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Boundary Waters Search and Rescue: Beyond Imagination

By Joy Harding

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Chapter 1

Pilgrims in an Unholy Land
Liz Lockwood was in the kitchen starting dinner and enjoying the peace of her surroundings. It was a perfect mid-May afternoon—warm, sunny, and the birds sang exuberantly. She’d had a good day in the studio, her hands cooperating as she’d embroidered beads onto her newest commission. Despite extensive physical therapy, she still had difficulty beading her textile projects. Some days were so bad that all she could do was wet felt background fabric, write, or if her hands were somewhat cooperative, embroider, but today, she’d been able to do the work she loved the most. Finished in the studio, she had one of her favorite playlists on the sound system, and all was right with the world.
Liz looked up in surprise as Jack’s car came down their road. He was home from the hospital two hours early. She was thrilled. This was the perfect end to her workday. Wiping her hands on a towel, she went to meet him when she heard the door open. As soon as she saw him, she stopped short. He looked like someone had hit him over the head, hard.
Her heart pounding, Liz moved forward and put her arms around him. “What’s wrong, Jack? You look ill.”
Saying nothing, Jack embraced her and bent to rest his head on her shoulder.
Liz held him for a long time, rubbing his back and just letting her warmth soothe him.
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Finally, Jack took a shuddering breath and straightened. He looked down at her and managed, “I’m okay, love. It was just a bad day all around.”
Liz led him into the dining room and motioned for him to sit. “That’s horse patootie. You’re not okay, not even close. Park it, and I’ll be right back.”
Liz returned to the room almost immediately, holding mugs of strong, sweet tea. “It’s tea, sorry, but at least it’s warm. I’ve got some coffee brewing.” After sitting down next to Jack and handing him the cup, she asked, “What’s happened?”
Rubbing his forehead, Jack shook his head. “We are pilgrims in an unholy land and never have I been more convinced of that than I am right now.”
Liz took his hand and squeezed it. “Jack, tell me what’s going on. Did you lose a patient?”
Jack nodded, looking almost despondent. “Actually, I lost two patients, a mother and her child. The mother, who was in her second trimester of pregnancy, had gone in to get an abortion at a regional clinic. Something happened during the procedure, and the twenty-three-week-old baby she was carrying was born alive. A nurse at the clinic called a friend when the doctor refused to do anything even though the mother was pleading with him to help her baby. The friend called emergency services, but by the time they got to the clinic, the mother was hemorrhaging and the baby was dying. Over the doctor’s protests, they received permission from the mother to transport her and the baby. Sadly, by the time they got to me, the child was gone, and it was too late for the mother. She bled out within minutes. She kept saying, ‘I’m sorry, don’t let me die.’” Jack jumped to his feet. “Excuse me.” He ran into the bathroom. Liz heard retching as soon as the door closed behind him.

Later that night, as they lay in bed, Liz asked, “Did they arrest the doctor?”
Jack nodded. “Yes, they did, and he won’t be practicing medicine again. In fact, he’ll be going to prison. As far as I’m concerned, the state should charge him with murder twice over. Minnesota law prohibits abortion after viability—defined as twenty weeks—except when the pregnancy threatens the health of the mother. In addition to performing an illegal procedure on a juvenile, this guy didn’t have hospital privileges or a transfer agreement with either EBCH or the Grand Marais Hospital. His facility certainly didn’t meet the requirements of an ambulatory surgical center. He left the baby uncovered and pretty much the way he’d delivered her. Apparently, he targeted underage and other at-risk women and offered them a way to have a late-term abortion without any of the safeguards designed to protect expecting mothers from harm or help them make an informed decision. None of this, including his arrest and prosecution, does the baby or her mother I tried to save today any good. Once things started to so sour, that child and her child never stood a chance.”
Sitting up, Jack put his head in his hands. “As a medical community, we grievously failed that young woman—she was sixteen— and her baby. I had the privilege of telling her confused, heartbroken parents what had happened. They lost their underage daughter and their grandchild to an illegal abortion they knew nothing about. The mother was a runaway. The father of the baby, who was far older than the girl, gave a false name, posed as the pregnant woman’s father, and served as the notification recipient. The clinic didn’t require any proof of identification, another felony to add to the doctor’s long list. We could arrest the father for falsifying a medical record and for statutory rape, but he took off as soon as the paramedics showed up and the mother died before telling us anything more than he was the father.” Putting his arms around Liz, Jack apologized. “I’m sorry for taking this out on you.”
Liz snuggled close to Jack. “You’re not taking anything out on me. You know I was a religious liberty attorney and believe me when I tell you I understand the frustration. The theory that an ‘evolving’ Constitution somehow creates a ‘liberty right’ to abort a child is, sadly, the law, but many accomplished jurists disagree with that interpretation. They believe that the Constitution guarantees the rights it

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guarantees in plain language and are trying to change or overturn Roe v. Wade. In the meanwhile, something benignly called ‘choice’ kills over a million infants a year and far too many of their mothers.”
Shaking her head sadly, Liz continued, “With the kind of abortion law that exists here in the US, there’s very little incentive to create programs that would provide alternatives for young women like the mother you cared for today or her baby. Many don’t seem to realize that abortion, as used by many, is a very dangerous method of birth control that adversely impacts those women who are low-income, minorities, or who are underage. Today was a case in point, and it’s especially dangerous when abortionists don’t have a connection with a hospital or a conscience.”
Liz sighed. “I wish I could fix it. Particularly when so many couples out there desperately want to be parents, and many don’t care about the child’s ethnicity or if that child has a disability.”
Jack stroked Liz’s cheek. “This sounds like you’re speaking from personal experience.”
Liz nodded. “Yes, although it was a very long time ago. Eric and I had money to raise a child but not to pay a huge amount all at once. He was buying into an architectural partnership and I was just out of law school. At the time, domestic adoption was expensive, and our ages were of concern, particularly with my ongoing health issues. Although my health wasn’t such a roadblock with overseas adoption, we simply couldn’t afford that option. When we got to the point that we could manage the kinds of fees, official and nonofficial, overseas adoption was known for, my health had deteriorated to a point we didn’t feel comfortable adopting. I wish now we’d gone ahead and taken the chance. You want to know something stupid?”
Jack looked at Liz quizzically. “What?”
“I keep hoping that somehow I’ll be a mom. I mean, here I am, still health challenged, perimenopausal, fifty-four years old, and I still keep hoping. How’s that for silly?”
Jack smiled and kissed Liz. “It’s not silly. It’s optimistic. Although I’m not sure I could manage a two-year-old at almost sixty, I’d be willing to try. I do know this. Nothing is impossible with our God.
Look at Abraham and Sarah.”
Drawing Liz to him, Jack held her close to his heart. That night, sleep proved elusive, so he took comfort in her warmth through the long, dark hours. When dawn finally lightened the sky, he got up and sought out his Lord. This morning, for the first time since he could remember, medicine held no joy for him.

Liz found Jack in the library when she awoke. She often found him there mornings, either reading the Bible or praying, but today was different. She could hear his quiet sobs. After getting out of bed, she sat down beside him and put her arms around him. He turned into her embrace, and they held each other close. Praying together, they asked God to show them a path forward and for a way to cope with this particular incarnation of evil—an evil that couldn’t rest on the shoulders of a pregnant young woman who felt that she was without options or on helpless babies killed before they could draw a breath. In this case, it was an evil that was all the more terrible because a child had been born alive only to die, alone and in pain.
When they finished, Jack helped Liz to her feet. “Thank you for praying with me.”
Liz looked up at her husband’s sad face and cupped his cheek. “I love praying with you, Jack. Thank you for caring so much. What’s your schedule like today?”
Jack took a deep breath. “Apart from being on call for BWSR Team 2, I’m off for the next few days. I asked Zach to switch details with me before I came home yesterday, and he agreed. I didn’t think I’d have the focus necessary for the hospital, and I couldn’t take a chance on failing another patient.”
Liz made a rude noise. “Jack, you didn’t fail that mother or her child! The fault lies with the abortionist and with a society that for fifty years has deemed killing unwanted children a proper choice. As if that’s the best solution our ‘enlightened’ society can manage.”
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Looking at Jack appraisingly, Liz said, “You know what I think? I think we should go away for the weekend. You can let Dan know where we’re going, and if he needs you for a rescue run, he can pick you up in the chopper and I’ll drive home. I think it’s important we do this to give you time to get your balance back and because nothing helps you sort things through like time outdoors in God’s
creation. What do you think?”
Jack nodded. “That sounds wonderful.”

Blinking in the early dawn light, Liz looked around, wondering what had awakened her. Jack’s side of the bed in their suite at the Rocky Harbor Lodge was empty, but she saw light coming in from the living area. She stretched and prayed that this getaway would help soothe her husband’s aching spirit. After calling Dan yesterday, they’d driven down Highway 61 along Lake Superior’s north shore until they reached this favorite place just south and west of Tofte, Minnesota. When she’d made the reservations, she’d specified a lakeview room, never imagining that the lodge would give them a “regular customer” upgrade to a suite with a fireplace and a large whirlpool tub. They also had a deck overlooking the water, and their long weekend came with vouchers for a complimentary breakfast and dinner. They’d enjoyed the dinner last night and then had gone for a long walk along the lakeshore. Later that evening, after sharing a whirlpool, they lay in the king bed, relaxing in the glow of the fire. Jack had fallen asleep before Liz, and she’d begun to think that her prescription was working.
Getting up, Liz padded into the living area. Jack was asleep on the love seat, his Bible open and face down on his chest. Walking over, she knelt beside him and kissed him awake. When his eyes opened, she smiled and said, “Honey, this doesn’t look at all comfortable. It’s early, so why don’t you come back to bed for an hour or two? I’m lonely in there all by myself.”
Jack smiled tiredly, sat up, and wrapped his arms around Liz. Kissing her, he apologized, “Sorry, I hadn’t intended to leave you alone for so long.”
“When did you get up?” Liz asked curiously. “I know you like the early morning, but it’s just after five right now.”
“I guess it was a little after two.” Jack got to his feet and took Liz’s hand. After they snuggled back into bed, he kissed her temple. “Please don’t worry. I had a wonderful time with you yesterday, and
I’m looking forward to today.”
“Jack, I am worried,” Liz insisted. “You couldn’t have gotten more than two or three hours of sleep if you got up at two. I know what happened last Thursday is eating at you. Won’t you please let me in? Maybe I can help.”
Jack sat up and leaned against the headboard, his face a study in pain. “Liz, nothing in my training prepared me for what happened the other day. I’m used to losing patients, sadly it happens, but this was different. As a trauma specialist, I don’t often deal with OB-GYN cases and I certainly haven’t encountered abortionists or their not-so-little industry.”
Looking at Jack appraisingly, Liz said, “But there’s more to all this, isn’t there?” Her arms around him, she waited for an answer.
Taking a shuddering breath, Jack began, “When we first met and were having our ‘getting to know you’ conversation, I told you about Amy. Do you remember?”
Liz nodded. “Yes. She’s the physician you dated for over a year in Denver, right?”
“Yes. Do you also remember me telling you that she was the only woman other than Ellie and now you that I’d been intimate with?”
Liz’s brows knotted as she tried to figure out where this conversation was going. “I do. You dated for a long time and…”
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“And there came a night after we’d gone out that I couldn’t—or rather didn’t want to—say ‘no’ or ‘wait’ to her. Ellie had been gone for almost a decade, and Amy and I had been seriously dating for over a year. She’d been ready to take that step for some time. I loved her and I’d been feeling alone and like half a man for too long. My guard was down, and it just happened. What I didn’t know is that when I asked her if she was using some kind of protection and she said yes is that rather than meaning that she was on some form of birth control, she was just playing the odds.”
Liz paled. “You don’t have to go any further, Jack. I’m sorry that I opened an old wound.”
Jack kissed Liz’s forehead. “You didn’t open the wound. What happened at the hospital did. All you’re trying to do is help by listening. I need to finish this, so you understand what’s going on with me. After that night, a month went by and Amy and I didn’t see each other. We never slept together again. At first, I just passed it off to my crazy schedule, but then I began to wonder if I’d somehow disappointed her. I was serious enough about the relationship that I invited her out to dinner with the intent of asking her to marry me. She had something quite different in mind for that night. When I ‘popped the question,’ she started to laugh and commented that I really was on another planet. She’d come that night to break things off with me. Almost as an afterthought, after telling me how much she hated my schedule, hated my need for time alone, and called me a prude for making such a big deal about sex she mentioned, with some satisfaction, that it was good she’d taken care of things. That way, she assured me, neither of us would have a ball and chain to carry around as a reminder of a mistake.
“That’s what Amy called our unborn child, a ball and chain,” Jack took a shuddering breath, “and that’s how I found out that our baby, my baby, had been wiped out of existence at four weeks gestation. It seems that fathers have no say in such matters. She never told me. Instead, she just visited a clinic and dealt with ‘it.’” Jack was silent for a few moments before adding, “My son or daughter would have been sixteen years old this year, and when that young woman died, in pain and pleading with me to save her, I just couldn’t…”
Liz pulled Jack close and rubbed the back of his neck as he slumped against her. She had no idea what she could say to ease his pain. She knew her husband well. He was a moral, honorable man who revered life. While he’d perfected the art of withdrawing behind the physician’s mask when dealing with the loss of patients, this loss was different. It hit him where he was the most vulnerable, a place deep inside him where he carried unresolved guilt and pain. She couldn’t imagine what last week had put him through, especially when he’d been the one to speak with the parents. “Jack, honey, what happened with Amy wasn’t…”
Jack pulled away and looked at her incredulously. “Wasn’t my fault? Liz, that child was half mine. I wasn’t a believer in any true sense of the word at the time, so I didn’t feel bound by what the Bible has to say about sex. Yet I was old-fashioned enough to believe that sex in the absence of commitment and love was an empty pursuit, probably thanks to my father’s antics. I thought Amy shared my hopes for the future and making love with her was an extension of that belief. Regardless of what happened later, I was still a physician. I knew that there was a possibility that being with her might result in pregnancy. Yet I never called to ask her. I just got involved in my own little world, and by the time we had dinner that night, I was far too late. It’s not like I was seventeen years old and scared stiff. I was in my late thirties, and I would have welcomed that child. I, um, I
grieved that child.”
“Dear heart,” Liz whispered, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Jack hugged Liz. “Thank you. Needless to say, that ended things between Amy and me. Up until you came into my life, I hadn’t thought about that night in years. Even then, I’d never really wondered what that child might be like as a teenager or as an adult. In fact, up until Thursday when I drove home, I’d never really regretted not having children. Now,” he stroked her cheek with his fingertips, “I find myself wishing we’d met a decade earlier. I know there’s more to it than that,” Jack grinned sheepishly, “namely that Eric was still alive, and you were married. Apart from that, I wouldn’t have wanted you to carry our child if it would have endangered your life, but you’d have made beautiful babies.”
“No, Jack,” Liz lay back against the pillows and pulled him down with her, “we’d have made beautiful babies. And as you often remind me, nothing is impossible with God.” She kissed him with the deep love that was in her heart. “Let’s keep praying about this. I know there are a lot of children out there who need a daddy like I
know you’d be.”
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“And a mommy like I know you’d be.” Jack put his arms around Liz and closed his eyes. “I love holding you like this.”
Liz cuddled close to Jack, and as the sun rose, he finally relaxed into sleep. His face was less taut with stress and grief than it had been, and Liz prayed that talking about it had helped with the burden he was carrying. When she was sure he was sleeping soundly, she got up, poured a cup of the coffee she’d brewed earlier, wrapped herself in a blanket, and went outside on the deck. Another glorious day was upon them, and she wanted to begin it by talking with her Lord.

Fifteen hours later, Liz was back on the deck, enjoying the lingering rays of the setting sun reflecting on the water. It was warm, calm, and she was happily settled in the Adirondack glider with Jack’s arms around her. It had been a restful day. After sleeping until almost noon, Jack looked and felt better. After he’d gotten up, they’d gone into Tofte, had lunch, and afterward, returned to their bed. Their loving had been slow and healing, then they’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms in a puddle of bright sunshine. Later, they’d enjoyed dinner in the lodge’s dining room and had just gotten back from another walk along the shore a few minutes before. Cuddling together, they watched as darkness descended over the lake, both of them captivated by the lazy movement of the water and the star-frost glaze on the tree-lined shore.
Liz was almost asleep when Jack shook her gently. “Hey, wake up, I don’t think you want to miss this.”
Blinking her eyes, Liz extricated herself from Jack’s arms and sat up straight. Vertical bands of green and yellow with occasional flashes of red and orange danced across the dark northern sky in an ever-changing spectacle of light and color. Liz had seldom seen such a remarkable display of the aurora and never at this time of year. “Jack, this is amazing. I’ve never seen the northern lights like this outside the deep winter months. Have you read anything about unusual sunspot activity?”
“I’ve never seen anything like this, apart from one late October night in Lake Louise, Alberta. To answer your question, no, I’ve not read anything that would explain what we’re seeing. It’s…”
“Shhh!” Liz whispered, “listen.”
Through the deep silence of the midnight hour, came a faraway crinkling sound, like someone rolling plastic wrap into a tight ball.
Jack frowned and whispered back, “What’s that noise?”
“That’s the northern lights, the aurora.”
Jack looked at his wife like she’d grown a second head. “I’m serious. What’s that noise?”
Liz squeezed his hand. “I’m not making this up. When it’s really quiet, you can hear the aurora.”
Jack’s irritation turned to awe. “You’re kidding?”
“No, I’m not kidding. Do you see anything else that would account for the noise you’re hearing?”
“No, but I’ve never…” At a loss for words, Jack whispered, “Wow!”

Liz squeezed Jack’s hand as they drove back up Highway 1 late Sunday afternoon. “You’re awfully quiet. Are you okay?”
Jack smiled at Liz fondly, lifted her palm to his lips, and kissed it. “I’m fine. I was just thanking God for you and for your wisdom in suggesting our weekend away.” He glanced sideways, his eyes meeting hers. “Do you have any idea of how much I love you?”
Liz smiled back at Jack. “Almost as much as I love you. It was wonderful to have some time away from work and to just be alone together.” Her smile faded. “Jack, about what happened last week. Are you sure you’re ready to go back to the hospital, or should you be taking more time off?”
Pulling over to the side of the road, Jack undid his seat belt, leaned over, and kissed Liz. “Thank you for your caring heart and your concern. Yes, I’m ready to go back to what I do, to what I have loved doing for years. I can’t promise that the same thing won’t happen if similar circumstances arise, but for now, I can feel the strong pull of the healer inside me clamoring for me to get back to work.” He kissed her again, lingeringly. “It’s all thanks to you. I don’t know what I’d do without you anymore.”

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“God willing, it will be years before either one of us has to figure out what we’d do without the other.” Liz cupped his cheek in her palm. “Let’s go home. I’m looking forward to one more quiet evening before the hospital figures out you’re back. We need to think of a good way to thank Zach for the peace of this last weekend. Any ideas?”
“I was thinking that I’d offer to take his place on the BWSR fast-water rescue training over Memorial Day weekend. It means I’ll be away for most of the weekend, but,” Jack smiled, “there’s actually no reason that you can’t ride along if you don’t mind sharing my tent and battling a few mosquitos.”
“A few mosquitos?” Liz questioned suspiciously.
“I’m not kidding. They start hatching in mid-May, but four weeks later, about the middle of June, it will take an actual search and rescue emergency to get me into the woods.”
Grinning, Liz nodded. “In that case, tell Zach you’ll take his place, and I’ll keep your sleeping bag warm while you’re out training responders to keep the world safe for unseasoned campers, canoeists, and crooks. Only, don’t expend too much effort on that last category, okay?”

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