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A Secret of the Heart

By JEB Spredemann

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CHAPTER ONE


Lillianna’s eyes brightened as Carolanne approached her near the back door of Carolanne’s folks’ home. Carolanne’s blue eyes reflected the cobalt of her newly-sewn cape dress.
“I can’t believe you’re married now!” Lillianna embraced her friend.
“I know. Isn’t Samuel the handsomest bu you’ve ever seen?” Carolanne positively glowed.
Lillianna searched the room full of guests, mostly from their church district, to locate Carolanne’s husband of one hour. Her gaze surveyed his well-defined physique, obvious to anyone, even through his blue button-down and suspenders, and landed on his seemingly happy countenance.
Was there more to Samuel Beachy than what met the eye? Lillianna was certain of it. Why would this man just show up out of the blue to snatch away her best friend? Of course, she knew that Carolanne had been corresponding by letter with him over the last year and that they’d enjoyed a few buggy rides together last fall. But that didn’t explain his sudden reappearance. It was almost as though he were running away from something…or someone?
Lillianna dismissed her suspicions and brought her attention back to Carolanne. She wouldn’t voice her concerns again. Carolanne was a grown woman capable of making her own intelligent choices.
Samuel turned and motioned for Carolanne to come near.
Carolanne squeezed Lillianna’s hand. “Well, I better go. Seems Samuel wants to introduce me to someone.”
Lillianna returned her friend’s smile and watched as Carolanne flittered off to be by her husband’s side.
Lillianna stepped outside the building for a breath of fresh air.
“Hey, Lillianna.”
Lillianna turned and offered a brief smile to Marcus Yoder.
“You comin’ to the gatherin’ tonight after supper?”
Lillianna shook her head. “I don’t think so, Marcus.”
Marcus didn’t mask his disappointment well. “Oh. Why not?”
It seemed like he’d been interested in Lillianna for a few months now. This wasn’t the first time he’d shown his interest. “I’m feeling a little tired.”
“I could give you a ride home,” Marcus offered.
“Uh, no.” Lillianna scanned the area, desperate for an acceptable excuse. She spotted the buggies parked out in the field. “I appreciate the offer, but I need to drive my own buggy home.”
Marcus scratched his head as though thinking of a way he could spend more time with her.
“I’ll see you later, Marcus.” Lillianna abruptly walked away before he suggested something else. If she allowed him to, Marcus would jabber on for who knows how long. Lillianna glanced back to be certain her wannabe suitor hadn’t followed, and released a relieved sigh when Marcus was sighted walking back into the house.
How am I going to get him to realize I’m not interested? She thought after two rejections that Marcus would get the hint, but no. He persisted. Lillianna couldn’t find a good reason to not like him. He was nice enough and not too bad for looking.
He just wasn’t…well, he wasn’t Tommy.
Thomas Girod. Lillianna hadn’t seen him in a long time, not since her family had moved away from Pennsylvania seven years ago. In their Amish district, the boys and girls were discouraged from playing together, but it hadn’t stopped Thomas and Lillianna.
Lillianna closed her eyes, recalling the many Saturday afternoons they’d spent fishing at the stream just beyond her childhood home. Fishing was a good excuse to see her neighbor, Thomas, who had quickly become her best friend, in spite of the fact that he was a boy and three years her senior.
“Don’t forget me, Lil,” Tommy said as he placed a kiss smack dab on her lips.
Lillianna’s cheeks flushed furiously. “Thomas Girod, you…you kissed me?” Lillianna always thought Tommy would give her her first kiss someday. But now? At twelve years old? This was totally unexpected.
“I mean it, Lil. Don’t forget me.” Thomas reached up and moved a strand of hair that had fallen onto her forehead. “Ever.”
She’d never seen Tommy this serious. He really would miss her when her family moved away. “I won’t,” she promised.
Thomas settled back onto the rock he’d been fishing from and picked up his pole again. They continued fishing as though the kiss had never happened, as though their lives weren’t forever changed from that moment on.
That was the last time they’d ever gone to the stream together, and Lillianna had never forgotten Thomas or his kiss. She’d give anything to see or hear from Tommy now. The last two letters she’d written to him, nearly three years ago, had been returned to her marked ‘Return to Sender’. She often wondered where he was, and what he was doing. Did he still live in Pennsylvania? Had he gotten married? Was he still alive? Lillianna hated to consider the antithesis to that last possibility.
When Lillianna opened her eyes, she realized the horse had already pulled into her driveway. Had she really been daydreaming that long? She chided herself for not paying better attention to the road. It was a good thing Sunshine was well-trained. Dat would have scolded her for certain, if he knew.
I miss you, Tommy, wherever you are.

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“Lilly, aren’t you going back over to Carolanne’s for the gathering?” Judith Zook called to her daughter from the kitchen.
Lillianna frowned. “Nee, Mamm. I’m working on my quilt.” She leaned over the quilting frame and weaved a few more stitches into the colorful fabric.
“Would you like some help? My fingers are just aching to do some quilting.”
Lillianna smiled. “Be my guest.”
“It wonders me why you’re not joining the young folks. Seems to me like it would be a gut opportunity to meet some new friends.”
“I know. It’s just that…Mamm, have you heard any news lately from our friends in Pennsylvania?” Lillianna attempted not to sound too obvious. “I often wonder how everyone is doing over in Bishop Mast’s district.”
Judith shook her head. “Haven’t heard much since that accident the Girods had a few years back.”
Lillianna’s pulse quickened. “Accident? I never heard about an accident. What happened?”
“I was almost certain I’d told all of you.” Judith stuck the thimble on her finger. “Noah and Keturah were driving home from meeting and were caught in a flash flood. They both drowned.” She frowned. “Fortunately, the kinner weren’t feeling well and had stayed home with the oldest. It wonders me if sickness isn’t a blessing sometimes.”
“Ach, no, that’s terrible! What happened to the kinner? Did they move to a relative’s house?”
“I’m not sure. I’d heard that one of the older children was planning to get married.” She tapped her chin. “Thomas, I think. Maybe he and his wife took the kinner in.”
Lillianna’s heart sank. Thomas is married? That must be why he’d stopped writing. I wish he would have at least told me. She felt a tear forming and abruptly stood up from her chair. “I-I need to go to the bathroom.” Lillianna quickly rushed out of the room.
No. God, please don’t let Thomas be married.
It seemed the older she became, the more aware of her age she was. Carolanne’s sudden wedding had thrown her for a loop. Now that her best friend was married, they wouldn’t have as much time together. Lillianna felt lost, and a little lonely, she admitted. If only there was a way she could see Thomas again, then she’d know for sure whether he was married or not. Carolanne had been a great friend since her family moved to Ohio, but their friendship never rivaled the close companionship she and Thomas had once shared.
Where are you, Tommy?

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