have turned out if only his son had obeyed his wishes and married the woman he had chosen for him.

At that moment, the doors opened and a maid entered the room carrying a tea tray. She placed it on the table. Grandfather looked at Emma expectantly. It took Emma only a moment to realize he wanted her to serve them. “I’ll pour the tea,” she announced, and quickly stood to her feet and walked over to the tea table.

“Would you like a sandwich, too, Grandfather?”

“No, thank you. The tea will do for me.”

After pouring tea into a cup, Emma placed a cube of sugar on the saucer along with a spoon and handed it to her grandfather. He nodded his head. She returned to the table and poured tea for herself. She chose a sandwich, then walked back to her chair and sat down.

Grandfather cleared his throat and began to speak. “Emma, I want to begin setting my plans in motion, but first I will need to make a lady out of you.”

Emma almost choked on the bite she’d taken. She looked at the baron in confusion and quickly took a sip from her tea to help swallow the food. “What do you mean, Grandfather?”

“You are quite lovely, so don’t take offense, but you will now enter a very different world than you were accustomed to in the past. You no longer live on a farm out in the middle of nowhere. There are things that are expected of a lady in the peerage of England. You will need to learn how to walk, talk, and dress in a proper manner.”

Emma knew what her grandfather was saying was true, but somehow it hurt that in their brief acquaintance her grandfather had decided she didn’t quite measure up. Uncle Gus hadn’t treated her as though there was anything wrong with her appearance. He hadn’t seemed embarrassed traveling with her. On the other hand, she hadn’t been in London very long before being swept into her grandfather’s coach. Perhaps he, too, didn’t care to be seen with her in her current state of dress. Emma knew her hackles were up, and she felt defensive. She had to be fair to her uncle. They had been in a hurry to leave London, because they were expected to arrive in Fenbridge by evening.

It didn’t really matter how she felt about her grandfather’s opinion of her. She had agreed to his plan to help her parents, so she must now be willing to swallow her pride and accept the consequences.

She heard her grandfather continue, “We will start with the maid I have provided for you. Her name is Bessie and she will attend to your wardrobe. She is also well-versed in a lady’s toilet, how a lady must comport herself, and how she must dress for every occasion. She’s older than you by a few years and more experienced, but young enough that, I think, you will get along quite well together. But, Emma, although I want you to learn from her, you must remember that she is your servant and she must follow your instructions. Never confide too much to your servants unless you care to be the topic of conversation below stairs and have that information passed along to the neighboring estate.”

“Yes, Grandfather,” was her obligatory response, but her mind had wrapped itself around one fact only. She, Emma, from a small farm in Somerset, Pennsylvania, would now have her own personal maid? She couldn’t imagine needing a servant to help her with the things she’d done for herself all her life. Would her maid make her bed for her? That wouldn’t take all day. What could her maid possibly find to do to occupy her time?
Grandfather had gotten up and walked to his desk, returning with an envelope in his hand. Before he could say anything, she quickly asked, “Grandfather, what does a lady’s maid do?” At his look of confusion, she clarified. “How does she occupy herself?”

“Why, she does a number of things. She straightens your room, prepares your bath, washes your hair, chooses your clothes, helps you dress, mends your clothes, and makes certain they are clean. She styles your hair. She does countless things most ladies take for granted. When you leave the house, she will accompany you so you are chaperoned.”

“I don’t think my maid will have much to do, for I do most of those things for myself.”

Grandfather slowly shook his head back and forth, “No more, Emma. You are now a lady and you will not be able to do the things you were used to doing. I see your look of confusion, but you will see what I mean. I have hired a woman to teach you about all these things. You will learn about the peerage and how to address each person in the nobility correctly.”

He handed her the envelope he’d been holding and explained, “You will also receive a small allowance each month. You must try not to spend beyond this amount. If you need more, please come and see me, but this will hopefully suffice.”

“Grandfather, I don’t feel right receiving an allowance from you. Perhaps I can do some chores and earn the money instead.

“Earn the money? Do chores?” He chuckled disbelievingly and shook his head. “Absolutely not! That’s unheard of! My girl, you will accept this allowance and that’s the end of it. When you are married, your husband will also give you an allowance. I will make certain it is generous, and he will expect you to budget well. Although, of course, there are times you will need more and must not hesitate to ask for it.”

Emma listened intently, trying to understand what was expected of her. Apparently, doing chores was unheard of. At her grandfather’s shocked reaction, one would think she had offered to do something immoral.
Her grandfather was still talking, so she pulled her thoughts back to attend his words. “I realize you may always sound like you were born in America. There may not be much help for that, but we must help you learn the proper way of addressing people in various stations of life. You will understand better what I mean when Mrs. Stanley arrives in two days. We must teach you to behave in such a manner that no one will suspect you lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere.”

Emma couldn’t contain the words. They were out before she could stop herself. “I’m actually quite proud of my farm out in the middle of nowhere, Grandfather. It was a wonderful place to grow up, and I hope I will not be forbidden to talk about the place that is most dear to my heart.”

“Calm yourself, Emma,” her grandfather commanded. “You may still love that place if you so please, but you agreed to this plan. You accepted the money I gave your parents to save their farm and, in the process, you committed yourself to helping in the future of my estate. You must now trust me, abide by my rules, and allow me to lead you in this.”

“Are you saying I cannot tell anyone where I come from?”

“Of course that’s not what I’m saying. As soon as you open your mouth to speak, it will be quite apparent you’re not from here. However, you must not speak about it as though you wish you were still there. Everyone in the ton knows that England is a far superior country, so there is no use pining about your home as though you had left something precious behind.” He held up his hand when Emma opened her mouth to retort. “Yes, yes, your family will always be precious to you, but you don’t have to dwell on this when becoming acquainted with people in the ton. You will soon have a new wardrobe and the most illustrious entertainments to attend. And before long, you will even become a countess! How can anything you left behind even compare to that?”

Emma realized wealth and prestige meant more to her grandfather than family. She sighed sadly, “Yes, grandfather. I will do as you say.”

“Good girl!” He leaned over and patted her knee. “With that attitude, you will do quite well, my dear.”

Emma simply gave a small nod of her head. She had agreed to this plan and had even prayed about it. She felt certain this was the path she needed to take to help her parents and to help her grandfather. She would allow herself to be led by him.

They talked of her voyage and the rest of her travels as she finished her meal. As she suspected, she wasn’t able to eat much. Not because she felt nervous, but rather because she felt upset about all the changes she would have to make. It wasn’t that she was set in her ways. She actually enjoyed experiencing new things. It was just the more her grandfather belittled her past, the more her heart longed to cling to it.

Grandfather got to his feet and Emma quickly followed suit. “I’ll ring for Bessie now. She will show you to your room and provide what you need.”

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