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Broken Web

By Patricia Snelling

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When Belle closed her eyes, she could see a lush farmlet with a nostalgic looking white homestead covered in Jasmine. This colonial farmhouse built in Hinuera stone, was a real original. The cosy home had eight bedrooms which opened out onto a large veranda, and a large well equipped farmhouse kitchen. A perfect set up for a holistic retreat. She had described this perfectly in her journal.
The small lake, which was abound with ducks and geese, was surrounded by huge willow trees and long park benches, strategically placed. Over the shallow river was a little arched wooden bridge, abundantly covered with climbing roses.
Tall kowhai trees covered in bright yellow flowers lined the pathway around the lake. It was so picturesque and peaceful. The perfect spot for the people coming to the retreat to heal. This retreat would be a rural sanctuary for people who are convalescing, in need of a peaceful, uplifting and supportive environment, to aid their healing back to full health. It would become a community, a well-known and sought after community.
Her vision began to manifest when she least expected it.
Belle had been a member of the Outdoor Pursuits Club in Avonleigh for several years, and loved getting away from hectic city life with the group for weekends, especially the long weekends.
She never felt so alive until she was out at sea in her kayak, with the warm breeze in her face and salt air filling her lungs. Or on the hikes through the abundant native forests, smelling the sweetness that emanated from the forest floor. This was when she felt closest to God. This weekend was a four day public holiday, and she was off to Randle’s Cove near Winton Abbot. Her club was meeting with the club from Winton Abbot this time, a two hour’s drive from Avonleigh.
Off she went with her bright red kayak on her roof-rack. Her kind old neighbour Milly always took care of her faithful cat Mitsy when she went away, so she could relax.
Belle enjoyed being with this group, except for their drinking sessions when they started up in the evenings. The atmosphere made her feel uncomfortable. She observed that the more alcohol they consumed, the louder their raucous laughter and the nonsense they talked.
The first night at the lodge, weary from the drive down, she looked for a quiet spot where she could sit out on the deck over-looking the sea. She sat with a bottle of her ice cold home brewed ginger beer, listening to the wood pigeons and bellbirds and watching the sun go down. The impressive orange ball sank slowly below the horizon.
This particular year, there was a shy looking man she had not seen before. He appeared quiet and reserved, and did not tuck into the alcohol like the others.
The following day, after being given their packed lunches for the trip, Belle headed off on the hike. They were off to see the famous Fairy Falls Grove. This was an uphill hike, quite a challenge for Belle, who had some difficulty with climbing as a result of having Polio as a child. It was the breathing that got her mostly.
She wasn’t going to let that hold her back, though she needed to stop and sit on a rock at regular intervals to regain her strength. ‘Can I share this hard seat with you and look at the view?’ Said a gentle male voice from behind.
‘Of course, be my guest.’ Belle replied. ‘I’ll take a while to catch the others up, although our leader will not let me out of her sight.’
‘I can walk with you if you like.’ Milton replied. ‘I don’t believe in this racing from start to finish as fast as possible, without taking in the breath-taking views, or watching the amazing birds.’
‘You’re right. We should be enjoying and admiring the beautiful forests and wildlife, as well as the tranquillity. That’s why I come to these places.’
‘I totally agree. I don’t see the point. It’s another thing that annoys me about these groups. The other is that too much drinking of alcohol goes on at night.’ Milton said indignantly.
‘We had better catch up to the others. They are probably waiting for us further up.’ Belle said adjusting her pack on her shoulders.
I can walk with you if you like for the rest of the weekend. Are you keen to do some abseiling? Milton asked leading the way through the bush path.’
‘I have only done it once on a smaller climb. I’m not sure... I think I’ll wait till we get to the top to see how high it is.’
They followed the path next to the gushing waterfall, which became more spectacular the higher they climbed. The white foam glistened in the dazzling sunlight. On both sides of the waterfall was a native rain forest, with huge stately kauri trees hovering over the pathway. Brightly-coloured parrots flocked to the trees for the seeds.
As they approached the group to join them at the top, some were already unpacking their abseiling gear.
‘I thought we were stopping for lunch first.’ Belle mumbled so that the leader could hear.
‘That’s right Belle, we are stopping here for lunch.
We can rest over there under the trees on that flat piece of ground.’ The leader replied.
‘Thank goodness for that!’ said Belle as she removed her jacket.
‘I have told the group that those who want to, can start abseiling with Mike our experienced climber, who will be in charge of that group. I will be with the ones who stay back for lunch. I need names now.’ The leader got out her clip board.
‘That’s good, I’ll stick by Milton. I hear he is an experienced climber also.’ Belle winked and grinned.
After a few hours of sitting around eating, swimming and taking in the awesome views, they all started to descend.
‘Would you like me to help you get your harness on correctly. I’ll show you what to do.’ Milton appeared to be protective towards Belle, sensing her trepidation.
‘I’ll go down next to you. We have two ropes and the others are mostly going down in twos.’
They arrived safely below and Belle felt a huge sense of gratitude for the help this man gave her. He seemed different from the rest. She had been on her own for several years, and not met a man she could trust or respect.
The few men she had dated, were insincere and disrespectful, or they had ulterior motives. She had given up hope of ever meeting the right man, a kind and honest one who didn’t want to use her. All the men she had known had betrayed her trust. She had grown up with so much dysfunction in her family of origin, that the behaviour became familiar to her.
She was now on a journey of becoming a whole person, learning about healthy intimacy. It had taken her many years and much heartache to recognise the difference.
I wonder if Milton is single, Belle thought. We seem to be on the same page. Perhaps he’s a seasoned bachelor and doesn’t want commitment. Oh, don’t even go there! She berated herself. You know what your spiritual advisor said. When God sends the right man along, it will be when you least expect it.
Belle was fed up with waiting. She reminded herself that in the past, she often jumped in too quickly, with dire consequences, leaving serious wreckage in her life.
She continued to remonstrate with herself.I suppose I have got used to being on my own. I just can’t get involved again in case I attract another disaster into my life.

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