Find a Christian store

<< Go Back

The Amish Mother's Secret

By Diane Craver

Order Now!

Chapter One

Four Years Later
Columbus, Ohio

Lindsay Prescott sat in her hospital bed, knowing she couldn’t keep the truth from her daughter Phoebe any longer. Guilt and anxiety filled her soul as she remembered what she’d done twenty-two years ago. As a single mother without the means to make enough money to support her family, she had to make a hard choice. Giving away her daughters broke her heart, but keeping Phoebe had helped ease the pain throughout the years. Lindsay felt sick to her stomach at the thought of revealing the truth to Phoebe. Would her daughter understand how impossible it would have been to have kept Jenna and Amy?

Maybe this was why cancer had invaded her body. God wanted her to finally confess what she’d done. She’d promised to never see her beautiful daughters again, but her situation was different now. She needed to see them before she died. It was the right time for Phoebe to know the truth. Lindsay didn’t want Phoebe to be alone when she was gone.

But where are Amy and Jenna now?

Lindsay looked at the envelope sitting on top of her blanket. Before going to the treatment center, Phoebe had grabbed the mail. Her daughter must’ve only glanced at the top one because she surely would have questioned a returned letter from Indiana. When Lindsay gave her daughters to Roman and Katie Yoder, they were living in Shipshewana, a lovely town where many Amish lived. It seemed unlikely that they’d moved from their white clapboard farmhouse situated among beautiful, rolling hills.

When Katie had made her promise to never contact Amy and Jenna, Lindsay had requested to receive a letter each year on their birthday. She was sad Katie had only agreed to send her an annual letter during the girls’ childhood. Once they had graduated from eighth grade at the age of fourteen, there were no additional letters from Katie. Fingering the envelope, Lindsay remembered reading in the last letter in which Katie said her obligation was finished. Although Lindsay appreciated the letters, she wished they could have continued exchanging correspondence. At age twenty-two, Amy and Jenna could be married now. They may have even given birth to their own children. Amish women were sometimes married in their early twenties or younger.

Tears fell onto the envelope as Lindsay thought about how much she had missed by giving her children away. If Harris had known she was pregnant, would he have married her? Well, as a single mother, she’d done the best she could and never regretted for a minute that she’d kept one of her daughters.

Lindsay used her sleeve to wipe her face. After being in the ER room for hours, she’d been admitted to a hospital room earlier in the afternoon. Her first chemo treatment hadn’t gone well. Phoebe had been with her during the IV infusion when many things went wrong. With sudden chest pains, low blood pressure, and low hemoglobin, Lindsay was put on oxygen. When it was decided she needed to go to the ER, a nurse pushed Lindsay in a wheelchair quickly to the hospital wing.
Rachel, the same nurse from the ER, stood next to Lindsay’s bed. “I’m sorry we don’t have the blood for your transfusion yet. It takes time to get blood with the type of antibodies your body needs, but I know you’ll feel better after you get it.”

Lindsay saw the concern in Rachel’s eyes and appreciated having the kind nurse taking care of her. “I’m okay. I’m surprised a letter I sent to friends was returned to me today. I can’t believe they moved.”

“When I moved, the post office forwarded my mail for six months.”

She nodded, noticing Rachel looking at the envelope. “It’s been some time since I wrote to them. I wish they had sent me their new address.”

“I see they lived where a lot of the Amish are located. Shipshewana is a lovely place. I visited there with my grandmother, and we stayed at a place called Blue Gate Inn. We wanted to go for a buggy ride, but it rained the whole time we were there. They canceled the rides.”

“That’s too bad. I went for a ride and enjoyed the gentle sway of the buggy. The rhythm of the horse’s hooves against the pavement was soothing.”

While Rachel took Lindsay’s vitals, she said, “I hope you can learn your friends’ new address.”

“I do too,” Lindsay murmured, feeling relief at the sight of her daughter returning to her room. Thank goodness she wouldn’t have to continue talking about Katie. Saying she was a friend had been stretching the truth. Well, she had once been a wonderful friend, but she was not close enough to share her new address.

“I called Vickie and Michelle,” Phoebe said. “They’re praying for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Would you like me to contact Drew too?” Phoebe winked at her.

She laughed. “No. There isn’t any reason to tell him anything.”

Phoebe tapped her finger against her bed. “Really? I think you should tell him you’re in the hospital.”

“Stop. We only went out a few times. Besides, he’s in Germany for his job.” Drew Morrow was their widowed next-door neighbor. Phoebe was such a tease and often liked to throw his name out in conversation. Drew was nice, but it’d been hard to go out the few times they had because he traveled for his job. Plus, he had an eight-year-old son, Matthew.

After quietly recording Lindsay’s blood pressure and other measurements, Rachel walked over to Lindsay’s IV and looked at the fluid level. Her movements were quick and competent.

“Do you think I’ll be discharged tomorrow?” Lindsay asked, squeezing the blanket with her fingers. If she were still able to receive her transfusion this evening, she should be able to leave.

“It’s up to the doctor, but I think it’s possible. I’ll go see if the blood is on the way here.”

After Rachel left her room, Phoebe glanced at the envelope. “Who are Katie and Roman Yoder?”

Her stomach tightened at Phoebe’s question. Should she blurt out the truth now? No, it isn’t the right time to explain everything. It would be better to wait until they were no longer in the hospital. “I knew them a long time ago.”

Phoebe laughed. “It must have been a long time ago because I’ve never heard you mention them. Were you close in the old days?”

“We spent time together.”

“Were they Dad’s friends too?” Phoebe tossed the envelope on the bed and pulled a chair close to her bed.

“No. He never knew them.” Well, that was the truth. Her husband, Paul, had died in a car accident before the triplets were born. He’d only been her spouse for a month. Once he knew about the pregnancy, Paul wanted to marry her. Her high school boyfriend had been there for her. Harris never gave her a chance to tell him about the pregnancy before he dumped her. In spite of a broken heart, she’d married Paul. It wasn’t fair for him to have been burdened with her pregnancy, because in the end, he’d died at the young age of eighteen.

“Good news, ladies. I have the blood.” Rachel rushed into the room.

“That’s wonderful.” She watched the nurse hang the bag on the IV pole next to her bed. Meanwhile, Lindsay was relieved Rachel’s appearance had interrupted Phoebe’s questions.

Phoebe ran her fingers through her black hair. “I can stay here with you tonight. I don’t have to go home.”

Lindsay saw the dark circles under her daughter’s brown eyes. “I’ll be fine. It’s been a long day for both of us. You should go home. I love you.”

“Okay, I’ll leave so you can rest. I’ll be back early tomorrow morning. I love you too.”

In the quiet hospital room, Lindsay closed her eyes, wishing she hadn’t dismissed her cancer symptoms two years earlier. She’d had severe abdominal pain, night sweats, and bloating. Touching her stomach, she groaned at the memory. Each time she had become ill, CT scans at the ER had shown an enlarged spleen. She’d gotten an appointment to see a GI physician. The doctor had thought she had liver cancer, but she didn’t. Then a referral was made to see an oncologist. According to her blood work, there was no cancer.
Recently, her night sweats had started becoming worse, and a loss of weight occurred. Lindsay thought she was going through early menopause. What was the point in seeing either the GI doctor or oncologist again when nothing had been accomplished?

As she rubbed her collarbone, Lindsay felt the lumps that had scared Phoebe. “They’re cysts. Nothing to worry about,” she’d told her daughter. “Besides, I have a lot to do at school.”

“Geez, Mom, you need to see your doctor and not worry about your students.”
At the continued insistence of Phoebe, she’d finally gone to the doctor to see why she felt so lousy and told her family physician about the other symptoms she’d experienced. He feared lymphoma cancer. After the CT scan showed enlarged lymph nodes in the abdomen, spleen, armpits, shoulder, and collarbone, a biopsy was ordered to confirm cancer. It was devastating to hear she was in stage four of lymphoma cancer. Once again, she’d messed up her life by putting off her own health. If she’d gone right away, her chances of survival would have been almost one hundred percent, instead of the sixty-five percent survival rate she was now facing.

She sucked in her breath, realizing Harris needed to learn the truth. A cynical laugh escaped her mouth. Not about her cancer but about their daughters. It would be difficult to face him after all these years, but what else could she do? Once she told Phoebe, she’d summon the courage to tell him. She couldn’t imagine he’d be thrilled to learn this secret now.

Harris’s love for her hadn’t been enough or real. It seemed she’d been a summer fling because he went on to marry Callie. Once Lindsay was out of his sight, Harris decided to forget about her. If only she’d known about her pregnancy before he left. It might have made a difference. Or probably not. She was sure his parents hadn’t wanted her as a daughter-in-law when they could have Callie, the perfect woman for their son with an impeccable background. Callie’s mother wasn’t an alcoholic, and her parents were successful.

If her dad hadn’t died young, she might have grown up in a stable home. Turning to alcohol had been her mom’s way of coping after his death. Why couldn’t she have loved me enough to fight her addiction?

Leaning her head against the pillow, Lindsay felt exhausted. For years, she’d been a strong woman and mother. She hadn’t shed a tear when the biopsy confirmed she had lymphoma cancer. Knowing what had caused her many symptoms and lumps had been a relief. Her hand flew to her abdomen remembering the horrible physical pain.

Today, a different kind of pain was suffocating her whole soul. Without being able to tolerate her first chemo treatment, she realized she could die. She must confess the adoption to her precious daughter.

If she got to go home tomorrow, she’d tell Phoebe everything. It would be difficult to explain how she had no choice in the decision that was made years ago. Hopefully, her daughter would eventually understand and still love her. I will hate seeing the hurt in Phoebe’s eyes that I kept this secret from her, but it has to be done.

Once she found Amy and Jenna, they would want to know who their birth father was. She’d have to tell them how Harris never knew about them. The secret of the adoption was one thing, but revealing Harris to them and the truth to him would affect all of them. She pressed her hand against her chest, feeling the heaviness. Then the pain moved throughout her whole body. What had she done by keeping her daughters and Harris in the dark for years?

She’d soon find out because the search for Amy and Jenna needed to start soon. If the Yoder family left Shipshewana, where were they now?

***

Exhausted from the stress of seeing her mom admitted to the hospital, Phoebe tossed her bag beside her on the gray sofa. She exhaled a deep breath. It wasn’t just that her mom hadn’t tolerated the chemo, but everything had sapped her energy. It seemed like it’d taken too long to have the tests scheduled. Then they had to wait for the biopsy results to confirm whether or not it was cancer. The sadness she’d carried with her all these weeks seemed to multiply. Her mom had looked fragile and pale when she’d left her at the hospital. Why hadn’t she gone to the doctor months ago? Now she couldn’t even get the first treatment done.

Phoebe’s eyes had filled with tears when the oncologist had explained the diagnosis. He’d said, “Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma is treatable, especially in the beginning stages. Even though you’re in stage four, Mrs. Prescott, you can beat this disease.”

Phoebe wondered if her mom could survive cancer. The trouble with her blood made her a patient at the hospital today. I don’t want to lose her. She’s the most important person to me.

The silence in their house disturbed Phoebe. She missed her mom’s presence greatly and hoped she’d be discharged from the hospital tomorrow. Glancing around the living room, she didn’t see anything that needed to be done. Since it was an open-concept floor plan, she could see the white cabinets with the black-and-white granite countertop from the sofa. The kitchen had been their last remodeling project. For the backsplash, her mother had chosen a soft gray subway tile, but Phoebe had gotten to pick out the stools for the island. She’d chosen ones with red seats to add a pop of color.

Phoebe turned her head to stare at a picture of them from their beach vacation over a year ago. She picked up the photo to look at it closely. The ocean water in the background looked blue and beautiful. She loved her mother’s huge smile in the photo. They’d gone during their spring break. Fortunately, her college break and her mother’s school spring break had been the same week. Whenever they went to the beach, it was fun to pack for their road trips. Her mom bought the pop, bottles of water and juice, fruit, and other snacks. Phoebe enjoyed their shopping trips to Kohl’s to get some new things to wear on their vacations.
She couldn’t believe how different her mom looked now. On the beach, she was healthy, but now she’s so thin. I should’ve realized something was wrong when she started losing weight. Loss of weight was a symptom of lymphoma.
At the sound of her ringtone, Phoebe pulled her cell phone out of her bag. Seeing it was her close friend, she answered. “Hi, Haley. I’m glad you called. I’m feeling down.”

“Did they get the transfusion started?”

“Yes. I left the hospital after that. Mom told me to go home.”

“I’m sorry she didn’t get to finish her treatment. I’m sure it’ll go better next time.”

“This illness has taken a lot out of her. I can’t believe how much weight she has lost.”

“Your mom is such a great, strong person. In time, she’ll be a cancer survivor, and you two can take another beach vacation together,” Haley said.
Phoebe and her mom had talked about taking their annual summer beach vacation before the diagnosis, but she wasn’t feeling up to it. “I don’t think we can. She has several months of chemo ahead. I might not be able to go to medical school this year.”

“Don’t decide now. Her treatments will go smoother next time.”

“I think she cried when I was out of the room. She seems depressed and afraid she won’t get better.” Phoebe remembered how awful the abdominal pain and spleen attacks had been. Her mom could barely walk to the bathroom. Today, her face showed again how she suffered from pain. I can’t admit out loud to Haley that I want to be with her as much as possible because Mom might die.

“Maybe you could work fewer hours this summer.”

“They might fire me anyhow. I’ve missed a few shifts recently, and they know I’m not working when I start medical school. Instead of going full-time, I could just take fewer graduate courses. I want to give Mom as much support as I can.”

“Lindsay’s still young and has always been a fighter.” Haley chuckled. “Look how she survived your childhood.”

Phoebe laughed. “Hey, you were the troublemaker. I still can’t believe we left school early to go to your house.”

“It was not fun being grounded. That’s for sure.”

Before ending their conversation, they talked about other crazy memories from when they were in school. After saying goodbye a few minutes later, Phoebe leaned back against the couch cushion, feeling grateful for Haley’s call.

“Lord, thank you that Haley made me laugh. It felt good after spending the day at the hospital. Please help my mom get well and win against this cancer invading her body. She’s always been the best mother, and I’m thankful you picked her to be my parent. Bless her doctors daily as they administer to her. Give me the continued strength to take excellent care of Mom when she’s home in between treatments. Thank you for all your blessings. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”

At ten o’clock, she decided to go to her mother’s bedroom to read. She couldn’t sleep yet. That was for sure. Her mother’s room had light blue walls with a cozy chair next to her bed. Ever since she was a teenager, they’d read the Bible together before going to bed. Lifting the Bible from the nightstand, Phoebe turned quickly to sit. Her elbow hit a glass of water. Horror went through her body as she grabbed the tipped glass. Water seeped into the partially opened drawer. In a hurry, she ran to the bathroom and picked up the hand towel. She wiped up the water, then removed the bottle of hand lotion, small devotional books, and aspirin from the drawer. Wrapping them in the towel, she next lifted the shelf liner, noticing it was only damp. At another glance, she saw a large envelope. It looked like it had escaped water damage.

Confusion entered her mind. Why is Mom hiding this in the bottom of the drawer? She freed her hands from the towel to pick up the envelope. Should she open it to see what was in the envelope? Maybe it was a life insurance policy. The other day, her mom had talked about having a policy to use for expenses after her death. If that was it, then the document was a thick one.

I’ll take a peek and see what it is. I have to make sure nothing is wet inside. Okay, I’m being nosy. It probably isn’t damaged. After lifting the envelope flap, she pulled out letters that were tied loosely with a narrow pink ribbon. Sitting in the chair, she saw each envelope was addressed to Lindsay Prescott, and the sender was Katie Yoder in Shipshewana, Indiana.

Her throat tightened, and Phoebe blinked rapidly to look again at the envelopes. Untying the ribbon, she counted fourteen letters. The postmark on each envelope was the date of her birthday. The bedroom was warm, but a shiver coursed through her. Why would this Katie person send letters every year on my birthday?

Rubbing her forehead, Phoebe could not fathom the truth behind these letters, but it definitely had something to do with her. Her heart sank, and her stomach turned over. There was one thing she did realize—the person she’d trusted her whole life had lied to her.

Order Now!

<< Go Back


Developed by Camna, LLC

This is a service provided by ACFW, but does not in any way endorse any publisher, author, or work herein.