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Gracie's Surrender

By Blossom Turner

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MARCH 1879
SHENANDOAH VALLEY

“You’re turning down another marriage proposal?” Ma put her hands to her temples and rubbed. “But, Gracie, he’s such a fine young man.”
The walls of the parlor room closed in on Gracie. Why did men continually misread the situation when she gave them no encouragement at all? It was so frustrating.
“You’re eighteen now and quite old enough to become a wife. And George is an upstanding—”
“I never meant to encourage George. And I certainly didn’t think he was about to propose. We barely know each other.”
“What do you mean you barely know him? Our families go way back,” Pa said.
“But I’ve never looked at George that way.” It was time to tell them a truth they may never understand. Especially Ma. Gracie lifted her head high knotting her trembling hands together. “I have no intention of ever marrying.” She added a firmness to her voice she did not feel.
“Why ever not?” Pa’s bushy brows knit together. “Thought most every girl looked forward to that day.”
That familiar memory came flooding in. Would Rosina’s outstretched bony fingers forever haunt her? “Well, not this one. I like George, but I don’t love him. I want to devote my life to Jesus and—”
Ma’s hands flew into the air. “For heaven’s sakes, there’s that Jesus talk again.” She turned to Pa and wagged her finger in his face. “This is your fault. One-by-one, every one of our daughters have followed in your footsteps, but this is taking it way too far. Set her right.” She pointed at Gracie.
Rather than prolong the agony, Gracie took a deep breath. She might as well get it all out. If they weren’t happy with her now, they sure wouldn’t be after she told them the rest of her plans.
Pa moved across the room to stand in front of her and gently placed his hands on her upper arms. “Tell us what you’re thinking, girl, neither Ma, nor I understand. A woman can love Jesus and be married, too.”
“I know that, Pa, but I feel God is calling me to move to Richmond and work in the orphanage.”
“Richmond?” Ma’s voice rose a few octaves. “It’s not bad enough you don’t want to marry George, but you want to move to Richmond as well?”
“Please give me a moment to explain.” Gracie pointed to the parlor chairs. Dear God, please help Ma understand. I don’t want to hurt her. “Can we sit?”
Pa put his arm around Ma and guided her to a chair. “She is an adult, Doris. We should at least bend an ear.” Ma slumped down into the chair and turned her head to look out the window. Pa chose the chair beside her and gave Gracie his full attention.
“Ma, remember when we visited Grandmother and Grandfather when I was twelve and I met that street urchin named Rosina?”
Ma nodded her head. “I’ll forever regret letting you and Bryon go back and try to find that child the next day. You’ve never been the same.”
“I’m not the same…that experience and then revisiting the orphanage with Amelia and Bryon again last year, has deeply impacted my life. The need is so great and there’s not enough hands to—”
Ma’s head snapped toward Pa. “See. Every time I let one of my children go to Richmond for a visit, they come back with the fandangled idea of moving there.” Her eyes blazed as she turned back to Gracie. “And what about a family of your own? How are you going to do that without a husband?”
Pa reached out to take Ma’s hand. She pulled it free and turned her head back toward the window. He nodded at Gracie to continue.
“I don’t want to be distracted by men when there are so many children in need.”
Ma let out a loud harrumph.
“Besides, weren’t you just talking about how Grandmother is grieving Grandfather so terribly? I could cheer up her lonely days.”
“Doris, you did say you were worried about your mother. Amelia confirmed she hasn’t been doing very well since your father passed. We could let Gracie give the orphanage a trial run and give your mother some much-needed company at the same time.”
“Well, I never!” Ma got up from her chair and pointed a finger. “You’re siding with her. Was all this cooked up ahead of time—you two and that God of yours?”
“No.” They both answered in unison as she marched from the room. The stomp of her feet could be heard on every step up to her bedroom before her door slammed shut.
Gracie’s hands scrunched her dress tightly. She relaxed and smoothed out the wrinkles. “Pa, you understand, don’t you?” She stared at the floor planks. Would he be disappointed in her as well?
“I’m not sure I do.”
Gracie looked up into his kind brown eyes.
“But far be it from me to get in the way of what God is telling you to do. Your ma on the other hand…” He rubbed his work worn hands back and forth on his brow. “…she’s going to need some time. When were you hoping to go?”
“As soon as possible. Thought it would be easier for George if I’m not around. And I’ve already secured an invitation from Grandmother to stay as long as I like.”
“Must you cut the tie so abruptly? Your ma’s heart is going to take a beating to let her baby girl go.”
“She still has Jeanette and weren’t you both just willing to marry me off to George?”
“But George is a ten-minute buggy ride away. Richmond is another story.”
“I’ll promise to return home more often.”
“Well, I’ll be holding you to that, girlie. And don’t worry about your ma, I’ll talk to her.” He stood. “She may not be tickled pink, but she’ll come around. Just be sure this is something you really feel you need to do.”
“Thanks, Pa.” Gracie flew across the room into his arms and planted a big kiss on the top of his brow.
* * *
The sky was as blue as forget-me-nots with the morning sunshine teasing the buds on the trees to respond to its glory. A beautiful spring day to travel. Gracie settled in her seat anxious for the train to leave. A thrill pulsed through.
A lurch and a chug and they were off, her new adventure unfolding. Each mile the train rumbled down the track away from the Shenandoah Valley, Gracie’s excitement grew. Why did she feel as if her life was finally about to begin?
“May I sit here?”
Gracie turned from the window to see a strapping young man with a wheedling smile. Instinct told her to keep her distance, but politeness forced a response. “I haven’t paid for two seats.” She laughed to hide her nervousness. The last thing she needed was attention from any man.
A distinguished gentleman from across the aisle looked their way and raised his eyebrows. What had she done that was inappropriate? Should she have told the stranger to sit elsewhere? Having been raised on the farm, she had little knowledge of worldly etiquette.
“John Deleware.” The stranger tipped his cowboy hat in her direction and slid into the seat. His smile widened and he moved a tad too close.
Gracie turned toward the window and gazed out. She didn’t want to be rude, but nor did she want to encourage him.
“May I have the pleasure of your name?”
Gracie sighed heavily. She hated to be discourteous. “Gracie…I mean Grace Williams.”
“I like Gracie a far cry better than the formal Grace. I would wager a bet, that your personality most likely suits Gracie?” He pulled out a small can of chewing tobacco and popped some in his mouth.
“I suppose it does.” She answered timidly, not comfortable with the stranger’s overt interest. Why did her looks always have to be a magnet? She had prayed she would make it to Richmond without undue attention.
“So where are you coming from and where are you headed?” he asked between chews. He turned momentarily toward the aisle and spat. A rivulet of spittle hit the back of the seat in front of him. He did nothing to remove it. Gracie took the opportunity to look back out the window, hoping to ignore him.
“Well?” he said, not taking the hint.
She turned his way. “Mr. Deleware, please don’t take this personally, but I have a lot on my mind. And I would prefer to be left alone.”
“Oh, too hoity-toity for the likes of the working cowboy, hey? I know a brush off when I hear one.”
“It’s not that. I’ve chosen to give my life in service to God and—”
A loud mocking laugh filled the air. “Your life in service to God?” His voice doubled in volume. “What, a nun?”
Gracie’s cheeks bloomed hot. “No, not a nun—”
“What a waste of God-given beauty. You’re meant to make some man very happy, not be closeted away in some monastery somewhere.”
“I do believe the lady was politely asking you to leave her alone,” the man from across the aisle said.
Gracie nodded.
Mr. Delaware swiveled in his seat. “What’s it to you?”
The man slid across the seat and stood. He removed his top hat and still stood a head above Mr. Delaware, who had also popped up.
“What? Are you her guardian?”
“As a matter of fact, I’m her brother. Now, move along, cowboy.” His deep voice resonated authority.
Mr. Delaware looked back and forth between the two. “A nun is not worth my time anyway.” He spat out a large gob of chewing tobacco and sauntered down the aisle to his original seat.
“Thank you, brother.” Gracie smiled up at him.
He leaned close. His sweet breath fanned her face. “I overheard you saying you were giving your life in service to God. I’m a Christian too, so that makes you my sister in Christ.” He straightened and looked down at her. “Best not give that smile so freely away to strangers. Offers the wrong impression.”
Gracie could feel the smile melt from her face and her ire rise like steam from the train engine. A girl couldn’t even be friendly in this world without men taking it the wrong way.
He slid back into his seat without a sideways glance in her direction. Much to her chagrin his strong jawline and formidable countenance drew Gracie’s interest the rest of the way to Richmond. She found herself peeking his way one too many times. A man without a wedding ring who was not bent on making her acquaintance was a rare find indeed. They could be friends. Too bad their paths would never meet again.
* * *
Matthew kept his eyes riveted to the landscape out the train window. He could see nothing but a blur. Who would let their young and beautiful daughter travel unchaperoned? Was she really that naïve she thought she could smile that infectiousness smile and not draw the men in like the bell chime of a Sunday morning steeple?
Women who looked like her were not the kind that gave their life in service to God. They were the kind that got snatched up and married off in record time. If she was not going to be a nun, who was she and what was her plan? And why didn’t she have a guardian with her?
It bothered him that he wanted to turn and stare at her like most of the men had done when she entered the train—married and unmarried alike. She had smiled at everyone and stopped long enough to chat with a little girl sitting beside her mama. That was when her big doe-like eyes came alive and sparkled with joy. Though he had wanted to be immune to the attraction he felt, he was not. Her dark wavy hair was plaited in a braid that swung around to the front and hung long down her torso. Her hair style and clothing were not the latest fashion, but all was eclipsed by the petite vision of loveliness she made. Slim, delicate bones, with curves in all the right places.
He shook his head against the pull and closed his eyes. When was the last time a woman had consumed his thoughts? He was prepared to wait for the one God had for him, not get side-tracked by mere physical attraction. He knew better than that. How shallow of him. He ventured a sideways glance hoping to dispel the odd sensation causing the erratic beat of his heart. Her profile was turned toward the window, so he took a moment to do what almost every man on the train had already done...enjoy God’s creation of perfection. Round, bright cheeks that looked petal soft, delicate earlobes, and a button mouth that was smiling at something through the window. Did she smile all the time?
Before he could avert his eyes, she glanced his way. He quickly turned his head back to the window. Richmond could not come fast enough.
He did not look again. The train jostled and screeched to a stop. He wasted no time in gathering his few belongings and stood to leave, as did she. The gentleman in him bid he allow her to go first. “After you,” he said.
“Thank you, brother,” she said, with some definite sass on her lips.
For the first time in a long time he felt an uncontrollable urge to kiss that smile right off that generous mouth. Instead, he watched a coachman hail her over and the two of them disappear into the crowd. Good thing. What was happening to him, this sudden attraction to a perfect stranger? She was perfect and it irritated him to the core. Any longer in her presence and he would’ve done something completely out of character—like ask her to dinner.

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