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Where's Stephanie?: A Story of Love, Faith, and Courage

By Lenora Livingston

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Chapter 1
The Ultimate Sacrifice
In 1982, on a brisk afternoon in early December, a 1973 Cougar pulled into the driveway of a middle-income, ranch-style suburban home near Greenville, South Carolina. The well-maintained home was nestled among dogwoods and towering pines. At the corners of the house, an abundance of pink sasanquas had already emerged from their buds for the season, and a large bed of freshly planted and mulched golden chrysanthemums embraced both sides of the front steps.
Twenty-two-year-old, handsome, lean, and athletic Ian McKinney hopped out of the car and walked toward the front door. He was greeted with a big hug from his mother, Anna Weber, and her faithful dog, Leighroi. Anna, a tall, attractive, middle-school social studies teacher, was in her early forties.
Ian joined his mother in the kitchen part of her great room, where she poured them both a tall glass of iced tea and then handed Ian his. He sipped, saying, “Mom, you sure make the best iced tea.”
“Thanks,” she responded with a smile. “You always say that.” Sensing something was wrong, she asked, “Now, what brings you here? You live too far away to just drop by.”
“I have a problem,” he said hesitantly.
What could be that bad, Anna wondered. Just two weeks earlier Ian and Shari Adams had announced their engagement. Shari was a lovely, young woman, who definitely met Anna’s seal of approval. Hesitantly, she asked him, “Is everything okay with you and Shari?”
“Yes, Shari and I couldn’t be any happier,” Ian responded. Then taking a deep breath and shrugging his shoulders, he said, “Mom, I just don’t know how to start.”
Anna calmly told him, “Then, just spit it out.”
Ian took another deep breath and confided, “Something happened that shouldn’t have, and a girl I dated this past summer is pregnant.”
Anna was totally unprepared for this. She quietly digested Ian’s words. The seriousness of the situation was overwhelming. The excitement of the past two weeks with joyful visions of Ian’s upcoming wedding had just collided with her fears of what might happen to her first grandchild.
“Mom, I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you about this,” Ian said apologetically.
“No, I’m glad you did,” Anna reassured him, while still trying to collect her thoughts. “Who’s the young woman?”
“Tara Harper,” Ian responded. “You taught her when she was in middle school.”
“Tara Harper! I remember her well. She was a good student, a beautiful and delightful girl.” Then as Anna started to relax, she added “I wish I could be happy about this. Hearing that I’m going to be a grandmother for the first time should be a joyful occasion. There’s been a huge void in my life since your sister Wendy died. But having a baby around, a new life…”
Ian explained, “Mom, I really loved Tara and I still love her, but I don’t love her the way I love Shari.
“Ian, I’m not concerned about what caused your problem. I’m concerned about what to do about it,” Anna stated firmly. “What are your options? Can you get Shari to put off your wedding long enough for you to marry Tara so she can keep your baby, don’t consummate your marriage, then get an annulment and marry Shari?”
“Mom, I can’t tell Shari I’ve gotten another woman pregnant!” Ian stated firmly.
Fearful that if Ian didn’t marry Tara, her grandchild could either be aborted or placed for adoption, Anna retorted, “But you can’t leave Tara in the lurch!”
She explained to Ian his options. Abortion was out of the question. She was highly opposed to the use of abortion as a form of birth control. Having a child out of wedlock was absolutely scandalous. If he didn’t marry Tara, he would put her in the position of raising an illegitimate child with all the stigmas attached. Both Tara and his child would be shunned and publicly ridiculed. That would negatively affect both Tara and their child for the rest of their lives. When it came to adoption, she knew there was an extreme shortage of adoptable babies ever since the Supreme Court’s decision of Roe V. Wade legalized abortion. There were a lot of good families who would love to adopt Ian’s baby. She boldly told Ian, “Adoption is an option, but this is our flesh and blood we’re talking about. I want this baby to be a part of our lives!”
“I don’t know what to do,” Ian responded, feeling worse than he had before their conversation began.
Knowing that the final decision would be Ian’s, Anna calmly advised him, “You have to do what’s best for all concerned, including the baby. Whatever decision you make now, has to be something you can live with the rest of your life.”

After a week or so had passed, Anna assumed no news was good news. But her complacency was interrupted one night by a phone call from a friend, who told her that Ian had visited him earlier in the day asking to borrow money for an abortion. Anna was extremely relieved when her friend told her that he did not give Ian the money.
She immediately called Ian and angrily told him, “Gene just called and said you tried to borrow money from him for an abortion.”
“Yeah, but he didn’t give it to me,” Ian said defensively.
“Does that mean Tara’s not going to have an abortion? Or did you get the money from somewhere else?” she asked.
He responded, “She’s still having the abortion. I don’t know where she got the money for it, but it wasn’t from me.”
“That’s not the point!” Anna demanded, “You’ve got to stop the abortion!”
“I can’t. Tara’s terrified that her parents might find out she’s pregnant,” he argued.
“I’ve already lost my daughter and I don’t want to lose my grandchild too!” Anna said. She thought about telling him about the miscarriage she had had after his sister died, but that was one quiet pain she would continue to keep to herself.
Ian told her it was too late to stop the abortion, that Tara was scheduled for the first appointment when the doctor’s office opened at ten o’clock the next morning. Anna reminded him that he would have to live with whatever decision he made for the rest of his life.
She hoped he would find out what it would take to stop the abortion and then do so, but deep down she feared that he wouldn’t.
She told her husband, Richard, about Ian trying to borrow money for the abortion and how she wanted to try to stop it. He quietly told her that he didn’t think that was a good idea. Anna firmly responded, “This is my grandchild we’re talking about! If I don’t at least try to stop it from being aborted, it’ll haunt me for the rest of my life.”

The next morning, shortly before ten o’clock, a very attractive eighteen-year-old Tara Harper was in the waiting room of Dr. Brantley Holcomb. Another young woman was seated beside her. Tara filled out an abortion consent form and gave it to the receptionist who was seated behind a window. She sat back down, and while waiting to be seen by Dr. Holcomb, she drifted into thought.
She remembered the night that she and Ian had dinner together at his apartment. He impressed her by preparing the most awesome spaghetti she had ever eaten. He told her that his mother told him that if he and his brother learned how to cook, their future wives would appreciate it. So she taught them how to make spaghetti, but unfortunately, that was the only thing she had taught them how to cook. Tara’s contribution to the dinner was a tossed salad with ranch dressing and garlic bread. Opening that second bottle of Chianti probably wasn’t the best idea, but it was really good. She was lost in the moment, the solitude, the candlelit meal, the wine and Ian’s kisses. Oh, how she craved his kisses.
The distant voice of a nurse calling her name brought her back to reality. “Miss Harper, Tara Harper, the doctor will see you now.” Tara touched the hand of the young woman seated next to her, slowly got up, and went through the door being held open by a nurse.

At the same time across the Saluda River, Anna was at work instructing her seventh-grade, social studies students to pack their books in anticipation of the ten o’clock bell indicating morning break and the change of classes.
When the bell rang she walked hurriedly through the crowded halls to a closet near the teachers’ work room. The closet was used as a phone room for teachers to make calls. There was a sign on the closed closet door that read “PHONE CLOSET-Please make calls brief.”
Anna knocked on the door and heard a voice say, “Wait a minute.” She waited anxiously. A couple other teachers needing to make calls started a line behind her. She impatiently knocked again. Finally, a teacher emerged from the phone room, scowling at Anna. Anna entered the phone closet, closed the door behind her, and dialed the number of her gynecologist. A receptionist answered.
Anna responded, “Hello, this is Anna Weber. I’m a patient of Dr. Stanford. Would you please tell me where in this city a girl would go for an abortion? My grandchild is scheduled to be aborted this morning, and I want to try to stop it.”
The receptionist told her there was only one doctor in the Greenville area who performed abortions, Dr. Brantley Holcomb. Anna immediately associated the name with something negative she had heard on the evening news, but she couldn’t remember in what context. She later remembered that, about ten years earlier, he had been charged with rape in one case and with murder for a late-term, third-trimester abortion in another case.
Anna asked for his phone number, and after the receptionist gave it to her, she wished Anna “good luck.”
Anna thanked her, hung up, and nervously started dialing the number. She messed up and had to start dialing all over again. A glance at a clock on the wall read 10:07.
A receptionist answered, “Dr. Holcomb’s office. Will you hold please?”
Anna, begged, “No, please don’t put me on hold...” as she heard a click on the phone. She could do nothing but wait anxiously for the receptionist to pick back up.
The school bell rang indicating the morning break was over, and it was time for teachers to be back in their classrooms. To Anna’s relief, the receptionist finally answered, saying “I’m sorry to have put you on hold. May I help you?”
Knowing that it was wrong to lie, but feeling confident that God would understand in this situation, Anna answered, “Yes, my daughter, Tara Harper, is scheduled to have an abortion this morning, and I don’t want her to have it. I want her to have the baby.”
The receptionist argued, “You can’t stop her from having an abortion. She’s of legal age.” Anna knew she couldn’t dispute that. Then the receptionist added, “And she’s less than twelve weeks pregnant. It’s your daughter’s choice and legally you have no say so in the matter.”
Anna didn’t know where her next lie came from. It must have been divine intervention, because she found herself saying, “I’ll have you know Tara is more than twelve weeks pregnant. I know because we were on the same schedule with our menstrual cycles. She’s at least thirteen weeks pregnant.”
The receptionist told Anna it was too late, that Tara was already sedated. Anna went ballistic, declaring, “It can’t be too late! Tell Dr. Holcomb if he kills my grandchild, he will never hear the end of it, I’ll have him arrested for murder!” Then, with the thought that maybe she should threaten to hit him where it might hurt him the most, in his wallet, she snarled, “I’ll sue him for every dime he’s worth!” Then she tearfully begged, “Please, don’t let him kill my grandchild!”
The receptionist stated firmly, “Mrs. Harper, it’s too late!” as she hung up the phone.
Anna returned to her classroom full of students who teased her about being tardy without a late pass. Anna greeted them with a heavy heart, camouflaged with a big smile as if everything was alright.

Tara Harper’s sister Nicole was only nineteen months younger than her. They were always more like best friends than sisters. When Nicole came home from school earlier, she found Tara in a very bad state of mind. Tara confided that she had gone for an abortion earlier in the day, but somehow their mother had found out and called the doctor to stop it. Tara was terrified of what was in store for her when their parents got home from work. Nicole did the best she could to comfort her sister, but Tara withdrew to their shared bedroom and shut the door.
Later that day, Nicole was doing her homework in the kitchen, when their mother Andrea Harper arrived home from her job as a clerk-typist and started putting away several bags of groceries. Nicole watched her in total disbelief. She assumed her mother knew about Tara’s visit to the abortion doctor. How could her mother so nonchalantly put away groceries when Tara was at the depths of despair? Why didn’t her mother check on Tara’s well-being?
Andrea asked, “Nicole, how was school today?”
Nicole didn’t respond. She didn’t understand how her mother could calmly ask how school was.
“Nicole? Didn’t you hear me?” Andrea asked louder?
“Yeah!” Nicole responded angrily.
Concerned, Andrea asked, “What’s wrong?”
“You know good and well what’s wrong,” snapped Nicole. “Why aren’t you the least bit concerned about Tara?”
With that remark, Andrea instantly knew something was very wrong and went to her daughters’ bedroom. She knocked on the door and called “Tara,” but Tara didn’t answer. She knocked again calling “Tara,” but there was still no answer. “I’m coming in!”
Andrea opened the door and found Tara curled up on the bed in a prenatal position, her nose red and eyes puffy. Upon seeing her mother, Tara burst into tears, “I’m sorry Mama. I didn’t want to have an abortion. I didn’t want to hurt you and Daddy. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry. I’m so ashamed.”
Shocked, Andrea asked, “You had an abortion?”
Sobbing, Tara responded, “No, I was going to until you called Dr. Holcomb’s office and told them to stop it.”
Confused, Andrea asked, “What? What are you talking about? Who’s Dr. Holcomb? I haven’t called anybody to stop anything!”
Equally confused, Tara asked, “You didn’t call Dr. Holcomb?”
“No, it wasn’t me.” Andrea responded, very annoyed, “Who would want to pretend they were me? I certainly don’t like the idea of you being pregnant, but I’m glad you didn’t have the abortion.” Andrea proceeded to tell Tara that being pregnant was not the end of the world, that they would work it out, and that she wanted the baby.

That evening Anna received a phone call from Andrea Harper asking her if she was the woman who called Dr. Holcomb’s office pretending to be her. Hesitantly, Anna responded, “Yes, it was me.” She was not sure if Andrea would be angry with her for meddling in their business or of she would be grateful.
Andrea gratefully told her, “Thank you. I want this baby.” The two expectant grandmothers continued a pleasant conversation, where Andrea invited Anna to a party for women only at their house the next weekend. Anna accepted the invitation. At the party Andrea pulled Anna aside where the two excited grandmothers-to-be quietly talked about how they were looking forward to sharing the joys of being grandparents together.

A few days later, Anna, Ian, Andrea, and Tara met in a mom and pop hamburger joint to discuss the baby’s future. Andrea assured Ian and Tara, that if they marry, she and Tara’s father would help them out financially until they got on their feet. Anna added that after bridal and baby showers, a lot of their immediate needs would be met. But Ian and Tara turned down their offers of assistance. They let their mothers know that they appreciated their thoughtfulness, but they wanted to decide for themselves what was best for their lives and futures.
Andrea agreed to abide by whatever decision Tara and Ian made. Anna hesitantly agreed, because in the back of her mind was the nagging fear that her grandchild would be put up for adoption.

Tara’s father, Pete Harper, was a forty-year-old, easy-going, hardworking, and protective father of his two daughters. The evening that Andrea and Tara told Pete about Tara’s pregnancy, they saw a side of him they never knew existed. But then Pete never had to deal with an unwed, pregnant, teenage daughter before.
“What do you mean Ian’s mother pretended she was you and stopped the abortion!” he yelled. “What makes that meddling woman, what’s her name, think she has the right to interfere in our affairs? That’s none of her business! It’s not her child that’s going to cause her family shame by bringing an illegitimate child in this world. It’s bad enough that her son got you pregnant. He can strut around like everything is just fine, while you carry the burden of his child.”
In defense of her daughter’s wishes Andrea begged, “Pete, calm down. Tara wants to keep her baby and I’ve told her I’ll support her in whatever decision she makes. I was hoping you would be supportive too.”
“Andrea, don’t tell me to calm down,” Pete demanded. “And Tara, let me get this straight. You’re pregnant. Ian won’t marry you. You don’t have a job and you want to keep the baby. What has gotten into you? We didn’t raise you to sleep around!”
“Daddy, I don’t sleep around. It only happened once.”
“One time!,” he yelled. “You dated him all last summer and you expect me to believe you got pregnant after having sex only once? What do you take me for?”
Andrea reminded Pete that it only took them one time to get pregnant with Tara. Pete snarled at her, “That was different! And you’re making things worse by planting ideas in Tara’s head about keeping the baby. Okay Tara, you can keep your baby.” He then added, “But not under this roof! You can keep your baby when you have the means to put a roof over your head, when you can pay for food, clothing and medical care for both you and your baby. Oh, you have to afford day care for the baby when you’re working. And then there’s the expense of transportation to and from work, plus insurance and the list goes on. You’re eighteen with no job in sight. Good luck! I’m not paying for your mistakes!”
Andrea told Pete that he was being too harsh. She reminded him that they were just a couple of kids when they got married and had a baby right away. But Pete reminded her that Tara was not married. Andrea argued, “And that’s more the reason we should help her.”
Pete’s final words to the situation were, “Okay, I’ll talk to Ian. If I can convince him to marry Tara, I’ll be more than happy to help them get off to a good start in life, but if he doesn’t marry her, Tara’s on her own if she keeps her baby.”

The next morning, when Ian arrived at his job as a sales clerk at a sporting goods store in a strip mall, Pete was in the parking lot waiting for him. Pete demanded, “Ian, we need to talk.”
“Mr. Harper, now is not a good time.” Ian explained, “My boss is expecting me to open the store for him. Can you either meet me at lunch or see me when I get off of work at six?”
I’ll be quick and to the point,” Pete remarked, “If you don’t marry Tara, she’s going to have to leave town, live in a home for unwed mothers, and give her baby up for adoption. You don’t have to stay married, just long enough so she can save face and keep her baby.”
Ian asked Pete to let Tara decide what was best for her. Pete declared that he was letting Tara decide what was best for her.
With a glimmer of hope, Ian asked, “So, if she wants to keep the baby, then she can keep it?”
Pete snapped, “No, because if she decides that, then it’s not what’s best for her. By the way, how many times did you have sex with my daughter?”
Ian responded hesitantly, “Only once.”
“Are you sure it was only once?” Pete questioned cynically.
“Yes, it was the only time,” Ian stated firmly.
Then Pete demanded that Ian stop communicating with Tara. But Ian reminded him that the baby was half his, and he and Tara needed to communicate about the future of their baby. Quite angered by Ian standing firm in his commitment to communicate with Tara, Pete gave him one final ultimatum. “Tara wants her baby, but she can only keep it if she has a husband. You know Doug Barrow?”
Skeptically Ian answered, “Yes, why?”
Pete explained, “Doug said he would like to marry Tara, but only if she gives your baby up for adoption. So if you don’t marry her, she can’t keep her baby.”
With a deep frustrated sigh, Ian responded, “I’m sorry, I can’t marry her.”
With that Pete declared, “Okay then, the baby will be put up for adoption and there’s nothing you can do about it! I will never allow you to have the baby. You can mark my word on that!”

In a desperate attempt to keep his baby from being put up for adoption, Ian decided to tell his fiancée Shari about Tara’s pregnancy. He told Shari that he loved her more than anything else and he hoped she would still love him after he told her what he had to say.
Shari’s apprehensive response was, “Ian, you’re scaring me.”
He proceeded to tell her that he needed her to be understanding, that a girl he used to date was pregnant with his child. Shari immediately burst into tears. Then, when she realized that Tara got pregnant during the same time period when she and Ian were dating, she became hysterical.
“We weren’t going steady then and I didn’t realize how much I loved you until later and that’s when I gave you your ring,” he explained.
“That doesn’t make me feel any better!” Shari cried.
“I was hoping you’d be understanding.” Ian begged, “I don’t want my baby to be placed for adoption. I know it’s asking a lot, but can we postpone our wedding plans?”
That really freaked Shari out. Ian explained that he only wanted to postpone their wedding plans long enough for him to marry Tara, so she wouldn’t have to put his baby up for adoption. He assured her that he and Tara would be married in name only until after the baby was born. Then they would get an annulment and he would marry her.
When Shari steadfastly refused his request to let him marry Tara until his child was born, Ian conceded, “Okay then, I won’t marry Tara. I’ll try to get custody of my baby.”
The thought of that was more than Shari could handle. “And then what? You’re not expecting me to raise another woman’s child, are you?” Shari finally gave him an ultimatum, “Didn’t you tell me a little while ago that you love me more than anything else in the world?”
“Yes,” Ian responded.
Shari asked, “Do you want to marry me?”
“Yes, I do, more than anything,” Ian answered sincerely.
“I won’t marry you if you get custody of that baby!” Shari cried.

Tara left the comforts of home to spend the next few months at one of the many Florence Crittendon homes that serve unwed mothers across the nation. She chose the nearest one, which was over two hundred miles away in Charleston, South Carolina. Her parents told other family members, friends, and neighbors that she had gone away to school.
Anna imagined what Tara was going through, the loneliness she must have felt living so far away from home. Her heart went out to Tara. She wrote letters to comfort her and Tara wrote her back. In one letter Tara said she didn’t understand why Ian wouldn’t marry her. Although Anna never said so, she couldn’t understand it either.

Months later, Ian was at the sales counter where he worked. The store had just opened and Ian was busily getting it ready for the day. Doug Barrow, Tara’s suitor, a large strapping former university football player in his early twenties, approached the sales counter. He was shaking with anger. Ian’s boss was in the background observing the confrontation.
Doug sneered, “You have a lot of nerve calling Tara!” Ian’s boss glared at Ian and cleared his throat.
Ian, not wanting to jeopardize his job, asked Doug if they could speak outside. He assured Doug that he would join him in a few minutes. Reluctantly, Doug went outside, but glared through the window at Ian as he watched him prepare the cash register for the day. Ian took his time, hoping Doug would have time to calm down.
No longer being able to put off the inevitable, Ian joined Doug outside. “We can talk now, but we have to make it brief.”
“If you contact Tara ever again, I’ll rearrange your face to where no woman will ever look at you twice!” Doug threatened.
Ian, knowing he was out-sized by Doug, knew he had to keep a cool head. He calmly said, “Well, you obviously don’t know me very well. You don’t know what I am capable of and I can hurt you too. I don’t want that for either of us. You need to understand, whether you like it or not, Tara’s baby is half mine. I need to communicate with her about the future of our child. So, don’t worry. I’ll not interfere with your relationship with her.
“That’s the least of my concerns,” Doug snorted.
“I understand you’ll marry Tara only if she gives my baby up for adoption, and I find that upsetting,” Ian said anxiously.
With a smirk on his face, Doug declared, “Why should I raise your kid, when Tara and I can have our own. If I’m going to be a daddy, I want to have the pleasure of making the baby.”
Then Doug told Ian that when he refused to marry Tara, he gave up his rights to communicate with Tara and his rights to his baby. He threatened, “Tara’s not keeping your baby and you can’t do anything about it. So you stay out of her life for good or I’ll personally see to it that you will regret it!”

On the evening of June 21, 1983, Andrea Harper called Anna to tell her that Tara had given birth to a baby girl. She assured her that both mother and daughter were doing fine.
The next day, Anna drove down to Charleston to meet her new granddaughter and to see Tara. She brought Tara a dozen red roses and a gift wrapped in white paper and a pink ribbon. When she arrived at Tara’s room in the hospital, Andrea Harper greeted her and offered to take the roses and find a suitable vase. She left Anna to visit alone with her new granddaughter and Tara.
Tara had just finished feeding her baby and asked Anna if she wanted to hold her. Anna gave Tara the gift, and Tara gently handed Anna her new baby to hold.
The thrill of holding her baby granddaughter could only be compared to when Anna held her own first born child. Anna remembered how the fifteen hours of hard labor were instantly forgotten the moment after delivery and the doctor laid her new baby daughter on her chest for her to embrace.
Tara’s voice brought Anna back to the moment. She said, “I named her Stephanie Lynn.”
“That’s a beautiful name,” Anna said proudly, remembering how she once thought that if she had been blessed with another daughter, that is the name she would have chosen. What a coincidence that this was the name chosen for her first grandchild.
Anna watched Tara open the gift that she had brought her. It was a tube of lotion. She told Tara, “I found that in a baby store. The clerk told me it’s supposed to be good for eliminating stretch marks.”
“Thank you so much. I can use that.” Tara stated gratefully.
Having found a vase for the roses, Andrea brought them back in the room and placed them on a table near Tara’s bed. Anna remembered that her camera was in her handbag that was still on her shoulder. Still holding baby Stephanie and not wanting to put her down just yet, she twisted around where Andrea could see her handbag and asked, “Andrea, will you please take my camera out of my pocketbook? This occasion calls for taking pictures.”
Andrea took the camera out of Anna’s purse and the two grandmothers took turns taking pictures of each other holding baby Stephanie. Then Anna took several pictures of Stephanie by herself.
When it was time for Anna to leave for the long drive back home, she told Tara and Stephanie good-bye first. When she told Andrea good-bye, in a low voice Andrea said, “I’ll let you know if Tara decides to keep her or put her up for adoption. It will be her choice.”
Anna smiled and responded confidently, “She’ll keep her.” After seeing Tara holding and feeding Stephanie, she couldn’t imagine her ever giving Stephanie up for adoption. But in the back of her mind she knew that adoption was a possibility that she hoped she would never have to face.

The next morning at the hospital, a tearful Andrea held baby Stephanie close, while Tara talked to a Department of Social Services caseworker from Columbia. Caseworker Taylor assured her that she was making the right choice by releasing her child for adoption. The caseworker left Tara and Andrea alone to say good-bye to Stephanie.
Andrea handed Stephanie to Tara. While holding Stephanie close, Tara whispered a prayer and added, “Please, God, watch over my baby girl. Don’t let this be the last time that I see my little angel.” She kissed baby Stephanie on the face and told her, “I’ll always love you,” as she handed Stephanie to a nurse who had been waiting outside the door.
Thirty minutes later, Tara and her mother returned to the Florence Crittendon office to meet with Caseworker Taylor and a Notary Public. Tara bravely signed the form releasing Stephanie for adoption. Then the Notary Public signed the document and affixed their seal. When they were finished, the caseworker handed Tara an envelope. She explained, “This is some information that might be helpful to you. It includes a list of counseling services that are available to you.” She then asked Tara if she had any questions.
Tara told her, “I don’t have any questions, but I have one request. Would you see to it that my daughter is placed in a religious home?”
Caseworker Taylor promised Tara that her baby would be placed in the best of hands.
That evening Andrea called Anna to tell her that Tara had made her decision and had signed papers releasing Stephanie for adoption. Anna was absolutely grief stricken. After having seen the love that Andrea and Tara showed for Stephanie, she couldn’t understand how they could let her go. On the other hand, she could imagine how difficult it would be on Tara to be ostracized by friends and family for having an illegitimate child, not to mention the stigma Stephanie would have to endure.

Several days later, Anna called the Department of Social Services to ask about the possibility of her adopting Stephanie. She told them that, besides having her own children and being a school teacher, she had the experience of being a foster parent for the state of South Carolina and had kept ten children, one or two at a time, for a ten year period. She was told that grandparents have no rights when their grandchild is released for adoption. The only right she had legally was, she could place a letter in her granddaughter’s file at Social Services, but the letter could not have any identifying information in it, no names of people or geographical locations. The mother’s wish is what prevailed, and Tara had requested that her daughter be placed in a home away from the community where she lived.

A couple days later, a caseworker from the Greenville County Department of Social Services telephoned Ian to get him to sign the document releasing Stephanie for adoption. He drove to the small office manned by only one caseworker. Caseworker Harmon was cold, matter of fact, and controlling.
Upon entering the office, Ian said, “I’m Ian McKinney. You called me about thirty minutes ago, about signing a release form.”
The caseworker looked over a document on her desk top and remarked, “Here it is. The baby’s mother has already signed. All we need is your signature.”
Ian apprehensively looked over the document, then said, “I don’t understand the big rush.”
The caseworker explained that the adoptive parents had already been cleared.
Ian argued, “But Stephanie is less than a week old. I was hoping you would reconsider letting me have custody of her.”
The caseworker explained, “As I told you before, the mother wants her baby to be placed for adoption. We’re legally obligated to honor the mother’s wishes.”
Ian pleaded, “But Stephanie is half mine.”
In a condescending tone the caseworker told him, “You don’t have the resources to care for a baby. You have a man living with you to help pay your rent.”
Ian questioned, “Are you saying I don’t have any rights?”
“You have the right to say either yes or no to signing this form,” the caseworker snapped, “If you don’t sign it, we’ll have to take you to court and it could take years to be settled. Meanwhile, the child will have to stay in foster care. Sometimes these children get bounced around from home to home until the case is settled. Then she’d have to be uprooted to live with either an adoptive family or with you.” Then in a threatening and haughty tone she added, “That is if the court grants you custody, which I seriously doubt it would.”
Stunned, Ian responded, “I’m sorry. I can’t sign it.”
The caseworker retorted emphatically, “But you can’t back out now. We already found her a family!”
Ian left the Social Services office to find a pay phone to call Tara. When he reached Tara, he found out that she had been crying non-stop since she kissed Stephanie good-bye. He asked Tara if she was absolutely certain that placing Stephanie for adoption is what she really wanted. He told her that he knew she had already signed the document, but if she regretted it, he would not sign it. He insisted that they could still work something out. Tara reminded him that they could not afford a baby. He argued that people have babies all the time that they can’t afford, but it works out. In a final plea, he reminded her that once he signed the document, Stephanie would be gone from their lives for good. Tara stood firm in her decision.
Defeated, Ian returned to the Social Services office and signed the document. It did not ease his pain in the slightest when the caseworker told him he was doing the right thing.

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