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Lavender Tears

By Sondra Cunningham

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Chapter One

“Power to tread…”
Luke 10:19, KJV

I stood frozen, panic and fear pulsing through my body like lightning strikes. One wrong move, and I would be facing death’s poison. I had wandered too far from Lazarus and his group and was lost. That’s the price one pays, I guess, for deserting chores for a secret adventure with the boys.
I was not exactly “with” the boys but was following with burning curiosity. Lazarus would often gather a few friends and hike through the valley behind our property. They would use that time to explore nature and to discuss the sections of the Torah they were currently reading and studying. My heart was and has always been hungry for God, so I would trail behind them to listen and capture what I could from their discussions.
This time, however, my shadowing them did not turn out so well. I was lost and alone when a viper rose right in front of me, poised and ready to strike. I had stumbled into its den, and the snake was not about to relent. Its scales were brown and tan, spotted like a leopard. Its body was thick and long. The viper was the one snake I recognized. We were all taught from a young age to identify it because of its track record of death. Hissing at me, the snake darted its head back and forth, daring me to make the first move. I stared into its cold black eyes, looking for a glimmer of mercy but found none. Without warning, the snake lowered to the ground and slithered closer. I stood completely still as pure panic consumed me. The cool, smooth scales wrapped around my ankle and up my left leg as I watched helplessly.
This is it, I thought, I am going to die.
Thankfully, I’d shrieked loudly when the viper first lunged at me, just as Lazarus and his friends were passing through the nearby thickets. I could hear them.
“Lord, let them find me,” I prayed aloud.
Moments passed, then Eli suddenly called out my name. “Mary! Mary! Was that you? Where are you, Mary?”
I was too afraid to make a sound since I was trapped in the viper’s striking range. Mumbling and whimpering, I tried to lead the small group of boys toward me. Before long, they found me and came running through the thickets that separated us.
Lazarus reached me first. Seeing the viper, he immediately called out, “Stop!”
The group came to a halt.
“It’s a snake! No one move!” he said.
I closed my eyes the moment I saw my brother. I knew even if I were bitten, Lazarus would somehow find a way to save me. My brother was tall, strong, and brave, a God-fearing young man who knew what to do in almost every situation. He naturally found a way to make my family proud every day… unlike me.
“Lazarus,” I whispered, “what do I do?” My legs were trembling from standing still in fear for what seemed like hours. Nervous sweat was dripping down the sides of my neck and frightened tears down my cheeks. The air was damp and heavy from the cool of the morning, chilling me even more.
“Stay perfectly still, Mary. Do not move,” he said sternly.
I could hear him slowly climbing up a rock face just behind me. His breathing was intense but controlled.
The snake lowered itself to the ground once more and slithered a short distance from me. It poised up toward the new threatening group of intruders but kept its tail possessively wrapped around me.
Eli stood a few feet behind the viper but still directly in front of me. He was watching with terror in his eyes. After all, this could be the death of his future bride.
Lazarus’s newest friend, Jesus, was also there. His family was passing through the popular trade markets in Bethany before heading to Jerusalem. Jesus wasn’t just watching, though. He was looking right into my eyes, and the strangest feeling came over me. It was… peace. As long as my eyes were locked with his, I felt safe.
Before anything was said, before I could even shout “No!” Lazarus leapt into the air off the giant boulder behind me and came down directly on top of the snake’s head, crushing it completely. Without hesitation, he thrust me up over his shoulder and ran toward home. The crowd of boys scattered, leaving a trail of fading cheers and victorious chants for their newest hero, “Lazarus! Lazarus!” as they headed toward the village.
Eli followed Lazarus and me but couldn’t keep up with my brother’s long strides and was quickly left behind. Eli was a good friend of ours, but even he knew that was no time for friendly conversation. I was in big trouble, and I was also certain everyone in the village would soon hear of Lazarus’s heroic victory.

When I looked back over my brother’s shoulder, I caught the eyes of Jesus once more. He stood there staring at the crushed snake then glanced back at me then toward the sky. He was quickly out of my sight, but I could tell he wasn’t leaving that spot anytime soon. Was he praying? I wondered.
Something was very different about that boy. From the moment Lazarus met Jesus, my brother couldn’t stop talking about him. He went on and on, saying Jesus wasn’t like any of the other boys. He said Jesus had a deeper understanding of the ancient scriptures, impressive at such a young age. He would often find unique ways of connecting everyday life to the spiritual and his parables wonderfully challenged Lazarus’s amazing passion and wealth of spiritual knowledge.
As I flashed back to the incident, I recalled how Jesus’s eyes were locked with mine the whole time I was in death’s snake-like grip. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I had also felt something.
What had just happened to me was more than what the naked eye could see, but I couldn’t explain it. As I replayed the scene in my mind, I could see that Jesus never once flinched or shook like the others. He simply kept my focus. Then, for a split second, he watched as his new friend leapt selflessly into action, crushing one of the deadliest vipers known from here to Galilee. What was that about? I thought.
Lazarus was fast. We were nearly home when I came to the realization that I needed him to put me down. I was okay for the moment, but I needed time to think before facing mother.
“Lazarus! Please put me down!” I yelled, in tears.
Just as quickly as he’d scooped me up from the snake’s territory, he stopped. Gently, he slid me off his shoulder and looked at me. I was stunned as I noticed tears in his eyes.
“Lazarus, I’m okay. You… you saved me.” All I could think to do was wrap my arms around my heroic brother and squeeze him with all the life still left in me.
“You saved me, Lazarus. Oh, thank you!” I cried out.
Lazarus grabbed me by an arm and led me behind a dense group of bushes and cypress trees, probably to avoid causing further shame by airing our conversation to the local families’ listening ears. Lazarus was fourteen years old, making him accountable for his actions. I was only twelve at the time.
“Mary, what were you thinking? How long have you been following us?” Lazarus paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. “It’s too dangerous out in the valley! Mother and Father will be so angry when they find out! And… you could have… You would have…”
“I know!” I shouted before he could finish the thought. “I could have died, but I didn’t.”
After releasing him from my hug, I nudged him in the arm. “And what were you thinking, Lazarus? What if you missed? Surely, it would have bitten you!”
Lazarus nodded in agreement then paced in a circle around me with his hands toward Heaven, shouting, “God, you have granted me favor today! I give you all the glory! Thank you, oh Lord, for rescuing my sister and me from the den of the serpent.” He paused a moment then looked back toward me with tear-filled eyes. “Mary, I would give my life for you, for all of our family. But it is God alone who is worthy of the praise—God alone.”
“Yes,” I said. “Yes, thanks be to God.”
I rested on my knees and began to pray. After a few minutes, the reality of what had happened really hit me.
I stood to adjust my tunic, dusted myself off, and untangled my veil from a bush. My hair was a knotted mess of long, loose dark curls. I tried to braid it quickly and restore my veil before anyone else saw me.
“Oh, the shame this will bring upon Father and Mother,” I said while sinking my face into the palms of my shaking hands. “They have told me time and time again to remain at home and focus on my chores! I don’t know what my problem is! Rather than staying inside all day, cooking meals and making things, I need to be outside, seeing the world.” I paused to collect my thoughts.
“Lazarus, you know I want to learn more about God and the Holy Scriptures. How am I to do that if I’m trapped inside all day?”
“No, Mary!” He said. “Your place is at home, where it is safe. You are to be married soon. Think of Eli. He could have lost you too. Why can’t you be more like Martha and stop putting yourself in harm’s way?”
I looked him in the eyes with my hands on my hips, and he looked away, knowing the answer.

Lazarus and I have both had difficulty following the traditional expectations of Judaism. We sensed change was coming. We both loved and respected our Jewish faith, but we wanted more—more of God, to be closer to Him. Accepting such a distant and regimented relationship with our Lord was hard for me, when it felt like He should live inside me. I desired a closeness that I couldn’t find a way to get. Women in my culture were limited to accessing and studying the Torah, which was why I was always venturing out to hear and learn more.
Lazarus wasn’t telling me anything I hadn’t heard already, over and over. Just the last month, I’d woken up early to watch another sunrise. I ventured across the tops of two neighboring houses to get a better view. Apparently, while I was climbing, a stone broke loose and dropped down onto one of our neighbor’s goats, sending it into a screaming and galloping frenzy. The goat made it up the stairs into the main house, waking their newborn baby, breaking valuable pots and ruining a day’s worth of newly set goat cheese. I was in a lot of trouble.
The glaring eyes of my father never faded from my memory. I had to do all my chores and help remake the lost goat cheese for our neighbors. I even had to help Martha do extra kitchen work to get her off my back about it. Sometimes, I would worry about her more than about Father.
Mother would give me the You Are the Pearl of the Family talk, then Martha would start teaching me all over again about what it means to be a woman. She informed me repeatedly that I am a priest’s wife in training.
I wanted to be what I was supposed to be, but I could never contain my desire for more, no matter how hard I tried.
“I’ll go home alone, Lazarus. You know I want to do what is right. I will sit Mother down and tell her I wandered off again, against her wishes, and apologize.” Quickly, I headed toward the back of our house, hoping that was enough, but it wasn’t.
He shouted after me, “You have to tell her about the snake, Mary! The whole village is going to be talking about it, and you will not lie!”
He was right. I had no way of leaving that out. I had to tell mother everything.

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