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All Your Heart

By LeighAnne Clifton

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Arms crossed and nostrils flaring. Alexandra Powell fumed watching her mother pack. The sweetness of the birdsong and the fragrance of daffodils floating in the open window were no match for Alex’s foul mood. Karen packed for another out-of-town job, leaving the town of Woodvale, North Carolina, behind, again. Alex couldn’t remember her mother refusing a client to attend a PTA meeting or a dance recital.
Karen lugged more clothes from her well-stocked closet to her bulging suitcases, preparing for an extended absence. Alex recalled the other times this scene had played out when Karen left before an important milestone in Alex’s life.
“Mom! Prom is next weekend.” The whine crept into her voice despite her best efforts to control it. “Will you be back in time?”
Karen looked upward, heaving a huge sigh. “Yes, Alex. I’ll be back. I won’t miss it.”
Alex plopped onto her mother’s bed while Karen zipped three pieces of luggage. Two weeks ago, Karen had promised Alex to squeeze prom dress shopping into her schedule, but she’d called from out of town and told Alex to go without her. A client needed Karen for several more days. Although devastated, Alex had pretended to laugh it off, as she had done with Karen’s countless absences throughout her life.
Alex’s many years working with her step-father J.T.’s construction crew had developed her carpentry skills and nourished her confidence. She’d soon be waving goodbye to life in a small Southern town as it disappeared in her rearview mirror. She couldn’t wait. The biggest drawback to her new independent life in California would be leaving the construction business. Alex doubted Karen would know she’d left. And, if Alex had to guess, she was willing to bet Karen wouldn’t be around on prom night.

  

Prom day. Cloudless and sunny. A perfect April day. As Alex predicted, Karen called before breakfast to announce she wouldn’t be able to break away from her job in Nebraska. She gushed her apologies, asking Alex about her dress and dinner plans, but she cut her daughter off mid-sentence to hurry to an important meeting. Alex tried to remain strong and stoic, having anticipated this very occurrence, but the crushing blow cut her to the core. Her mother would miss her prom—of all nights.
A single silent tear rolled down Alex’s cheek as she disconnected the call. She brushed the tear away with one quick swipe of her hand and drew in a deep breath.
“No more expectations,” Alex said to the pitiful-looking girl staring back at her in the mirror. “Starting now, you get out there! You live your life! And, you dang well enjoy it! Who cares if she doesn’t want to be a part of it?”
She punctuated each command with a jab of her pointed finger. Though her voice cracked a little on the last part of her pep talk, it almost worked. She made it through the day with barely a thought of Karen.
Decorating for the prom at the school gym that morning had gone off without a hitch. The Evening in Paris theme came to life under Alex’s imaginative and organized guidance as the decorating committee chair. The students had worked like a well-oiled machine to create the illusion of Paris right in the gym, setting the stage for a magical evening.
When Karen bailed on the dress shopping trip, Alex’s best friend Brittany had accompanied Alex. She’d helped Alex choose a simple dress. It was a pale shade of aqua with a beaded satin bodice and a full pouf skirt of matching shimmery tulle. It fit her to perfection, and highlighted her gorgeous chocolate-colored eyes. Slipping into the dress, Alex twirled and kicked, happy she’d chosen a dress with a short skirt, which freed her from the limitations and hindrances of yards and yards of fabric. Her thick brown curls cascaded from a ponytail secured high on top of her head. Brittany, more adept than Alex at makeup application, performed a mini-makeover with stunning results.
Slipping the backs onto her large rhinestone earrings, Alex checked her appearance one last time before heading downstairs to await the limo that would take her friends, both guys and girls, to their evening’s destination. As she neared the bottom, she saw J.T. smiling up at her, hands clasped behind his back. J.T. had always been the carpool parent, chef, and homework helper, the parental figure Alex trusted to listen to her problems and celebrate her successes.
“Hi, J.T.,” she said, puzzled but returning his smile. Sometimes grownups acted so weird.
“Hi, sweetheart. You look beautiful,” he said. Alex could see his eyes starting to get misty. “I wish your mother could see how pretty you look.”
“Please, don’t,” was all she could muster. If she tried to say more, she’d lose it, and she didn’t have time to rehash Karen’s most recently broken promise. Neither J.T. nor Alex could do anything about it now.
“I know y’all aren’t doing the date thing tonight, but I didn’t want you going to your prom without this.” As he spoke, Alex watched him bring from behind his back a clear floral box that he’d been hiding. In it nestled a corsage of fragrant white roses and delicate gypsophila. Aqua ribbon the exact color of her dress looped in and around the blooms.
J.T. carefully lifted the delicate creation from the box and slipped the corsage onto Alex’s wrist. She inhaled the sweet scent of the roses, tears stinging her eyes at the kindness of the gesture. She blinked them back in an attempt to prevent her mascara from running.
“J.T., you didn’t have to do this.”
“I know,” he said, staring at his feet, “but I never went to my own prom. My girlfriend got sick. It’s been fun watching you get ready for yours. And, besides, you are practically my daughter.”
With this last statement, he looked up, shrugging one shoulder while he tilted his head. Relief flooded Alex when the doorbell rang and released her from the awkward moment. She thanked J.T., gave him a quick hug goodbye, and hurried to the limo with the other two girls who’d already been picked up. Off they went, leaving J.T. to wave alone as they drove away.
“Karen,” J.T. spoke into the cool early evening, “you’ve really messed up this time.”

  

After a midnight breakfast hosted by a group of parents, the limo driver delivered all the kids back to their respective homes. Alex’s feet ached and exhaustion seeped into her bones, but these temporary maladies paled in comparison to the glow of contentment and happiness. She basked in the memories of the evening as she walked to the front door.
She smiled remembering her friends’ reactions when they first stepped into the transformed space. The beauty and elegance of the Paris theme had exceeded Alex’s expectations, and the night couldn’t have gone better. Alex danced almost every dance; thankful she’d chosen a short dress. She flitted about with little effort, unlike her friends who scooted around uncomfortably in skin-tight sheaths or mermaid gowns.
When she opened the door, Alex was surprised to hear the television still blaring in J.T.’s den. She thought he’d have long ago headed upstairs to bed, even if he were still waiting up for her. She assumed he had a full day of appointments tomorrow.
Alex slipped off her shoes, tucked one finger through both heel straps and tip-toed across the wood floors toward the staircase, peeking into the den as she passed by. J.T. sat on the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands. He was still awake but disheveled - shirt untucked, no shoes, hair tousled as if he’d run his hands through it many times. His body shook, leading Alex to believe he might be crying. An empty bottle of wine sat on the coffee table in front of him. Alex didn’t see a wine glass.
“J.T.,” Alex whispered, “are you all right?”
He jumped at the sound of her voice and stared at Alex with a mixture of confusion and guilt, as if caught doing something he shouldn’t. He stood, waved his arms wildly, and sputtered that everything was going to be okay. She thought he said her mom’s name, but his speech was so slurred, she couldn’t be sure. Alex set her shoes and bag down at the door and approached him, careful not to make a sudden move or noise.
“You’ve got a busy day tomorrow. Why don’t you go upstairs and turn in, J.T.?” This behavior was completely out of character, and Alex began to worry. She wanted him to sleep off whatever had gotten into his head.
As she got closer, she noticed another empty bottle underneath the table. What had he been doing? This was so unlike anything she’d ever seen him do. He never had more than one glass of wine. Maybe two on a special occasion.
She reached past him to start cleaning up the mess. As soon as she did, his demeanor changed as though someone had flipped a switch. He whipped his hand out and grabbed her by the wrist, so lightning-fast she had no chance to dodge the snare. Alex had trusted J.T. all her life, but in an instant, fear and panic overtook her. A longing look burned in his eyes, and he yanked her down onto the sofa with him. Alex bit her lip, stifling a scream. She knew it would do no good. Their neighbors lived so far away nobody would hear her. Besides, at two o’clock in the morning everyone had been asleep for hours.
“That’s right. There’s no need to scream,” J.T. said, an eerie calm descending over him as he caressed her hair with one hand while maintaining his iron grip on her wrists with the other. “You know I’d never hurt you.”
“J.T., I think you need to just go upstairs and go to sleep,” Alex said, crying now from the crushing pain in her wrists and the suffocating fear welling up from deep within.
The next few minutes seemed to happen in sickening slow motion, later to be played over and over again in Alex’s mind. His huge form loomed over her. His weight pressed her down. The stench of his alcohol-tainted breath choked her. The leather upholstery gripped the bare skin on her back. Helpless, Alex wished for her spiky-heeled shoes she’d left at the door, desperate for anything she could use as a weapon. In the back of her mind she knew what horror this man-turned-stranger was bent on, but she refused to make it easy for him.
Despite her determined struggle, though, Alex couldn’t match J.T.’s power and patience. He simply waited for her fighting spirit and adrenaline-fueled strength to play out. As she lay crying, the man she’d loved as a father for as long as she could remember, the man she’d trusted to protect her, that man, in his drunken haze, shattered her world and took from her what no one could ever give back.

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