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After September

By Stephanie Smith

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Rose Davis pushed her grocery cart toward the candy aisle and rolled her eyes. Boxes of chocolate and stuffed animals were on display in the shape of a heart. A celebration for Valentine's Day mocked her singleness.

Turning down the aisle, she froze. At the other end stood the man she once vowed to God she would spend eternity with. Heart beating in double time, she stared at Craig. He held Sharon's hand, his new bride and supposed soul mate half his age. List forgotten, her stomach turned to knots. Unable to turn away, she stood transfixed and continued to watch the striking couple. He handed a foil wrapped chocolate flower to Sharon, who laughed in delight before kissing him soundly on the lips. Rose couldn't help but notice her ex-husband looked more carefree than she'd seen in too many years to count.

The irony she would see the newlyweds for the first time on Valentine's Day did not escape her mind. The realization had her gripping the cart handle, knuckles white. Although Portland was a large city, she knew their paths were bound to cross at some point. She never expected it to be on a stupid holiday designed for lovers.

Anger soon replaced her shock. It took all her willpower not to march up to him and wipe the goofy grin off his face. Maybe it would alleviate the vice wrapped tight around her chest, but a lifetime of manners instilled by her patrician mother required she maintain a level of decorum. Instead, she turned the cart around and in the process knocked over the display of chocolates.

Mortified, she stopped dead in her tracks as Craig and Sharon looked toward the commotion. Other shoppers stopped to stare while a clerk rushed over to make sure she was all right. Cheeks flaming, she brushed his hand away, assuring him she wasn't hurt.

At least not physically.

Emotionally, she was humiliated. She wanted to crawl under a rock when recognition registered in Craig's eyes and he made his way over, Sharon in tow. Too late for an escape, she straightened her spine and braced for the inevitable.

"Rosie? Are you okay?" His clear blue eyes bore into hers.

Her jaw clenched. He lost the right to use a nickname or be concerned about her welfare the moment he left. "I'm fine," she replied. "I hear congratulations are in order." She tried to keep her tone even.

Sharon grabbed his arm and squealed, the huge diamond on her finger twinkling like a star in the night. "Our first Valentine's as a married couple. Isn't it wonderful?" she declared, unaware of the tension hovering thick in the air.

At least Craig had the decency to cringe. He cleared his throat and patted his wife's arm. "Now, honey. I'm sure Rose has better things to do than hear about us," he admonished and she blanched.

What had Sharon expected her to do -- throw confetti? Holding back a reply, she looked at her gold watch, a gift from Craig and the kids for her fortieth birthday. A lifetime ago. "My, look at the time. I'm late for an appointment. It was a pleasure." She failed to hide her sarcasm and no longer cared. Nerves near the breaking point, she needed to leave before causing a scene.

His eyes widened. "Oh. Well, goodbye..."

Not wanting to respond, she turned the cart. Mindful of the display, she kept her head held high while she looked for an open checkout lane.

She seethed with anger over the encounter the entire ride home. How could Sharon be so insensitive as to flaunt their relationship in front of her? Had she been waiting all along for the chance to gloat? Based on the vacant glow in her eyes, Rose had to believe she'd been oblivious.

She chastised herself, wondering if she could have handled the situation better. How else could she have prepared herself to see the picture perfect couple? Tall and distinguished, Craig wore his Tom Ford suit with perfection. The same suit she had chosen for a black tie dinner the year before. Then there was Sharon, near eye level to him in her studded Louboutin's and elegant black dress. Dior, if her keen eye was on the mark.

The knot in her stomach tightened. Tears of frustration fell down her cheeks as she pulled in to the driveway of the custom home she and Craig had spent the last decade of their lives together, and choked back a sob.

Why God? Why did he cheat? What did I do to deserve this?

She didn't expect an answer. Before the divorce was final, she confided in a few women at church -- women she admired -- only to have them insinuate she must have done something wrong for her husband to stray. Their conclusion angered Rose. She was a good person. She'd gone to church most Sundays and volunteered in her community. Not knowing what else God expected from her, she stopped attending church altogether after that.

Once she got a hold of herself, she took a deep breath and exhaled. She went into the house and dropped the grocery bags onto the granite countertop. After witnessing how content Craig was with Sharon, it made her wonder how long into their nearly twenty-four-year marriage had it been before he became dissatisfied. Was it while she stayed home and raised their two children? Or was it after his political career took off as she campaigned right beside him? All she knew was she'd given him the best years of her life and it hadn't been enough.

While putting the groceries away, she couldn't help recall the fateful day Craig announced he was leaving. A rare warm April day, she'd been tending to the garden and was busy rinsing her hands in the sink when he surprised her by walking in to the mudroom. Leaning against the washing machine, he'd run a finger through his silver tinted hair and declared he wanted a divorce. She had tried to comprehend his words as the blood rushed to her head, making her lightheaded. Not a separation. Divorce. The word echoed in her mind until it no longer made sense. Unable to speak, she'd stood in front of the sink, fingers numb as water washed over them. Her silence must have been the encouragement he'd needed to continue.

He looked her straight in the eye and said, "I fell in love, Rosie." His proclamation held no apology. "What can I say? Sharon makes me believe I can conquer the world." He hadn't even tried to hide his pleasure.

Jerk.

In the days and weeks to come, Rose was foolish enough to believe she could save their marriage. She begged him to stay and suggested they go to their pastor for counseling. When he refused, she joined a gym and began taking spin classes to get back in shape. She even chopped off her long brown mane into a sun-kissed blonde bob, assured by the stylist she looked a decade younger. In the end, none of it made a difference. Craig still left and she was still bitter.

She supposed the generous settlement in the divorce was a way to assuage his guilt. As if money would make up for his cheating ways. Almost a year later, she remained stuck in place while life moved on for everyone else around her. Sitting at the table, she sorted the mail when a postcard caught her attention from a friend vacationing in Hawaii. As she stared at the tropical scene, a thought struck her. What was keeping her here? She didn't work and both kids were away at college. Maybe a change of pace would do her good. The sooner she got out of Portland the better. Anything to avoid another encounter with the latest, brightest political star on the fast track to Washington, DC and his Barbie bride. For the first time since the divorce, she became hopeful and set out to put a plan into motion.

*****

"You did what?" Rose's daughter Emily exclaimed over the phone. She'd already told Andrew, her youngest, who was away at UCLA. A free spirit at heart, he supported the decision. She hadn’t been sure Emily would be as understanding.

"I've sold everything and will be spending the summer in Saint Croix," she repeated with surprising calm. In the three months since she'd made the decision, Rose moved ahead, never looking back. In fact, everything happened so fast she couldn't deny it was divine intervention. First, she found a local realtor, and after they staged the house, held an open house. A couple relocating from England fell in love, overjoyed it would be a perfect fit for their growing family.

The same realtor who sold the house referred her to Wendy Simpson, a realtor in Christiansted. They exchanged e-mails and hit it off, becoming fast friends. Just when Rose felt like nothing would come up, Wendy was a miracle worker and found a cottage by the sea. She gave Rose the pros of purchasing as a rental property. She assured her there shouldn't be a problem hiring a management company and renting it out once she returned to Portland. Based on the pictures and virtual tour, Rose didn’t doubt it. Taking the plunge, she put in an offer on the cottage and it was accepted.

"Em, honey. I know you're surprised. Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier," she admitted.

Emily snorted on the other end. "You think, Mom? You never do stuff spur of the moment. What made you do something this drastic?"

Should she explain the meltdown after seeing Craig and Sharon together? Her daughter was still adjusting to the divorce and his subsequent remarriage. In the end, she decided to be honest. "I need a change, honey. That's what it comes down to," she answered and paced the bedroom floor. "You don't know how hard it's been for me this past year, surrounded by memories of happier times. It'd be different if you or your brother was here, but I'm all alone." She'd become suffocated in the massive house. Every inch of space a reminder of her old life and what it represented. Wealth. Status. Respect.

Comfort.

"Oh, Mom. I know it's been hard," Emily sighed. "I never even thought about you in the house, all alone."

Rose sat on the edge of the bed and dropped her head, guilty for the melodrama. "It'll be okay," she rushed to answer. "After all, I'll be on a tropical island all summer." With forced cheerfulness, she filled Emily in on the details.

"Well, if you think it'll help." Doubt etched her response.

She understood her daughter's uncertainty. She was never one to do things spur of the moment. She'd always been practical and preferred stability over thrills. Except the divorce taught her stability can be knocked off its foundation, and practicality went out the window when life got turned upside down.

"Yes, honey I do. I've been floating along aimless since your father left. I need to decide what to do with my life."

An entire summer alone on a tropical island would give her plenty of time to ponder her future. Although she would have preferred having the kids come with her. With Emily preparing to study abroad in Spain, and Andrew taking summer courses it wasn't possible. They chatted a few minutes longer before she had to leave for class. Rose hung up and sighed in relief. With the kids' blessing, a weight lifted off her shoulders.

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