Selah's Painted Dream
By Susan Count
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Time to go already?” Selah groaned. “Do I have to?” Grandpa checked his jeans pockets for his truck keys. “There’s more to life than riding Sweet Dream.”
She rubbed the black horse’s withers. “She is my life. I’d rather ride than anything.”
“I know, sunshine. Here, I’ll take her.” He took the lead rope from Selah. “I’ll turn her out while you run, get your stuff, and load up.”
Selah grasped Dream by the halter and kissed her nose. “You’re the prettiest, sweetest, smartest mare ever. I’ll miss you so much.” She dashed up the familiar, well-worn stairs of Grandpa’s farmhouse and burst into her room. The galloping white horse
fabric on the overstuffed cushion in the window-seat reading nook was worn thin. The window overlooked the pasture where her Sweet Dream grazed.
After stuffing her things into her backpack, she paused at the door. She kissed her finger and touched the nose of a paint horse’s
photograph hanging on her wall. “I love you—always.” She sighed sadness. “Where are you, Buddy?”
Her eyes swept the room. This place felt more like her room than her room at home did. Even though she could only be there on weekends, it was where her heart’s treasures were stored. Her grandmother’s horse books, which had been left to Selah, and the Breyer horse collection covered every shelf. She was convinced someday they would want to make a model of Sweet Dream. Someday—when they were famous. Selah shut the door gently on her dreams.
Tossing the pack weighed down with books into the truck, Selah leaned her head back, sighed with great contentment, and drifted off to sleep.
Grandpa shook her awake when they arrived home. “You sure play hard to sleep that sound. Makes for a quiet trip.”
“Thanks for the ride, Grandpa. You gonna come in for dinner?” “Not this week. Katie’s making my favorite.”
“Pulled pork.” Selah beamed. “That’s really nice.”
“I love to eat. I’ll see you Friday.” He leaned over and kissed
the top of her blonde head.
“Bye, Grandpa. You’re the best grandpa ever.”
“Are we celebrating?” Selah’s mouth watered as the scent of warm rolls drew her into the house. Her family gathered around their special occasion, dining room table. She ruffled the hair of both her little brothers as she walked around the table.
Dad tugged off his tie and gestured for her to sit. “Indeed we are. I have some incredible news to share. Things have worked out better than I could ever have hoped or imagined.”
Selah returned his grin. Life was already amazing. She spent nearly every weekend at Grandpa’s farm riding her horse.
“Your mom and I didn’t want you to worry so we didn’t mention it, but the company I work for went up for sale right after the New Year.” Selah’s dad sat tall with his broad shoulders back. He rested his carving knife beside the platter of roast duck. “It looked like I would be unemployed by summer. But great news!” He smiled at each one in turn. “An offer’s already been made on the company, and the prospective new owners have promised jobs to any of us willing to move to Austin.”
“Move?” Instant panic struck Selah as her world exploded like a crystal horse figurine crashing onto the stable’s rock floor. Pins and needles pierced her skin like the shards from the shattered crystal. Her eyelids fluttered closed and she leaned into the privacy they provided while she fought for air and denied reality.
Her little brother, Davy, had an equal but opposite reaction. His freckles seemed to explode all over his face at the idea. “Move! Yay! We’ll live near Uncle Christopher and Anderson.”
She flattened her potatoes with her fork. “What about my friends? I’m a teenager now. I have a life!”
Dad flashed a puzzled look. “There’re girls your age in Austin. I promise.”
Mom chimed in, “Plus, great music. Great food. Great countryside.”
Selah narrowed her blue eyes as disbelief caused her mouth to drop open. Shock stuck in her throat.
“We’re lucky this opportunity came up because most of the jobs I’m qualified to get would have moved us to Georgia or California. Without a job, I can’t feed you or feed that horse of yours.”
Selah leapt to her feet. “It takes Uncle Christopher three hours to get to the farm. Can’t you find a job here?” Her pale-pink fingernails dug into her fists.
“That’s enough, young lady.” Dad wagged his fork at her.
Her mouth pulled into a pucker. “Moving would wreck my whole life.”
“I know it’s a shock, but it’s the best thing for the family.”
“I can’t move to Austin. Not now, not ever!”
Dad rose from his chair, slapped his napkin on the table, and
towered over her. Both her brothers gawked at her outburst. A stricken look contorted Mom’s face as she wrapped herself tighter in her thin sweater.
Selah frowned at them. Her jaw tensed and locked.
Dad pointed up the stairs. “Take your disrespectful behavior to your room.”
In her head, Selah bellowed her outrage. She raced up the stairs as her tears gushed. She wanted to slam the door off its hinges. “This can’t be happening. How could they do this to me?”
She pressed her back against the closed door and slid to the floor. Tilting her chin up, she thumped her head against the wood with each word. “Horrible. Awful. Terrible. Wicked. Mean. Cruel.”
Curled into a ball on her bed, Selah flicked her gaze to the door when she heard a soft knock and then back to staring at the
carpet. After a minute, the knob turned, and the door opened just enough for Davy and Michael to slip inside.
Davy approached the bed. “Selah. I made you a sandwich.” His voice rushed out quiet as he held a paper-towel wrapped bundle up to her. “Peanut butter and strawberry jelly—your favorite. I even cut the crust off for you.”
A sad smile lifted her mouth’s drooping corners. “Thank you—you’re the best. I’m not very hungry, but it was so sweet of you to make it.”
With total concentration, Michael set a superhero plastic cup on her table. “I poured you some milk. Almost all by myself. Davy helped.”
“All by yourself—for me. Thank you.”
Michael grinned and rushed to hug her. “Don’t be sad, Selah.” “You can keep your horse in my room in our new house.” Davy
rested his hand on her shoulder as Michael shifted to occupy her lap. “Michael and I talked about it—didn’t we, buddy?”
Michael nodded with great enthusiasm. His soft red hair brushed her cheek.
“Michael and I can share a room so there will be a room for your horse.”
“Guys, I love you for trying, but Sweet Dream can’t live in a house.”
“Sure she can.” Davy scrunched his face in puzzlement. “We can get her special rubber shoes so she doesn’t hurt the floor.”
Michael tilted his head to look up at her and offered his helpful idea. “She can use the backyard for a potty.”
With that, a smile from her heart spread across her face. “You’re the best little brothers—ever.” She reached out to Davy and drew him into a hug.
A few minutes after the two mini superheroes headed off to get ready for bed, another soft knock pled for her attention. “Selah, honey. May I come in?”
She forced herself to roll off the bed. She peered around the door but kept it safely between them.
“I brought you some dinner. Mac and cheese.” While her mom’s sweet tone comforted Selah, her eyes looked red, puffy, and troubled. Selah reached to take the glass of milk and the foil-covered plate. “Thank you. I’m not sure I can eat anything, but it does smell good.”
“Try and eat a little something.”
She nodded.
“You’re not a child anymore, and we should have told you
about your dad losing his job. We were so worried and then overwhelmingly relieved when this new job opened up that we didn’t consider how much this would affect you. We feel terrible we didn’t prepare you better for the changes coming our way.” Mom tilted her head and searched Selah’s eyes.
“Moving is the worst news ever. It changes my whole life. I won’t be able to ride Dream as much, and that will wreck my training schedule. I wanted to be able to compete at nationals this year with Jordan. I won’t have any friends at school—none.”
“We don’t have good choices. Come here.” After a long hug, Mom said, “I’ve got to get the boys tucked in. Things always look better in the morning.”
One of a hundred horse posters that plastered the walls and back of her door slipped off as her mom eased the door shut. Selah restuck it to the door. She lifted the foil-covered delivery and sniffed the mac and cheese. It enticed her enough to take a bite, but one was enough so she covered it back up and set it beside the sandwich.
She’d no sooner changed into her pajamas than a firm rap landed on her door. The door opened a crack, and a disembodied hand entered holding a pink bowl.
Curious, Selah tiptoed to the door and peered into the bowl. Ice cream. Vanilla ice cream—her favorite. Chocolate and caramel syrup swirled across the snowy mound, and whipped cream topped the whole deliciousness. “Thanks, Daddy.”
When she lifted the bowl, the arm disappeared, and his head appeared. “You’re welcome, sunshine. We love you. Keep your eye on your blessings as we go through this challenge, okay?”
Her mouth full of sweetness and her eyes full of sadness, she nodded. If only the cold in her mouth would soothe the stabbing pains in her heart.
The next week passed in a blur. Selah could tell by her quiz grades, she hadn’t heard anything in her classes. No matter how she tried, she couldn’t seem to force herself into the present. Maybe because she knew how much her reality would hurt and she couldn’t face it. She wanted her happy self back. Being mad at everyone and everything was no fun, but she felt powerless to stop.
On Friday when Grandpa came after school to pick her up, his neighbor, Miss Katie, rode with him.
What’s she doing here? Selah grumbled as she shoved aside Grandpa’s barn coat and muck boots to make room in the back seat. Katie’s silver hair was the longest Selah had ever seen on an
old woman. Usually, it was tied in a tight ponytail, but today, it hung in flowing ripples.
Selah’s eyes shifted from the back of Grandpa’s head to Katie’s as she followed their conversation about Katie’s sheep and her artwork all the way home. Grandpa is laughing at everything she says, and she’s not said a single funny thing yet. Nauseating. Hello, remember me?
“I love our driveway, Grandpa,” Selah interrupted the gaiety in the front seat. “I always feel like we’ve driven into my secret hideaway. The rest of the world doesn’t exist when I’m here.” Pine needles sprinkled the roof of Grandpa’s house nestled among the trees.
He eyeballed her in the rearview mirror, and Katie glanced briefly over her shoulder. They both smiled at her, and then at each other.
He stopped his old Chevy and tore himself away from his conversation with Miss Katie about planting radishes long enough to say, “Selah, go get settled in.” He twisted in the seat to look back at her. “All the animals will be excited to see you. They think life’s pretty dull without you around.”
“I could stay forever.” She waited for a response, but they were already talking about rosebushes. The moment Selah opened the truck door, Skunk erupted into a barking frenzy. “I’m the life of the party.” She threw her arms wide to wrap the black and white Aussie dog in a hug. Then a little louder, she said, “I miss them. I wish every day I could be here.” A quick glance toward Grandpa told her he wasn’t paying any attention.
His arm draped across the back of the seat, and his focus rested on Katie. “I’m going to drop Katie at home, and I’ll be back after a while.” Selah’s shoulders drooped, and she caught a gnat before she
thought to close her mouth. As Grandpa drove away, she stood
where he left her and fished the gnat out. One hand rested limply on Skunk’s head. “Will you look at that? He drops me at the curb like I’m baggage. How did my life go from perfect to rot overnight?” She scuffed the toes of her pink boots in the dust as she trudged to the house. “What just happened here?”
Pearl met her at the door and meowed a soft welcome. Selah dropped her pink pack on the wooden kitchen chair and scooped up the cat, tucking its softness under her chin. Closing her eyes, Selah relaxed into the rumbling purr. “Grandpa’s letting you in the house now. Took ya long enough. Told ya he was a pushover.” Long, cream-colored fur, the same color as Selah’s hair, clung to her hand. Coaxing Pearl onto a cushion, Selah stepped out onto the porch and lifted her voice. “Dream!”
Hooves pounded as Sweet Dream cantered in from the far pasture. Selah ran to meet the black mare. Throwing her arms around the horse’s neck, she breathed in the spring-grass scent of her. “It’s not dark. We have time for a ride.” Faster than a pan of fresh-baked cookies can disappear, she tacked up and rode out.
As the absolute beauty of spring in The Canaan Grasslands lifted Selah’s troubled heart, she urged Sweet Dream into a canter. Her joy in the moment soared.
They eased to a stop on the knoll where she’d first seen Dream almost a year ago. The trapped horse would’ve been devoured by buzzards if Selah hadn’t found her when she did. “It makes me so happy to be here. I can almost forget what is about to happen to me.” She leaned forward onto the saddle pommel and slipped her hands around the horse’s neck as far as she could reach. “To us.”
Maybe it was the fresh air. Maybe it was because when she rode she was in the moment, but as she enjoyed the meadow, all things became very clear in her mind. Selah had a plan.
“Grandpa. He’s my ticket. He’ll do anything for me.” Her fingers fidgeted with the reins. I talked him into a cat. Who but me could’ve talked him into keeping Sweet Dream? She moved a hand to cover her heart. When he sees how hurt and upset I am, he will surely suggest I come live with him. It’s the only way this can work.
When she rode back into the farmyard, she checked for Grandpa’s blue truck in the driveway. “Not back yet! Good grief.” After pulling off the saddle, she rubbed the mare dry with a towel.
Selah’s empty stomach drew her toward the house. She sniffed the dribble of milk in the carton and checked out a wedge of moldy cheese. “Guess, it’s PBJ.” But the loaf of bread smelled suspiciously sour.
When the truck rumbled into the yard, she popped out to greet Grandpa. “Nice shirt,” she called to him. “Pearl snaps. Aren’t you fancy?” “Katie got it for me. I like it. You have to change things up
sometimes or you get stale.”
“Katie buys you shirts?” She put on her best are-you-kidding-
me look, but he ignored it.
“Bet you’re hungry,” he called, gathering the grocery bags. “Did
you get in a ride?” He settled the bags on the counter and dug through them with total concentration. Flipping the cap off his always neat, white hair, he pulled out and dumped a bag of frozen vegetables and chicken in the frying pan.
“I’m starving.” She handed him the dried basil. “We had a super ride. She is awesome. She behaves beautifully even though she hasn’t had any work during the week. Imagine how great we could be if I could ride her every day?”
Grandpa squinted at her and tilted his head. A wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows.
He knows I’m up to something. Somehow, my moving to the farm has to be Grandpa’s idea. She whispered in Pearl’s ear.“We can’t make him suspicious.”
He slid the hot food to their plates, but before he sat down, she rattled on. “It’s so great to be here with you, Grandpa. Do you miss me when I’m gone?”
“Sounds like a loaded question. You’ve only been gone five days, but yes, I miss you.”
She flashed her sweetest perfect-teeth smile as she settled into her spot at the kitchen table. “Dad says our family has to move to Austin.” She dropped on him what she hoped was a shock bomb.
“Yes, I knew it was a possibility.”
Her voice shot up an octave. “You knew?”
“You’ll like living in Austin.”
The milk in her glass sloshed onto her hand. “How could I
when it’s so far from you and the farm?”
“You’re going to have to find a way to make the best of it.” “Why can’t I live here?”
Grandpa choked on his rice. “A girl your age needs to live with
her family. Can you see the look on your brothers’ faces if you told them you were not moving with them?”
Ouch. “I hadn’t thought about that.” They would be upset. “But girls my age go off to boarding school and into training camps for the Olympics.”
“I’m too old to raise you. You’re a lot of work, you know.” Grandpa put a forkful in his mouth and stared at her.
“I sure would miss them. But you need somebody here with you.” She waved toward the refrigerator. “There isn’t even any food.”
“I don’t need much, and Katie feeds me dinner most nights.”
She’s the problem. “Katie feeds you.” Selah glared in bewilderment. You don’t need me?