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The Quandary

By Miles Gregory

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Excerpt: Bryian had just arrived home from work. He found his father standing on the top of a wobbly step ladder. "What are you doing Dad?" "I thought any idiot could see that I'm trying to fix this light at the top of the stairs!" "There is no reason to be so gruff! I was just asking a simple question." "What are you doing here so early?" "I left work a few minutes early. I thought maybe we could go into town and get a pizza. We could take it to the park for a picnic." "Are you kidding? I can't afford to do anything that extravagant! Besides, I'm too busy working with this light." "I was going to ask you about that. I thought we agreed to let a professional handle our home repairs." "We did. But, for some reason, Melvin didn't want to work on our electric light." "Maybe you should call an electrician." Mr. Smith scowled at Bryian. "I've heard enough of your harebrained ideas! When I was in school, I learned all about electricity in shop class. I liked working on old cars. I know everything I need to know. The black wire is always the ground wire. The red wire is always the hot wire." "I understand what you're saying Dad. But I was wondering, what is the white wire for?" "White wire..." Mr. Smith looked confused. "I'm not sure." "What are you supposed to do with the bare copper wire?" "I don't think it's important. I was going to cut it off. If it was important it would have had insulation on it." "No Dad. I don't think that's a good idea. I think the bare wire is the ground wire." "If that's the case, I should be able to just connect it to the black wire. That will save time." "No Dad I don't think you should do that." "I have a master's degree. That means I should be smart enough to hook up a light." "Your degree is in criminal justice and the law. I don't think that qualifies you to be an electrician. Why don't you test the wire to make sure which is which." "I don't have a tester. I thought that would be a needless expenditure. After all, you can tell if there is electricity if the light works." "Did you turn off the power?" "No Bryian. My grandfather worked on wiring all the time. He never turned the power off. I don't see any reason for me to do that. He told me to just hold the wire in your hand. If you felt a little tingle, that was the hot wire." "Won't you get shocked?" "He never seemed to." Mr. Smith held the white wire in his hand. "See... I don't feel anything at all. Maybe this white wire isn't even hooked up. I'm sure that's what the problem is. Now why don't you get out of here and leave me alone?" "I wanted to spend the evening with you." "I swear. When I need you, I can't find you. The rest of the time, you are always underfoot. Now let's see what happens when I grab a hold of this black wire with my other hand. AHHH!!!" Mr. Smith flew off of the top of the stepladder. He gracefully flew down the flight of steps headfirst. He landed with a thud! "Dad... Dad, are you alright?"

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