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The Morning Star Rises

By Sara Davison

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Jesse Christensen stopped in the hallway between the farmhouse living room and kitchen and drew in a deep breath. He pressed a palm to the doorframe and stuck his head into the kitchen. The lingering aroma of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, and gravy permeated the room. Comfort food that had failed to bring him any comfort that evening.
Meryn O’Reilly stood at the sink, hands immersed in soapy water, apparently trying to scrub the lining off a pot.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
She jerked and dropped the pot, sending a spray of water shooting across the front of her red shirt.
Jesse grimaced. Not a great way to start this conversation. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.”
Meryn shook the water from her hands and stalked to the stove to grab the dishtowel hanging on the handle. “I didn’t hear you coming.”
She wouldn’t have seen him either, given the way she’d studiously avoided glancing in his direction since he’d responded to her brothers’ invitation to come for dinner and shown up at her door earlier that evening. Not that he blamed her. How did a woman look at the man she’d just found out had gunned down her husband? There was no handbook for that kind of thing. Jesse pushed away from the doorframe and stepped into the room.
Meryn scrubbed at her shirt with the towel, still not looking at him. The fact that they both stood in almost the exact spots they’d been a couple of weeks earlier when she had ordered him out of her life for good had to be registering in her consciousness right about now.
Please look at me. Jesse repressed a sigh. He wasn’t any more comfortable than she was. He likely shouldn’t have come out here, but if he was going to work with her brothers, he, Shane, and Brendan had to get together. They all agreed the farm was the best place. At least here they were out of sight of the authorities, if still in range of the GPS embedded in the bracelets that identified them as believers.
Besides, Meryn wanted to be involved in any plan they devised to fight against Gallagher, who had recently been promoted to major, making him the commander of the Kingston base. Or, in his mind, king. After Gallagher had executed Jesse’s best friend and commanding officer, Caleb Donevan, and kicked Jesse out of the army at the same time, Jesse and Meryn’s family had agreed to band together to stand up to him. How did she think she could work with him if she couldn’t even look at him?
He took a tentative step closer. “So this is okay?”
“Sure.” She stopped the frenetic scrubbing and shoved the towel back over the handle. “It’s fine.”
Her trapped-animal look suggested it was anything but. “If you want me to bring Kate or Shane in here, I can.”
Meryn looked over at him. Finally.
Jesse was drawn immediately into the ocean-blue depths of her eyes. Be careful what you wish for.
“That’s not necessary. We’re both adults. I’m sure we’re capable of having a civilized conversation.” She crossed the room and sank down on a chair, pulled one knee up to her chest, and clasped her arms tightly around her leg.
Great. A civilized conversation. Just what he wanted from her. Jesse shook off the thought. He had to let go of wanting anything more than that. A pang shot through him, but he worked to keep his features even as he leaned back against the counter. “I know you told me not to come back here, but it’s the safest place for us to meet.”
“Really?” Her lips twitched slightly. “Way out in the middle of nowhere? Aren’t you just asking for trouble, coming out here?”
The muscles across his back relaxed. Was she actually joking around with him? That would make things easier. And a lot harder. “I think I’ll risk it. After all, you survived four years out here all by yourself.”
Her smile didn’t reach anywhere but her mouth, and barely there. Like a restless butterfly, landing lightly and flitting away almost immediately. “In spite of your dire predictions to the contrary.”
“Exactly.” His own lips twitched, but he couldn’t manufacture a real smile either. “Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were okay with me coming here, so we can make plans.”
She studied him for a moment, then flipped her long, dark hair back over one shoulder. “I don’t really have a choice, do I? There are things that need to be done, and we have to work together to accomplish them. You don’t always get to choose the people you’re going to work with; you just put your head down and focus on completing the task.”
Did she know how far she was pushing the blade in with every word? She’d always been able to read him, to see on his face everything he was thinking and feeling. Could she see it now, or had even that connection been severed? “So we’re co-workers.”
“Yes.” She shifted. “Is there anything else?”
“Actually, there is. I’m sure Kate told you she and Ethan offered me the use of the in-law suite in their backyard. I’m working on some other arrangements, but until those come together, I hope you don’t mind that I took them up on it.”
Meryn shrugged, as though nothing he did could possibly concern her. “You have to have a place to live. I’m glad you aren’t on the streets. Whatever you might think, I don’t want you to suffer any more than you already have.”
Then you might want to lose the nonchalance. Jesse pushed the thought away. She was hurting as much as he was. He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, trying to match her attitude with a detached one of his own. And failing miserably. His fingers closed around a hard, cold object. The silver heart she’d given him before everything between them had been smashed into pieces. He glanced at her throat. It was bare. The gold necklace he’d fastened around her neck—twice—along with the promise that she would always have his heart, was gone. Jesse pushed back his shoulders. “All right. As long as you’re okay with everything.”
The shadow that crossed her face before her guard shot back up suggested that she wasn’t as nonchalant as she was pretending to be. Hope ignited, a fragile spark dropping from flint struck against flint onto sparse tinder below.
“You didn’t change your name.”
She blinked. “What?”
“When you got married. You didn’t change your last name.”
“Oh. No, I didn’t. Like I told you, everything happened so fast. Logan and I decided we could do that when he came back and we had our big wedding.”
“Too bad. It would have saved us a lot of … confusion if you had.”
She exhaled. “I know.”
Jesse pulled his hands from his pockets and gripped the edges of the counter on either side of him as he studied her. She looked thinner and there were shadows under her eyes. Was she all right? He bit his tongue to keep from asking. Of course she wasn’t all right. She was a widow, thanks to him, and in mourning. Did she grieve the loss of him a little, or were her thoughts only for her husband? He cleared his throat. “If we’re going to work together, it would be great if it wasn’t awkward for everyone. Do you think we could be friends, at least?” He almost choked over the word.
“We could try.” Her voice softened slightly.
That would have to do. For now. Her feigned disinterest seemed to be gone anyway.
God, let it be feigned.
Otherwise the hope he clung to would extinguish quickly, leaving nothing but a curling tendril of smoke in its wake. His gaze settled on her mouth. A rush of longing poured through him. If things had gone according to his plan, they’d be married by now. Jesse clenched his jaw. Don’t go there. None of this was his plan; it was God’s plan. Which meant it had to be better. Something Jesse was sure he’d come to see. Eventually.
Meryn lowered her foot to the floor. “It’s almost curfew. You should go.”
He lifted his eyes quickly. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
She stood and headed for the hallway as if she had been released from a cage.
When she reached him, Jesse touched her elbow. He’d told her once that she didn’t feel like glass, all hard and cold. Now, with every muscle in her body tense, that’s exactly how she felt.
She stopped but didn’t turn in his direction.
“I really am sorry, Meryn. More sorry than I can say.”
“I know you are.” Her gaze dropped to his fingers, still resting on her arm. “Are we through here?”
Jesse pulled back his hand. “I guess so.” For several seconds, all he could do was stare at the doorway where she had disappeared.

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