<< Go Back

While It Was Snowing

By Tari Faris

Order Now!

Ten days until Christmas and not even Brenda Lee’s original of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” could put Ellie Mathews in the holiday spirit. She tapped through the preset on the car radio until she found a song about something other than yuletide cheer.
“Hey, I liked that song.” Her roommate’s dark curls swung just above her shoulders as Rylie leaned forward and tried to scan back through the channels with no luck. “Great, now it’s gone.”
“Driver's choice and I’m tired of Christmas music. That’s all.” That wasn’t all, but all Ellie didn’t want to talk about right now. Because if she talked about what was really on her mind then she’d have to think about him. And one thing she managed to do during the past six months at NYU was not think about him.
Okay, that was a lie but at least she’d managed not to talk about him. And if she played her cards right, she could continue her streak of not talking about him and definitely not seeing him for the next ten days.
“Okay, Scrooge. You can’t be tired of Christmas music until after Christmas. It’s the law.” Ellie didn’t have to look over to know that her roommate’s freckled nose was twisted in a frown making her look so much like Ellie’s younger sister Trinity.
Ellie flipped on the blinker and took the exit to Heritage, the vise around her chest tightening with every mile they got closer. “Pretty sure that isn’t a law, even here.”
"I own the car, I make the law." Rylie had her there.
Ellie had spent the last month saving every penny and she still hadn't come up with enough for the plane ticket. If Rylie hadn't offered to drive her in exchange for a real small-town Christmas, she'd been celebrating the holiday with her family via FaceTime. But if Rylie wanted small town, that was one thing Ellie could give her.
“If I knew you were going to be this ba-humbuggery, I would have gone with my parents to Italy.”
“Why didn’t you? Christmas in Venice sounds amazing.” Ellie paused at the four-way stop at Richard and Henderson. The sky was gray with not a flake of snow in the sky. They usually had almost a foot by now but not this year.
A Christmas tree with oversized ornaments sat in one corner of the town square, and the same decorations that had been going up on the light poles since before she was born were lit in all their cheesy glory. An angel, a candle, and her favorite, the flashing “Noel.” At least they’d replaced the burned-out lightbulbs this year. “I would take a gondola any day over this.”
“Not Venice—Rome.” Rylie eyed the decorations with wide eyes as they passed. “And I do love Rome. But Christmas in our house in Rome is . . . perfect. Too perfect. Like straight out of a magazine.”
“I’m sorry but I am still waiting to hear why this is better.” Ellie gestured to a large gaudy sign advertising the annual Christmas Adam dance. They needed to replace that sign—then again, it sort of matched the usual dated small-town decorations that made up the dance. Last year they had upped their game a bit with white paper snowflakes from the ceiling. But if she had charge of that dance, she would make it an event to remember.
“What is Christmas Adam?” Rylie squinted at the sign.
“December 23rd. Because Adam came—”
“Before Eve. Ha. Clever. See, you wouldn’t see something like that in New York. Wait, is that a statue of a hippo?” Rylie’s nose was practically pressed to the side window. “Wearing a Santa hat? Even you can’t hate a Santa-hat-wearing hippo.”
“That’s Otis. And no—I could never hate him. But don’t let my sister Trinity hear you call it a statue.” She flipped on her blinker and turned left on Second Street. “To her, he is Otis, and he’s real. Although the Santa hat is new.”
Ellie hadn’t seen the town icon since he’d gone missing this summer, but she’d heard that when he reappeared, he came back with a little more energy and flair on occasion. The hat must be some of the flair that her sister Faith had been talking about.
“Why does she think he’s real?”
“He moves on occasion.” Ellie pulled into an empty spot in front of Donny's diner. “So don’t be shocked if you see him in a different spot. At least until it snows.”
“He moves? How?”
“No one knows.” She thought the secret might finally get out with the changes, but according to Faith, it was as mysterious to the townspeople as ever.
Ellie hopped out of her car and drew in a deep breath that was laced with pine trees and Donny's fries. The scent of Heritage . . . The scent of home. She’d spent her teenage years counting down the days until she could get out of this town and here she getting all sentimental about returning. Sure it was just for Christmas, but she refused to be the cliche movie heroine who returned home for the holidays only to discover her hometown was what she really wanted all along.
NYU had one of the best interior design programs and Ellie had been lucky enough to not only get in, but also acquire enough scholarships and grants to make it affordable. In high school she'd chosen studies over parties and volunteering over dances in order to make NYU happen. And all the sacrifices had paid off.
She simply had to keep those dreams at the front of her mind. And to do that she needed to stay away from the one person who had the power to break her resolve.
She’d cried the entire drive from Michigan to New York, almost begging her parents to turn around at every exit they passed. But she’d gotten out of this small town and she wasn’t returning permanently. Not for anyone.
Arriving on a Wednesday night late increased the chance they wouldn’t be noticed, and she sent up a silent thanks that Donny’s was nearly empty tonight. “And for the record, I don’t hate Heritage. I love it actually. It’s just—”
“Well, if it isn’t Miss Ellie Mathews.” Mayor Jameson walked toward them from down the sidewalk, his familiar smile in place, as well as his blue blazer pulling the brass buttons at his belly for all they were worth. “How is our New York girl?”
“I’m doing fine, Mayor. This is my roommate, Rylie.”
“Well, welcome to Heritage. We’re sure glad to have you.” He reached for his wife as she stepped out of the bank where she must have been visiting the ATM. “Look who it is. Ellie is back and brought her roommate.”
Mrs. Jameson snuggled into her husband’s side as if to steal a bit of his warmth. “How wonderful. Word was you weren’t rolling in until tomorrow.”
Rylie sent her a questioning look but she shrugged it off. “Got here early.”
“Have you seen your family yet?” The woman’s face lit up with the hint of gossip in her eyes. “The whole town is waiting to hear if Olivia and Nate are having a boy or a girl.”
“This is our first stop.”
“Sure to be an exciting Christmas for your family.” The mayor patted his wife’s hand. “Well, we should—”
Ignoring his attempt to leave, she leaned forward her drawn-on eyebrows nearly disappearing under her hat.. “I personally think Gideon will propose soon.”
“I guess we’ll see.” Ellie took another step toward the diner, but the woman was not to be deterred.
“And what about you?”
“Me?”
“Have you seen Kade?”
And there it was. The name she’d been trying to keep from her mind, and with it came a flood of emotions. Emotions she didn’t want to have on the street.
“I haven’t seen him since June.” She grabbed Rylie’s arm and tugged her toward the diner’s door. “We’d better get in and catch some dinner.”
“Fine, fine. You two have fun.” The mayor offered a little wave then tugged on his wife’s arm again.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Ellie sent Rylie a pointed look. “And that is what I don't miss about Heritage.”
“They’re sweet.”
“Yes. Everyone is sweet. But there are no secrets in Heritage. And the nightlife stinks. This is the only place open past six. And my sister and her husband own it, so we’re in luck.”
There was a lot she missed about Heritage, her family being number one, but New York fit her better. She pulled open the door to Donny’s, letting the familiar chime settle in her soul.
Janie had gone all out with Christmas decorations. But unlike the usual tinsel fare that had been up in the past, the modern decorations with a vintage slant could have come off any Pinterest board Ellie had created. Her eyes traveled from the rag garland that hung above the windows to the retro wooden ornaments hanging in the windows. Maybe it had.
When “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” floated over the speakers, Rylie spun to face her, poking her in the chest. “No asking them to change the music.”
“I wouldn’t even if she begged.” Janie appeared in the door that led to the kitchen then hurried over and wrapped Ellie in a giant hug. “We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow.”
Janie had her dark hair up in a topknot but still managed to look elegant even with the Christmas apron and wearing a clip of holly in her hair.
“I know. Which is why we stopped here for dinner. I didn’t want to drop in at home this late hungry without Mom expecting us.”
“Of course. It’s on the house. And you must be Rylie.” Janie gave Rylie a big hug, and by the way Rylie’s eyes widened slightly, she hadn’t been prepared for that. Welcome to a small town and a big family. Janie released her and took a step back. “It is so good to finally meet you. Take a seat anywhere you’d like.”
Ellie led them to a booth along the back wall where she could keep an eye on the door. It was probably a dumb move coming here if she wanted to avoid . . . people. But if anyone particular came in, she could slip out to the bathroom from here without being seen.
“Why weren’t they expecting us until tomorrow? Arriving today was always the plan.” Rylie slid in across the table.
“I wanted to surprise them.” It was true. Because every member of her family and half the town was Team Kade as evidenced on the street just now. They would no doubt tell him of her planned arrival date and time. She wanted to get settled before she saw him. Not to mention look a little better than she did after two days of traveling.
Janie set silverware in front of them and two glasses of water. “So you’ve just rolled into town? You haven’t seen anyone else yet?”
Ellie had little doubt of who Janie was referring to, but she’d opt for playing dumb. “This is our first stop. How is Olivia?”
“Sick. The doctor said the worst of it could be over between fifteen to twenty weeks, but last I knew she was still spending most of her days on the couch.”
“Poor baby.”
“I know. I’ll tell Thomas to start your favorite. And this is for you.” She handed Rylie a menu then disappeared back behind the counter.
Rylie scanned the menu a moment then set it aside. “Is everyone in your family beautiful?”
“My older sisters are the beautiful ones." Ellie pulled the tie from her wrist and secured her hair in a loose bun, suddenly regretting not taking time to look her best. Sure, she’d been in the car all day, but a little make up along with taming her frizzy mane made her feel in control and confident. Today she could use a bit of that feeling. “Janie’s hair is a nice straight brown. And wait until you meet Olivia. She has curly white-blond hair and is about five-eleven. My hair is just blah. Too brown to be blond, too blond to be brown, to straight to be curly, to curly to be straight.”
“Oh boohoo. I’m Ellie, I am only five-seven and gorgeous. I’m happy when people don’t offer me a kid’s menu.”
At twenty-two, Rylie was three years older than Ellie. But with her short stature, round face, and a smattering of freckles, it was inevitable for people to think she was Ellie’s younger sister. But as much as Rylie teased, Ellie had never met someone more comfortable in her own skin and she couldn’t help being a bit envious of that.
“Okay, let me see if I remember. Janie is married to Thomas. Next comes Olivia who is married to Nate. Then Gideon?”
“Yes. Gideon is dating Danielle and as you heard, the whole town is waiting for that engagement. Then I’m next. The middle. After me comes Faith, who is fourteen, then Caleb, who is twelve. And Trinity is eight and a half. Don’t forget the half.”
“Noted. Eight and a half, Otis is real. I think Trinity and I will get along well. So, now tell me about Kade. Is he in this photo?” Rylie eyed the photo from the alumni basketball game that hung on the wall of the booth. “Wowee! Look at all this man candy. Seriously, why did you want to leave?”
Ellie pointed at the photo. “Brother-in-law, engaged, married, married, brother—”
“And that one?”
Ellie leaned closer to see who Rylie was pointing to, but Rylie’s eyes were no longer on the photo. They were focused on someone at the door. The door she’d been supposed to be watching but she'd angled her head to better see the photo.
As if she could sense him—feel the weight of his gaze, Ellie had no doubt who was behind her. She swallowed, drew a slow breath, and schooled her features before turning to meet the deep brown eyes that had filled her dreams for the past year. Months apart had done nothing to lessen their effect on her.
He was still tall and lanky but his shoulders had filled out quite nicely. His hair was still a blond floppy mess, as if he didn’t have the time to deal with it. But he made it work. He made it all work. And if she wasn’t careful, she’d let him talk her into staying this time like he had almost done before.
He stopped in front of their booth, his eyes never leaving hers. “I heard you were coming home for Christmas. Did you just get in?”
No doubt he’d been informed by the whole town that she was supposed to arrive tomorrow. “Yup.”
Well, that was a brilliant statement. Not, Are you still painting? How have you been? Have you missed me as much as I’ve missed you? No, no, and a definite no. If she opened this conversation, he’d see right through her. She had to keep a distance. Because nothing had changed. He wanted a life here and she wanted New York.
A slight cough pulled her back to the table. Right. “Kade, this is my roommate Rylie Morgan. Rylie, this is my . . . friend, Kade Paxton.”
Kade’s eyes hardened a bit before he offered his hand and a genuine smile to Rylie. “It’s good to meet you.”
His color-stained fingers answered the question about if he was still painting. But that information didn’t settle her curiosity. It filled her with more questions.
“Likewise.” Rylie’s gaze bounced between them as a smile filled her face. “Care to join us?”
“Well—”
“I’m sure he has plans.”
The bell over the door jingled and a group of teens piled in the diner, bringing with them a roar of laughter and conversation.
Kade eyed the food containers on the counter. “Looks like my to-go order is ready.”
He offered them each a nod. His gaze lingered on Ellie a bit longer. She broke eye contact first and he went to grab his food.
“So that’s Kade? I knew there was something you weren’t telling me. I mean, you are never this on edge.” She slapped the table with her hand. “And no one sane hates Christmas music.”
“You’re wrong, Rylie. It’s just—”
“Don’t You’re wrong, Rylie me. I have eyes and you, my dear, are in love with that man.”
Love? She was nineteen for goodness’ sake.
This was why she’d decided not to date anyone in high school. She’d almost made it too. But when the guy she had been crushing on most of her life asked her to dance at last year’s Christmas Adam dance, she’d been a goner. Their romance had been quick and intense, and she’d almost let him derail her plans. Almost.
“Not that I blame you. He is quite easy on the eyes. So what is the problem? Because the way he was eating you up, I know the feelings aren’t one-sided.” The girl wasn’t going to give up until she gave her something.
She leaned closer to Rylie and lowered her voice. “We dated for a few months before I left in June for my NYU summer class. It wasn’t long. It was barely more than a fling.”
The word tasted like a lie. But she wasn’t about to sit here and admit that she’d been crushing on her brother’s best friend as long as she could remember. To him, it probably was a fling. Sure, he’d asked her to stay, but he hadn’t made any attempt to contact her. Not once.
“And you never mentioned him because . . .?”
Janie appeared then and took Rylie’s order. Ellie sighed in relief for the rescue. But that relief was short-lived because as soon as Janie was out of earshot, Rylie started in on her again. “Why did you break up?”
“We broke up because I graduated and I went to college.”
“And?”
“What do you mean? I was eighteen, leaving for college. He was only twenty. We were too young for a serious relationship. It was just a blip. Everyone knows long-distance relationships don’t work.”
“I’m a hundred percent sure that isn’t true.”
“Many fail.”
“And some don’t. And some not-long-distance relationships fail. What was the real problem? It couldn’t be because you wanted to date at college, since you haven’t been on one date.”
“I want to see the world. College in New York was always the plan. I didn’t plan to . . .”
“Fall in love?”
“Stop saying ‘love.’ Like maybe. We’re too young to be in love. It was a flash-in-the-pan, whirlwind romance. I’m sure he’s barely thought of me.”
“I saw the way he looked at you. He’s done more than think about you. That boy loves you.”
“You’re wrong. I follow his friend Gary on Instagram and Kade has had plenty of girls draped on him in the photos.”
“You know what I think?” Rylie studied her for a moment then sat back in the booth. “I think you are afraid you actually do love him.”
Ellie pressed her lips together and sank back in the booth, breaking eye contact. “No.”
The one word didn’t sound convincing even to her own ears.
Ellie pulled one of the Christmas-themed napkins from the holder and smoothed it across her lap. “It doesn’t matter. We ended it last June and I am only home for two weeks.”
“A lot can happen in two weeks. Haven’t you ever watched a Hallmark movie? Christmas is the perfect time to rekindle a romance.”
Her friend didn’t understand. She and Kade wanted different things. “Sometimes love—and I am not saying it is—isn’t enough.”
“Enough for what?”
“Enough to give up my dreams for.”
###
The worst was over. He’d face her and it had answered all his questions. Ellie was over him and Kade was as much in love as ever. He let himself in the side door of his dad’s house and carried a couple bags of groceries and the to-go order to the kitchen. “Hey, Pops.”
“Hey, Kade.” His dad appeared in the door to the kitchen in faded jeans and a threadbare brown flannel. “What are you doing here?”
“Brought you dinner. And giving you something more to eat than . . .” Kade yanked open the freezer and pulled out the top frozen dinner off the stack. “Salisbury steak and peas.”
“Don’t knock it. That one comes with pineapple cake.” His dad leaned against the doorframe, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Well, since I would like you to still be alive on my next birthday, how about you mix in a bit of this as well.” He held up a head of lettuce and set it in the fridge.
“Rabbit food.”
His dad might complain a lot, but Kade knew he appreciated it. Kade’s mom had left the month after he graduated from high school, as if raising him had been officially checked off her list of to-dos and she was moving on. She still kept in touch with Kade with the regular holiday phone calls, but her leaving had gutted his dad, and Kade wasn’t sure he could ever forgive her for that.
His dad lifted one of the lids off the boxes from Donny’s. “Now this is what I’m talking about.”
“I got the lasagna and chicken and dumplings. Take your pick.” Kade added the last can to the cupboard and then exchanged the plastic forks they’d been given for two metal ones from the drawer and held one out.
His dad took it, claimed the dumplings, then carried it to his regular spot by the TV. “I hear Ellie Mathews is coming back for Christmas.”
The image of her large hazel eyes staring up at him in the booth filled his head. He’d almost been optimistic for a half second. Then she’d introduced him as an old friend. Not that he really wanted her introducing him as an ex, but the word friend had still burned through him.
“She’s already back. I just saw her at the diner.” He ignored the pinch in his chest that accompanied the words.
His dad’s eyes darted to his as if trying to find a hidden answer. “Don’t get attached again, son, she’s leaving just like before. She’s always thought she was too good for this place.”
He eyed his father again as he flipped through the channels. The elbows in his shirt were near worn through and so were the knees of his jeans. Maybe he’d take him clothes shopping soon.
“And don’t let her fill your head with dreams either. You need to keep your real job.”
And just when he was having a warm father-son moment. “I make money at painting. It is a real job. Do you know how much I got paid for painting the front of the MIM?”
“That’s one painting. How many buildings do you think Heritage has? Face it, it’s a hobby. You need a steady paycheck.”
“I could paint more if I had more time.” His voice grew in volume and he took a slow breath to calm himself. “I am a painter who can fix cars. I’m not a mechanic. And I’ve been praying about it. I think painting is what God wants me to do.”
His dad paused with his fork in the air, his jaw tightening. “God doesn’t need you to paint Him pictures. That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.”
His dad never put much faith in God. According to him life was what a person chose to make of it, and all Kade needed was hard work and realistic expectations. “If you don’t want to work at the garage anymore, then I can look at getting you a job at Heritage Fruits on the floor with me. Oh wait, they’re still on a hiring freeze. But they won’t be forever.”
“Dad, I love painting. I’m good at it too. Everyone seems to see that but you.” His voice was on full volume now.
His father set his food aside. “I just think you should—”
“You think I should be you. But I’m not like you. I’ve always been more like . . .”
His gaze traveled to the empty spot on the wall. Once upon a time, it held a painting of Little Sable Lighthouse he had painted with his mom. It was that painting that sparked something in him that could never be put out. He wished he knew what his father had done with it. Probably in a landfill by now.
“Your mother’s dreams destroyed this family. I want better for you.”
Didn’t his dad realize that he wanted better for himself—for his future family—too? But giving up his dream wasn’t better. That’s what his mom had done for years until she had lost herself. And by the time she had finally escaped, she’d left a trail of destruction in her wake. He didn’t want that. He wanted to find his future in his dream. But that was something his father and he would never see eye to eye on.
Silence settled on them, and his dad focused back on the TV and turned up the volume, effectively shutting down any more discussion.
Kade picked up the lasagna and aimed for the door. “I got to go. I’ll see you later.”
“Door’s always open.”
The door was always open but there were limits on what they could talk about.
Ten minutes later he hurried up the steps to his second-floor apartment, unlocked the door, and dropped the to-go container and mail on the table. It wasn’t much of an apartment but it was his. And he didn’t have to listen to his father complaining about his paint supplies everywhere or how much he spent on them. Someday he’d get a studio but for now, the goal had been to save every penny he could if he had any hope of quitting the garage.
His dad’s words still rang in his ears. Painting is a hobby. You need a steady paycheck. Maybe he was a fool to think he could make it as a painter. He’d been fool enough to be optimistic about Ellie’s return.
He regretted more times than he could count over the past several months that he’d pushed her so hard to stay. After all, if he loved her then he should want her to have her dream, not just live his dream. He’d wanted to tell her that but he hadn’t expected that one conversation to be their last. Their last until today. And with the indifferent way she looked at him, that door was shut.
He grabbed a glass, filled it with water from the tap, and took a seat at the table. He popped the top of the take-out container then shoveled in a bit of Thomas’s lasagna as he began flipping through the mail.
His fingers paused on one envelope. The return address. Brooklyn College. He’d started applying to places because he wanted to be near Ellie, but as the months went by, he’d grown to love the idea of pursuing his art. He was serious when he’d told his dad that he felt that was what God wanted him to do. He just had no idea how to do it. College seemed like the next step.
His eyes flicked to the pile of rejections next to his computer. He’d applied ten places and so far he’d received eight rejections. But he didn’t need ten acceptances. All he needed was one. One acceptance. One chance. One opportunity to make it happen.
His fingers shook as he tore open the envelope and scanned the letter.
I regret to inform you that your application for admission to Brooklyn College has not been accepted. If you . . .
His fingers tightened on the paper a moment before he stood and dropped it on the pile by his computer. That left one school that he hadn’t heard from. The one he really wanted. NYU. But even he knew that was a long shot. The rest of the schools had been backups.
Maybe he was wrong about what God wanted from him. Maybe he was wrong about listening to God at all. Because at one point he believed God had brought Ellie into his life. Nate had kept telling Kade to trust that God had a plan. That God could do more than he asked or imagined, but so far God had done nada.
He returned to his meal, the rich flavor losing some of its appeal.
Maybe his father was right. If he kept working full-time at Dan’s Garage, then he had a guaranteed income. But if he followed his dreams, what would that guarantee besides an empty bank account and permanently stained fingers?

Order Now!

<< Go Back