Find a Christian store

<< Go Back

Don't Tell Anyone I Read Romance

By Annilee Nelson

Order Now!

Edmund Bennet wrapped his hand firmly around the door handle, then, drawing in a deep breath and holding it to tamp down the touch of anxiety fluttering along his nerves, he slowly and silently pulled open the door that separated the back rooms of the library from the public areas. He had always been good at spying on his older brothers – well, except for his twin since Fred had usually been spying with him.

Surely, he could find out if Ava was here without being noticed, couldn’t he?

He peeked his head out, glanced right, then left, and sighed in relief.

She wasn’t here. At least, not right here or any place that could be seen from here.

If she was at the library – and he was pretty certain she was since he thought that he had seen her car in the parking lot – she was likely where she always was, in the computer room, which was nowhere near this door. However, one could not be too cautious when attempting to keep from being noticed.

“Are you trying to avoid someone?”

Eddie jumped, and the door thumped against his shoulder. “Ow.”

“Sorry,” came from somewhere to his left.

“Josh?”

The lanky highschooler who worked part time at the library was leaning against the wall in between two bookcases to the left of the door to the back room. If it hadn’t been for his size thirteen red sneakers poking out at the bottom of the bookcase and the fact that he was just head and shoulders taller than the short shelving units, Eddie never would’ve seen him.

“Why are you standing there?” Eddie rubbed his sore shoulder.

“I was just taking a break,” Josh said with a crooked grin as he pushed his glasses up his nose. “And I didn’t feel like talking to anyone, so I picked quiet companions.” He motioned to the rows of reference books at his side. “They don’t get much company, you know.”

That was true. The internet was where people went these days to research things. Therefore, these books rarely got used, and Eddie had to admit that the kid had picked a great hiding spot.

“Is your shoulder okay?”

Even though he wanted to keep rubbing his shoulder until the stinging stopped, Edmund let his hand fall to his side. Josh tended to get fixated on things like injuries, and Eddie really wasn’t in the mood to be asked every day – at least twice per day – for the rest of the week if his shoulder hurt. “It’s just a little bruise if anything at all.”

“Sorry about that. I really didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you saw me. Do you need some ice? I could go get you an ice pack.”

“Nah, I don’t need any ice.” He just needed to get to the front desk and back without being seen by Ava and talking to Josh about a possible bruised shoulder was not going to help him accomplish that. The longer he stayed in an observable spot, the more likely it was that someone, such as Ava, would see him. He could just duck back inside the back room, but that seemed silly since he needed those books from the front desk if he wanted to clear his list of books to be processed or fixed.

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.” Eddie took a step away from the safety of the back room where Ava was not allowed to be and towards the books he needed to retrieve.

“So, were you looking for someone?” Josh fell into step along side him.

“I thought you wanted a quiet break.”

Josh’s watch buzzed at the very moment Eddie finished his comment.

“It’s over.” Josh held up his arm with the watch on it. “That girl you keep talking to is here again.”

“Is she?” So the car he could just see the tail end of from the window in the breakroom was hers. Just as he’d suspected.

“Yep. She’s working on the computer next to your grandmother.”

That was also what he had expected. Next to his grandmother was Ava’s usual spot to work when she was at the library. The two had grown to be good friends from their first meeting, which was not unusual for his grandmother. She made friends easily.

“I heard her ask Lacey if you were here today.”

Eddie groaned inwardly as Josh continued his report.

“Lacey said you were in the back and that she’d let you know that she was looking for you.”

Eddie blew out a breath. Apparently, no amount of stealth was going to save him from having to see Ava, and he had gotten a bruised shoulder for no reason. He glanced to his right, but his companion was not there.

Josh had stopped walking and was staring at him as if Eddie were the oddest thing he had ever seen. “Is that who you’re trying to avoid? The pretty girl?”

Eddie stopped for a moment to reply. “Yeah.”

“That’s weird. I wouldn’t be avoiding her. She’s nice.”

“She is.” And pretty, just as Josh had said. And argumentative. And a romance writer, who had sent him some pages to edit last week and probably wanted to know what he thought of those pages.

“Then, it’s even weirder that you’re avoiding her.”

It wasn’t weird at all when you knew that your opinion of her work was likely not going to be well-received, but Eddie wasn’t about to tell Josh that. That’d be way too close to telling someone he was reading romance – for pay, but still. It was reading romance, and that was something he’d said he’d never do.

“I just have a lot to do today.” Eddie pushed down the twinge of guilt that accompanied the lie. His work was done except for three books that needed protective covers added to them before they went into circulation. “But I suppose I can see what Ava wants first.”

There really wasn’t any other option. Both his sister-in-law Lacey and Gran would ask him about why he hadn’t talked to her. There was a lot that was good about being close to home and family, but then, there were days, like today, when he wished he lived and worked further from home than he did. Maybe he should see if any of the schools were looking for a librarian. Then, none of his family would be able to visit him during his workday – at least not until they had kids in that school, and maybe not even then depending on visitor regulations and such.

“Can I help with any of your work?” Josh offered. He was a good kid in that way. Very obliging and willing to put himself out for someone else. “I did all the shelving that was on the cart, and there’s still half-an-hour before I can start going through the bookshelves in there.” He thumbed to his right. “To search for books that are out of order.”

In the children’s area, Eddie could see Jenna weaving her way in between tables where a half-dozen elementary school kids were bent over books doing homework or whatever. To send Josh with his grade ten “geeky cuteness,” as Eddie had heard one of the older elementary girls describe it, into the area to look for wayward books would not help Jenna keep things in the afterschool program running as they were supposed to.

“I’m afraid I don’t have anything I can pass on to someone else. I’d hate for either you or me to get in trouble.” Edmund paused as his eyes roved the library, looking for something for Josh to do that wasn’t following him and possibly overhearing that he read romance.

Ah! There! A magazine lay open on a chair. “I don’t know if the magazines have been checked yet today. There were quite a few moms here waiting for story time to end earlier. If you could check that, it’d be a big help.”

A broad, but still lopsided, grin spread across Josh’s face. “I can do that. Thanks, Mr. – er… Eddie,” Josh corrected.

Finally. It had taken a full summer and a month and a half of the school year, but Josh had finally remembered that he could call him Eddie and not Mr. Bennett.

As Josh hurried away towards the magazine racks, Eddie turned toward the computer room where Gran was waving him over. She must have been watching for him. He shook his head. There really was no hiding from family some days, and whether his insides were twisting with anxiety or not, the time had come. It couldn’t be avoided any longer. He was going to have to tell Ava that her new story was dull – done before – not what would hold a reader’s attention – and she wasn’t going to like it. Not that he blamed her. He never liked hearing his work was anything but good either.

“Hey, Gran,” he said as he entered the computer work room, “how’s the computer treating you today?” Yesterday, the cord had come unplugged in the middle of a baking video Gran was watching.

“I’ve kept my feet very close to my chair and my cane is by the wall, so there was nothing to frighten it into silence.” She favoured him with a smile that twinkled in her eyes. She tried his patience at times, but was there really any better grandmother in the whole world that he could have been stuck with? He didn’t think so.

“I’m afraid you won’t get to climb under the table on my account today,” she continued.

Eddie chuckled. “I think I can live with that. Brandon should be here soon.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me before my time is up?”

“No, I was just making conversation.” And avoiding Ava for as long as possible.

Gran’s eyes shifted in Ava’s direction as if she could read Eddie’s mind. “As much as I love talking to you, there is someone here who wanted your help with something.” Her eyebrows waggled.

She knew.

How did she know? This work arrangement between him and Ava was supposed to be confidential. But then, she was Gran. Was there any secret in their family that his grandmother didn’t manage to discover? She was excessively good at it. Perhaps she had been a spy in her younger years. His eyes narrowed as he looked at her. Maybe she still was. Who would suspect a loveable, grey-haired lady with a cane of being a secret operative?

“I think she sent you a chapter or two?” There was a lift to her voice that made is sound as if she wasn’t sure of the information that Eddie was certain she knew quite well.

Eddie nodded. “She did, but I’m not sure she wants to speak about them with an audience.” He gave his grandmother an I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-this-now look.

“Well, if you would’ve replied to the two emails she sent this week, you wouldn’t need to speak about it with an audience of one.”

His eyes squeezed shut. He had known avoiding those emails was a bad idea, and he had expected Ava to be displeased that he hadn’t replied. However, he hadn’t expected to be scolded by Gran. He despised being scolded – by anyone – but most especially Gran.

“I’m sorry,” he admitted softly. “I just didn’t know how to say what I had to say.” He still wasn’t sure he did.

“You hated them?” Ava’s eyes were wide when he finally dared to look in her direction.

“No, not really.”

Her arms crossed over her chest – that was Ava’s usual prove-me-wrong gesture – and one eyebrow arched over accusing eyes. “Not really is the same as yes.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Children,” Gran inserted. “I think there is an overlap that makes you both correct. Now, sit down, Eddie, and explain yourself, because I liked them.”

Eddie’s attention snapped to his grandmother and away from the feisty blonde who was still staring him down. “You read them?”

Gran shrugged and nodded as is she wasn’t altogether sure she should be admitting to anything.

“She’s beta reading for me. I thought it might help me to hear a reader’s point of view as I went.”

Eddie shifted his focus back to Ava. “And I’m not a reader?”

Ava huffed. Her arms were still crossed, and her expression hadn’t softened. “You’re an editor and not a fan of romance. Gran, on the other hand, looooves a good happily ever after.”

“I sure do – whether it’s in a book or real life.” His grandmother winked at him, causing him to shake his head.

His grandmother was nearly as bad as his mother about wanting to see him and his brothers married. Of course, she seemed to be a bit sneakier about it. She wormed her way into the good graces of the young lady she wanted to claim as a granddaughter and then set her course to see it happen. He glanced at Ava and then back to his grandmother. Was this why his Gran had become such good friends with Ava? “Yes, well, let’s stick to the fictional ones, shall we?”

No matter how pretty Ava was, he wasn’t going to marry a romance author. Not even if she was excessively attractive and her books were good. It just wouldn’t work. They argued far too much for them to ever be anything other than acquaintances or perhaps friends. Maybe even good friends.

“You’re not getting any younger,” Gran grumbled.

“Brandon is older than me, and for that matter, so is Fred.”

His grandmother laughed. “Brandon I will concede to, but Fred? I don’t think half an hour makes that much of a difference.”

“That’s not how Fred sees it.” Freddie, Eddie’s older-by-half-an-hour twin, liked to point out that Eddie was, in fact, the baby brother. At least, there was Emma to take the place of the baby of the family so that he no longer had to be that, too. Not that Emma’s arrival had stopped anyone from teasing him about being the baby brother!

“Very well, they are both older than you, but my point still stands. None of you are getting younger and neither am I. I would like to see all of you – even Emma – settled into a happily ever after before I go to my eternal one.”

“He doesn’t believe happily ever afters exist in reality,” Ava said with a flutter of her lashes for him.

“They don’t. No one can be happy forever and always.” Did they have to argue about this every time it came up? She was wrong. Why couldn’t she just accept that happily ever afters, as wonderful as they might be, were fictional.

“That’s not what happily ever after means,” she retorted as she always did when they ventured down this road.

“That’s precisely what happily ever after means – happy forever and always.”

“I’m with Ava on this one,” Gran inserted, “and I would say half of the Book Drop ladies would agree. The other half would likely view it as narrowly as you do.”

“I am not viewing it narrowly.” He assumed Ava’s prove-me-wrong stance by crossing his arms and scowling. Why was his grandmother taking Ava’s side?

“I think you are,” Ava muttered.

Of course, she did!

“It’s just not possible,” he countered.

“I will have you know, Edmund Bennett, that it is entirely possible for a couple to commit themselves to living a happy and satisfied life together.” Gran’s sharp tone made him wince. “However, that does not mean that everything is smooth sailing. There’s often baggage and scars that follow people into marriage. Heaven knows your grandfather and I had our share of disagreements, but we were committed to each other, and we worked it out in such a way that we were quite happy with each other and more than satisfied.” Her voice softened. “And when I do step into glory, seeing him again is only second to praising my Saviour on the list of things I want to do.”

He wasn’t going to win this one. Nor did he really want to win it when his grandmother’s voice was so full of emotion. He held up his hands. “Fine. Let’s work on the premise that happily ever after means being satisfied and committed.”

“And happy,” Ava inserted. “Most of the time.”

Eddie pressed his lips together and nodded instead of correcting her most times to sometimes.

“Now, about my pages.”

Eddie sat down and ripped the band-aid off the topic. “It’s been done before.”

Ava shook her head and gave him a wryly amused look. “Of course, it’s been done before. There really isn’t anything new under the real or the fictional sun.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Oh, he did not want to admit this, but the wound was already exposed. This was going to be painful – and not just for her. “If you give your readers the same plot rewashed and hung out to dry with a little less colour than before, you’re going to lose them.”

“Did you just say the plot is dull?” Horror painted her features as he nodded.

“I didn’t find it dull,” Gran inserted.

He blew out a breath. Now came the part of this that would hurt him the most. “Have you read book three?” he asked his grandmother. “This is the same conflict with different names.”

Ava’s hand clutched his arm. “You read book three?” Her excitement was palpable.

“Yes. I’ve read this whole series and your last one, too.” He squeezed his eyes closed as if not being able to see anything outside of his head would keep his grandmother and Ava from knowing he had spent hours – many, many hours – secretly doing something which he had always said he would never, ever, in a million years, do – reading romance.

“I only have three series under this pen name. I’m impressed.”

And there was the smugness he had expected to hear. He despised being wrong and disliked admitting it even more.

“I know. I just started the third series last week.” He dared to look at his grandmother, whose mouth was hanging open. “I had to do my research,” he said as he lifted and lowered one shoulder.

That’s how it had begun, but then, he had actually enjoyed himself. That was a fact that still disturbed him.

“If I’m going to give Ava good advice about her work, I need to know her work. If I hadn’t read book three, then I wouldn’t know that this book holds a strong similarity to that one.”

“Strong enough to put readers off?” Ava asked.

Eddie shrugged. “Maybe not, but do you want to risk it?”

“How many romance books is that?” Gran asked.

“Twenty,” Eddie answered. Twenty romance books were all he was going to admit to having read. There was no way he was going to tell either Ava or Gran that he had subscribed to Ava’s mailing list under an alias and a new email address to get the free prequels she offered. He had fully intended to unsubscribe as soon as he got the freebies, and he still might, but he hadn’t yet. She was entertaining even in her emails.

“I was surprised when I heard you had read one and were going to help edit when needed. But twenty?” Gran shook her head in unbelief. “Well, if that doesn’t prove miracles still happen.”

“I wouldn’t call it miraculous that I read twenty books.”

“I would, and I am since they’re romance books,” his grandmother replied with a laugh. She patted his knee. “Your secret is safe with me. I’m not going to stand in the way of you helping Ava get those books written. That first one I read was good. I’m glad Trish told us about it at book club.”

“I’m glad she talked about it while I was getting a muffin so I could be exempt from the conversation.” Ava said before looking at Eddie. “I suppose if I don’t want to listen to comments about the new book being dull at a future Book Drop meeting, I need to fix what I’ve written. Did you have any ideas about how to improve or change it when you were reading it?”

“I did.”

“Could you email them to me?”

“Sure.”

“This week?” She gave him a pointed look.

He smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. I’ll get them to you tomorrow morning. I just really didn’t know how to tell you that your chapters weren’t as engaging as they should be.”

“You seemed plenty capable of doing that just now,” she grumbled.

“Because I had to. Not because I wanted to.”

He knew she was struggling. How couldn’t she be? Her brother-in-law had been killed in a military exercise not that long ago. She was throwing herself into helping her sister deal with her grief and her daughter all while trying to craft happily ever afters for her readers to enjoy.

Happily ever after he scoffed silently. Losing a husband to an accident didn’t sound like a happily ever after to him. They just didn’t exist in real life, which was one reason why he had never liked romances.

She gave him one of those sweet smiles she often wore when she wasn’t being challenging. “Thanks. I’m glad you considered my feelings in the matter, but I do need to know these things. Even if I don’t want to.” The smile faded.

“Sorry.” Necessary or not, it hurt to add to the burden she was carrying.

“No, no, don’t be. We’re professionals. We can deal with difficult things. Of course, my former editor sometimes sweetened the news with chocolate.”

Eddie laughed. “What is it with girls and chocolate?”

“I don’t know about other girls, but it’s this girl’s favourite sweet treat.”

“Duly noted. I will try to remember the chocolate the next time I have a tough critique to deliver.”

Gran patted his knee again. “Such a good boy,” she muttered. “Now, before Brandon gets here, do you know if book three is available in paperback?”

“No, but I can look.” His grandmother preferred paperbacks to ebooks just like he did. “Are you sure you don’t want to start with book one?”

“Wellll…” the word was drawn out and Gran’s tone was uncertain. “I really want to know if what you said about book three and the newest chapters is as obvious to me as it is to you, but I suppose starting with book one makes sense.” She nodded her head as if she had made some sort of decision. “Yes, I do believe you are correct, so, if books one through three are available, I think I have my next three weeks’ reading sorted, and I can go back to the other series that other book was part of after.”

“Do you need anything else?” Eddie asked Ava as he stood.

“No, just that email tomorrow.”

“You’ll have it,” he assured her before going to see what he could find for Gran.

Order Now!

<< Go Back


Developed by Camna, LLC

This is a service provided by ACFW, but does not in any way endorse any publisher, author, or work herein.