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Independence

By Angela D. Shelton

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“No, Dad. Don’t leave. We can find another way.” At just seventeen years of age, Olivia Jackson faced a world falling apart — again. How much sorrow was one person expected to shoulder? Wasn’t it enough that she lost her mother?

Her father’s expressionless face hurt her more than if he’d shown some anger. “There’s no other way. I’m sorry. I can’t add another mouth to feed to my brother’s home.”

Uncle Kevin and Aunt Amanda stood behind Olivia, facing her retreating father.

Uncle Kevin reiterated the same offer he’d made dozens of times in the last twenty-four hours. “Tom, you don’t need to do this. We’ll make it work.”

Aunt Amanda rubbed Olivia’s shoulders from behind. “Come on, Tom. Your brother’s right. There’s no need to split your family apart.”

Dad whirled back to them, his eyes blazing. The hands he’d been wringing now jammed in his pockets, his resolve hardening. “Once I find work, I’ll come back and get you. I won’t have my baby sleeping on the streets. It’s not safe.”

“Take Olivia inside, Amanda.” Uncle Kevin waved toward the door. “My brother and I need to talk.”

“No!” Olivia couldn’t let her father out of her sight. “I need to stay with Dad.”

Her uncle’s glare revealed his anger. “Amanda. Now.”

Aunt Amanda pulled at Olivia’s arm, steering her away.

Olivia shouted over her shoulder as she allowed herself to be drawn back toward the house. “Promise me you won’t leave without saying goodbye!”

No response came from her father, and she dissolved into sobs. Aunt Amanda folded Olivia into her arms as they trudged away.

<<>>

It was dark outside when Olivia woke, lying atop the bedspread. Dried tears glued her eyelids shut, and a heaviness pressed her into the bed.

Though no one had told her as much, she knew her father was gone. Aunt Amanda stopped by the room multiple times, offering water, soup, a hug, anything to help ease the pain and loneliness. But the lump that settled in Olivia’s chest threatened to heave up anything left in her stomach from breakfast.

When she rolled to her side, the soggy pillowcase cooled her cheek.

Now what? Not only was her mother gone, but her father as well. Abandoned. Stranded with an extended family she barely knew.

Uncle Kevin brought his family to Columbus last year, and they stayed with Olivia and her father for a few short months, trying to find work. Dad thought he could get Uncle Kevin a job at the factory. Instead, Dad lost his position.

They didn’t stay long after that. Dad’s drinking drove them away.

She got out of bed and wandered down the hallway to the bathroom. There was no electricity tonight. Power was never a guarantee these days. Tonight, a full moon shone through the bathroom window. With the door open, it lit the hallway enough to keep her from stubbing her toes.

After using the toilet, she rinsed her hands under the faucet. There wasn’t any soap. She hadn’t seen soap regularly since her father lost his job, and it had been sparse before that.

Funny how she used to take minor items like hygiene for granted. Mom had been so picky about her laundry detergent. She had to have a particular scent and would stop at two or three stores if they were out of what she liked.

That was before. Before the variant. Before it all fell apart. Before Mom died.

Olivia dried her hands on a rough towel, inhaling a scent she wasn’t expecting—vinegar. Interesting. People made do with what they had, but she’d never heard of washing laundry with vinegar. Couldn’t be worse than nothing at all, though, right?

She gazed into the mirror. Though her long brunette hair looked black in the dark, her swollen eyes provided a dead giveaway to a long night of tears.

As she padded back up the hallway, she passed by her cousin’s room. Mumbling came from inside as if Rob were having nightmares. They all had their demons now. She certainly did.

Back in her room, she slipped under the covers. The night had turned chilly, so she pulled up an extra blanket from the bottom of the bed. Even with no heat in the house, it only got cool late into the evening and early the next day. Of course, there was no air conditioning either, and the Georgia heat was harder to hide from than the cold.

Snuggling under the covers, she let her mind drift. Was there a chance she could fall asleep again? Perhaps staying awake was better anyway. She didn’t want to wake up to life without her father.

Dad wouldn’t be back. She didn’t know how she knew, but her brain resolved it. She should be grateful he’d stopped drinking long enough to bring her to Shiloh. He’d only remain sober if he ran out of alcohol. But somehow, even when he couldn’t earn a dime for a meal, he always found a way to get a drink.

If only he’d put as much time and attention into finding work. She might still have a family.

Enough!

Tomorrow, she had to face her new life. She had to make it without him now or find someone else to take care of her. Maybe Aunt Amanda and Uncle Kevin meant what they said. Perhaps they would be her caregivers.

She drifted off to sleep with the crickets chirping outside her window and her cousin mumbling nightmares in the room next door.

<<>>

Three months later…

“Olivia, can you please come help me?” Aunt Amanda hollered from outside the open bedroom window. “I’ve got the net all tangled up and can’t get this bird free.”

Still dressing for the day, Olivia looked out the screen and groaned. What a tangled mess her aunt had gotten into!

“I’ll be right there.”

She picked up her jacket and slid her arms into it. A little nippy this morning, today promised some relief from the previous day’s heat. Fall eased out the oppressive summer temps but brought worries of how they would survive after the growing season.

As she opened her bedroom door, her uncle’s voice emanated from the kitchen. From the low tones, he must want the conversation to remain private, so he was discussing her cousin or lecturing Rob in person.

Either way, she’d rather avoid the discussion. She quickened her pace toward the front door.

Her stomach growled. Their hard work in the garden produced limited success. Before they’d found a barrier, the deer ate every bean they planted. The second planting produced only anemically. Nothing like the Worthingtons’ garden next door.

As Olivia rounded the side of the house, Aunt Amanda’s brow furrowed, and her lips pressed tight. “I don’t know how I got this so tangled up. I think the bird is in worse shape than when I started.”

The six-foot-tall net fence kept deer out. The barrier ran around the perimeter of their plot, tacked up to poles on the four corners. A dove flapped its wings, tangled in the material.

Olivia hustled over. “I guess adding the top section to keep birds out worked. Maybe a little too well.”

The fowl’s frantic movements stopped as her aunt grasped it and folded its wings by its sides. A trickle of blood emanated from the tousled feathers, and Olivia cringed. She hated to see any animal suffering. Even if it was stealing their food. Sections of mesh crisscrossed its body in a hopeless tangle. “Should I get a knife or some scissors? I’m not sure how else to get it out.”

Her aunt shook her head. “We can’t waste the material. It took us months to find this, and who knows if we’d find a replacement if we hack it up.” A long sigh escaped her lips. “We may not save the bird. That’s what it gets for trying to steal our sunflowers.”

Like the trapped bird, Olivia’s heart fluttered in her chest. Letting the bird die was more than she could bear. “Let me try.”

Her thin fingers lifted the bird’s wing, causing more flutters and cheeps. The mesh cut deep into its joint, and its feathers pulled in awkward directions.

“Come on, little one. We’re trying to save you, but you need to help yourself and stay calm,” Aunt Amanda cooed.

Once more, Olivia touched the tiny body and worked one square of the net off the wing, then smoothed the feathers into place. “One down. Quite a few to go.”

With a sigh, her aunt nodded for her to continue.

Little by little and section by section, they spent the next half hour freeing the bird. By the time they removed the net from its feet, all three shook from strained muscles.

“Moment of truth.” Aunt Amanda lowered the dove to the ground. “Let’s see if you can still fly.”

They released it, and the bird flew a few feet, then dropped back to the grass.

Olivia walked toward it, but before she could get within arm’s reach, it flew up again and landed in a nearby oak tree. “Good enough. At least in a tree, it won’t be lunch. If it’s lucky, it’ll get over the shock and find its way home.”

Planting her hands on her hips, she faced the net. Perhaps they could salvage it. The bird’s gyrations and their efforts to free it had broken some strands.

From the house, her uncle shouted, “If you live under this roof, you’ll do what I say! Otherwise, you can get out.”

Aunt Amanda winced and brushed her grimy hands on her jeans. “I’d better go see if I can help.”

“I’ll stay here and work on this.” Olivia knew better than to go inside now. “It’ll take most of the morning to figure this tangle out. Good thing I like puzzles.”

She smiled at her aunt to ease her burdens and received a weak grin in return. In this house, joy was scarce as food, and laughter as nonexistent as soap.

After Aunt Amanda returned to the house, a calm came over the building. At least Olivia couldn’t hear anything from outside. Quiet was the most she could ask for.

Rob was a hot mess. He was lucky the prisons barely functioned these days and could only hold the most hardened criminals. Many states reinstated the death penalty for heinous crimes to keep the worst off the streets.

Her cousin wasn’t dangerous. Just an alcoholic.

While Rob’s recent history with a deceptive criminal added to his problems, her father was likely to blame for Rob’s alcohol addiction. She wished they’d never gotten together.

Her fingers continued to unravel the knots. A rumble in her gut reminded her she’d not eaten yet. If Rob would stop drinking, perhaps the family could focus on their food situation.

Aunt Amanda didn’t want to push him to go cold turkey. A local doctor advised them a sudden stop could kill him. The physician had connections to an Atlanta specialist with access to the medications to wean Rob off alcohol. But they had to wait for the drugs to arrive via courier, and that didn’t happen often these days.

She arched her back and tried to stretch out the spasms in her hands. There was so much to miss from her old life. How had she not appreciated the conveniences of the daily mail, Amazon two-day shipping, and even pizza delivery?

But more than anything, she missed her parents.

Labor Day had to be coming up soon, but there wouldn’t be any picnic.

Halloween would be next, and if her mom was still alive, they’d be planning some silly costumes.

When Thanksgiving came, Mom cooked the best turkey dinner. Closing her eyes, Olivia could almost smell the savory gravy simmering on the stove, the spicy apple pie baking in the oven, and the dressing crisping to accompany the main course.

All gone.

Now she lived with a family she struggled to understand and endured their daily battle. Rob wasn’t the only one who dealt with his drinking. The whole family lived it.

That struggle was on top of the need to work for every morsel of food they put on the table.

The net slowly became untangled under her fingertips. Unloop here and uncross there, stretch it out and reattach to the poles. A snail’s pace, but she had nothing else to do, much less anyone to talk to. Because of her petite five-foot frame, she needed a cinder block to reach the tops of the poles, but she’d learned to be resourceful in the years since the supply chain collapsed.

When a day started like today, no one would pay attention to her. Rob’s problem would absorb her aunt and uncle until he fell into bed that evening. That was a given.

If only she could visit her former friend, Jan, on their farm up the road. In the month since Rob admitted to helping blackmail Jan’s brother, none of them had gone to the Worthington ranch. Though Jan’s brother forbade Rob access to the farm, the other family would never forbid her contact. But embarrassment kept them apart.

How do you tell someone you’re sorry your cousin extorted them to get what they had?

She missed Jan. She missed the farm. She missed Caleb. And her body missed the food they used to enjoy when they ate their communal meals.

Now she’d spend her day untangling this net to protect a sad excuse for a garden. Though Jan and her family had been teaching her how to grow food, she had so much more to learn. The jaundiced-looking produce proved it.

Why couldn’t they all reconcile?

Her stomach rumbled.

A tear slipped down her cheek, and she swiped it away. How could Rob ruin everything? How could she fix it? And how long could she live like this?

She tightened her fists. Her ragged nails cut into her palms as her breathing quickened. She couldn’t bring her dad back. But, surely, she could find her way in life again. Find someone to care about her and take care of her. Find a place she belonged without the pall this family cast over her.

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