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The Other Half of Me

By Angela Pisaturo

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ONE



Sofia was called into the doctor’s lounge. It was her last day before her leave of absence began. Sofia had around the clock nursing care for her mother up until now. Starting tomorrow she would be the sole caregiver. She needed to be with the woman who loved her as if she was her own; the one who raised her to be an independent woman. She owed her that much. When she entered the lounge, the lights went on and everyone yelled ‘surprise!’” In front of her, on the table was a beautiful cake that read, “We’ll miss you.”

Sofia clutched her heart. “Thank you all so much!”

“We’re sorry about your mom.” One of the nursing staff said.

“Again, thank you all for your support. She’s nearing the end of her life, and I want to be with her.” Sofia’s voice cracked as she spoke.

“We understand.” Doctor O’Malley said.

“I hate to take this leave of absence, but you can keep in touch if you have any questions.”

“Do you have an idea as to her time?” Doctor O’Malley asked.

“I believe it will be within the next three weeks. But we know we can’t always calculate these things to the minute.”

“Well, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.” Doctor O’Malley said. He would be filling in for Sofia while she was gone.

“You all will be in good hands with Doctor O’Malley. Thanks again for the cake and well wishes.” Then Sofia walked out of the lounge and back to her office to get her things and make her way home.



**********


From her bed, Sophia’s mother pointed to the top shelf of the closet, as she labored to take her next breath. "Please, it's up there." She said with a raspy voice. As she took another breathed in the oxygen from the oxygen tube.

Sophia rushed to the closet and shifted through different items, moving them from the back on the shelf to the front, until her mother nodded to indicate which item she wanted; a dusty wooden box, weather-beaten and falling apart.

Sophia's mother fumbled to open the box, then Sophia stepped in to help. As Sophia took items out of the box, a curious journal that was tucked behind a bunch of old photos, fell to the floor. Sophia picked it up and placed them on the bed.

"Open it, open it." Her mother gasped her chest, heaving. Sophia turned the antique key to open the lock of the journal. There, tucked into the middle of the journal, on a page that was dated March 18, 1982, rested two age-worn certificates underneath a folded letter. Sophia took the letter and papers from the box and handed them to her mother. The woman took a glance at them, making sure this was what she wanted. With trembling hands, she gave the papers back to Sophia. She flattened the papers out and began to read them.

On this day, March 18th, 1982 I hereby declare Sophia Montrose, legal daughter of Michael and Willow Lynwood. I hereby declare Sonja Montrose, remaining twin, a ward of West Virginia signed this day, by Judge George Abraham Calhoun, District Court of West Virginia.

Sophia’s eyes fixated on the words, the remaining twin. She gasped with every breath she took, as she spoke to her mother. “You mean I have a twin? I always suspected I had a sister. I think I can remember those early days with her, but I didn’t connect that she was my twin sister.” Sophia’s tone changed as she realized her sister was left behind in God knows what conditions. Her eyes narrowed. “Why didn’t you adopt her too – you certainly could afford it?”

Her mother’s eyes sparkled with tears. Sophia realized she had hurt her mother deeply. The woman had always been a loving parent and her father had always cheered her on in all her endeavors. In fact, Sophia felt they were the reason she was able to pursue a career in medicine.

Sophia cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, Mother. It’s just such a shock.”

For a moment, the silence was deafening and then her mother whispered, “Please forgive us for not telling you about her.”

“Why the mystery about her, Mother?” Sophia shrugged, confused.

“Your adoption was a difficult one. You see, your biological mother found out about the adoption and started to create problems for us.”

“How so, if she was an addict and not capable to raise children?”

Sophia’s mother reached for a glass of water and using a bent straw, took a sip before continuing. “She always thought that she’d clean up her act, but after her last relapse with drugs, that ended in an armed robbery; she gave up her rights to you girls reluctantly after the lawyer convinced her, saying that she should want a better life for the two of you.” The dying woman tried to catch her breath. She took several sips of water to compose herself. Sophia sat her up in the bed and held the glass of water for her.

Sophia’s mother could hardly breathe. Sophia gave her one of her heart pills and another drink of water. “I’m sorry I upset you, Mother. Rest now.” Sophia placed her mother’s head gently back on the soft pillow and then she left the room. She would check on her later.

A million thoughts raced through her head. How could they have done this? What would prompt such a wealthy and giving family to only take one twin? Maybe there was something wrong with her twin? What other explanation could there be?

Sophia went downstairs and busied herself with her studies in gene therapy – a class she was taking to further her medical career and to keep abreast of the latest techniques, although since Mother had become ill, she hadn’t had much desire for anything, except tending to her needs.

Sophia was emotionally and physically exhausted. She put the book down and closed her eyes, only intending to rest for a moment, but she fell asleep in the soft cushioned wing chair in the parlor. She did not awake until early morning when the sun rose over the garden and shone brightly on the parlor curtains. The warmth of the sun on her face caused her to wake up quite startled and confused, wondering how she could still be seating in that chair.

Sophia stretched, then glanced at the time on the old grandfather clock. How did I sleep here all night? I must truly be exhausted, she told herself.

Then Sophia went upstairs to check on her mother, who was wide awake. “What are you doing up so early, Mother? Are you feeling poorly today?” Sophia fluffed up her mother’s pillows. Then her mother motioned for her to sit on the edge of the bed next to her.

“I want to finish what l was telling you.” The woman said in a weak voice. “Your sister had anemia when we met her. She was quite frail. I wanted her, but since I had lost several babies at birth, your father was afraid I’d be unable to handle another sickly child.” She coughed and reached out to squeeze her daughter’s arm.

“I guess I can understand that. Is is...she still alive, Mother?” Sophia managed to ask, as tears fell down her cheeks.

“I don’t know, Sophia. Everything you need to know is in this box. Maybe it will help you find her.”

Sophia picked up the box, and as she did, her mother let out a labored sigh. The woman lay still and lifeless. Sophia tossed the box aside and lifted her mother's head. "Mother. Mother! Wake up!" Sophia cried out but to no avail.

Sophia held her mother in her arms a little while longer. Why did I have to press her so on this adoption issue? Then her medical side took over, the voice of reason. Sophia, get a grip. You knew it was only a matter of time before her weak heart would give way. “Goodbye, Mama. You were the best mother for me.”

After laying her mother down carefully, she left the room, closing the door behind her and proceeded to call family members and friends to tell them about her mother’s death.



++++++++++


Four days later, Sophia buried her mother. Father Finlay conducted the burial. He was the Pastor of the Catholic Church Sophia’s mother attended. Sophia had no need for what she believed to be superstitious ancient practices that had no bearing on scientific truth. But this ritual was her mother’s dying request and no fair-minded person would deny the last wish of a loved one.

As Sophia stood in the field, muddied from the pelting rain, listening to Father Finlay’s prayer, flashbacks of a conversation she had with her mother only weeks before came to mind.

“Sophia, be a darling and get my rosary beads, will you?” Mother said as she struggled to prop herself up in bed.

Sophia brought over the rosary beads and then helped her mother get settled in her bed. “Mother, is it so necessary that you say these prayers right now given the condition you are in?” Apparently, her mother had detected a tone of annoyance in her daughter’s voice, and in a calm and loving manner, as she was prone to do by her nature, she said, “Sophia, it gives me strength and comfort. I do so wish you would give faith a chance again. You loved God once. Don’t you remember?”

“That was before I—.” Then in an instant, Sophia had felt as if a huge frog lodged itself in her throat that stopped her from continuing her answer.

“Before you what, Darling?” Her mother already knew the answer, but now was forcing Sophia to say it out loud. She believed talking about things helped. Sophia, on the other hand, believed it a waste of time. However, at that moment, watching her mother fingering the beads of the Rosary, she broke down.

“Okay, do you really want me to say it out loud? That was before I prayed for Father to get well and it wasn’t answered, and that was before I asked God to protect my fiancé, James, as he served his country and that wasn’t answered.” Now Sophia had lost all sense of self-control, something she hated doing, so she had left the room in a huff, going back to her own room and having a good cry. Sophia and her mother never spoke of that moment again.


++++++++++

Sophia had taken care of all the loose ends of her mother’s affairs. She still had three weeks left for her leave of absence. She would use it to find her twin sister. Now, given this extra time off work, her only course of action would be to locate her sister, Sonja. She must find for her for sanity’s sake. Heaven help her if she found out Sonja had also passed on.

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