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Promise for Tomorrow

By Michelle De Bruin

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Chapter 1
“You know I’d do anything to help you.” Pete’s words rang with the brand of loyalty found in friendships that deepened over time and encouraged through the darkest of days.
A grin spread across Logan De Witt’s mouth.
“But I can’t. Not this time. Sorry, buddy.”
“Wh…what?” Logan stifled a groan. Stuttering again. That irritating stutter had left him alone for months. He sure didn’t want it returning now. Not when his fiancée needed a place to stay, and fast. He’d barely survived these three days following his Christmas proposal. Gulping, he tried again. “What do you mean?” Much better. He drew in a slow breath.
A smile burst onto Pete’s face. “Anna is expecting a baby. Due in July.”
“Wow. Congratulations.” Pete’s news blew air into Logan and sucked it out of him all at the same time. His friend was going to be a father. How terrific for Pete and Anna. And yet Logan still waited for his turn. It would come someday, someday soon now that Karen had agreed to marry him.
“We’re making preparations for our extra room to get remodeled.”
Logan glanced through the shadowed doorway of the Silver Grove parsonage’s spare bedroom. A ladder filled one corner of the room.
“The bed and one chair will need to go back to Anna’s mother so we can make space for a cradle.” Pete’s grin threatened to split his face. He turned serious as he refilled his cup with coffee. “Why do you want Karen to move out of your house?”
He should’ve known Pete would ask. If he hadn’t been so distracted caring for a sick cow this morning, he may have come up with a decent answer. “I ... uh ... well.” If he could just lose that ridiculous stutter once and for all. He cleared his throat. “Boarding the teacher hasn’t worked out ... uh, like I thought.”
The statement might sound a little vague, but at least it was true. Boarding the teacher hadn’t gone at all as he expected. Miss Karen Millerson lived at the De Witt farm so his grieving sister could have a friend. But what happened instead? Tillie fought with Karen while Logan fell in love with her. The girls had since made up and were pretty good friends, but Logan’s heart hadn’t improved one bit. And now he had a mammoth problem on his hands.
If he dared to groan he would. But Pete watched him with a twinkle in his eye and a slight lift to the corners of his mouth.
Logan’s whole face heated.
“I see.” Pete’s amused voice said he saw way more than Logan wanted him to.
Logan shifted in his chair. “Look. You answered my question. Karen can’t board with you for the second semester. That’s what I came here to find out. I guess ... well ... I guess Mama and I must find another option.” Logan stood and forced a grin. “Thanks for the coffee. Tell Anna I said ‘hello’ when she returns from her shopping.”
Pete nodded and opened his mouth to speak.
Logan left the house before he got the chance. The comments were probably more of Pete’s not-so-subtle hints at matchmaking. He’d been shameless in the attempt when Karen first came to town. Logan’s consistent resistance mellowed him a bit until Pete quit voicing his thoughts. But they were still on his mind. Logan saw it in his eyes whenever Karen’s name came up in conversation.
He didn’t need Pete’s matchmaking attempts anyway. He’d done just fine on his own falling so hard for a young woman he couldn’t regain his footing.
Wouldn’t Pete love to know. Logan glanced back at the parsonage. A trail of smoke lifted from the chimney. Anna’s white curtains graced the windows. A Christmas wreath hung on the door. What a wonderful place to start a family. Maybe the Oswell City parsonage quietly awaiting his return would see a bedroom remade into a nursery. The pattering of little feet in the hall. Childish laughter filling the rooms.
His chest ached. He didn’t dare spill the news of his engagement to Pete. Not before he’d told his own family, and that couldn’t happen until Karen moved out. Boy, was he in a mess. One of his own making. This was probably the rightful consequence for him proposing while Karen was still a member of his household. He should’ve thought that one through a little better. Here he was, Reverend Logan De Witt, pastor of Oswell City Community Church and preacher for Meadow Creek’s Sunday afternoon services, trapped by his own attempt to live his life in faith.
At the farm, the setting sun cast glowing rays of golden rose across the pure white snow. Logan banged metal pails around with more agitation than necessary as he did the evening milking. He usually hummed a tune, a hymn from the previous Sunday service, as he worked. But no song of praise resonated in his heart tonight.
The apostle Paul knew what he was talking about when he wrote that there should not be any appearance of immorality among believers. Not even a hint. But Logan’s failure to remember the wise counsel would soon plunge the community’s school teacher, his sister, and his own dear mother into irreparable scandal. If he could just go back in time and try again, he’d make sure and catch on quicker to how much of a gift Karen had always been to him. Then he would have secured other living arrangements for her before he moved forward in giving her the courtship she deserved.
But no, he’d messed it all up. Logan finished his work and headed for the house.
The sight of the petite blonde wearing a floral apron and setting the table brought a wave of reality crashing over him. He must tell her about Pete’s answer. How he hated to dash Karen’s hopes. She’d devised the perfect plan of discreetly moving from the De Witt farm to the Bettens’ home one evening after supper during the Christmas break. Then school would resume. Logan was to call on her Sunday afternoons following the Meadow Creek church service. In a month or two, the engagement ring would abide on her finger. All would be smooth and joyful.
Logan slumped as he sloshed water over his hands at the basin. This very moment, that engagement ring lay in the depths of one of Karen’s dresser drawers where she’d stowed it the night Logan gave it to her, nowhere near attaining its respectable place on Karen’s hand.
“Everything all right?” Mama peered up at him.
Logan shook himself back to the present. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”
Mama patted his arm. “Come to the table, dear. Supper is ready.”
He moved to take his chair, trying his best not to notice Karen’s furrowed brow as she studied his face. Mama’s question must have clued her in that yes, there was something terribly wrong. And he had no way to fix it. He offered her one skittish glance and closed his eyes. “Let’s pray.”
Karen reached to hold his hand below the tablecloth’s hem. This practice, developed over the past three days, brought him assurance of a beautiful future. Tonight, it only made his voice shake until he stuttered his way through the entire prayer.
When he finally spoke “amen,” Karen didn’t release his hand. Her concern warmed him beginning in his fingers intertwined with hers. The warmth spread up his arm and across his chest. If Karen would just keep her grasp, he might find enough comfort to believe their world wasn’t on the brink of falling apart.
On previous evenings, he’d discovered he didn’t need his right hand for polishing off a meal anyway. Not unless the food on his plate required the use of his knife. The meatloaf Mama served tonight made the perfect one-handed kind of meal. Karen let go when she rose from the table to help Mama serve the dessert.
He looked into her eyes as if to say, “I need to talk to you.”
Karen gave him a faint nod.
***
“You were stuttering again. What’s wrong?” Karen faced Logan in the milk parlor. This was the first time since his proposal he’d spent any time alone with her. Karen’s heart pounded. Something must be very wrong for Logan to bend his self-imposed rules and request a private chat.
He raked shaky fingers through his hair and then grasped her shoulders. “My talk with Pete didn’t go as planned.”
A stinging sensation filled her stomach. She swallowed.
Logan looked into her eyes. “They don’t have room for you to live with them.”
“But they have two bedrooms.”
Logan nodded. A dim smile crossed his face. “The empty room is in the process of getting remodeled. Pete and Anna are expecting a baby this summer.”
If Logan had thrown an entire bucket of ice water on her, Karen couldn’t have been more shocked. “You mean …”
Logan nodded again. A solemn expression claimed his features. “You’ll need to stay here.”
“That isn’t a good idea.” Karen clutched her skirt. “I can’t live with you, Logan. Not with the way I feel about you. It’s ... it’s ... improper.”
Logan grasped the back of his neck. “I feel the same way, but I don’t know what else to do.”
“Maybe I can move in with one of the neighbors.”
“That won’t work. You ended up here with us because we’re the only ones with any room.”
Karen scanned the shelves of shiny pails, the milk cans in the corner, and the pile of straw under the window. If only the simple surroundings could give her a clue.
“Hey, wait a minute. Who said you needed to be the one to leave? I’m the one to blame here. I should move out.”
Karen shook her head. “But what about the chores and all of the milking? You can’t leave the farm.”
“No. Not the farm. Just the house.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The barn, sweetheart. I could move out here.”
“You’d live in the barn? In January?” Logan had mentioned to her the night he proposed that he was crazy in love with her. This new scheme actually proved that he was just crazy.
A smile crept over his face. Long and slow, like when he’d told her about his trip to the Oswell City jewelry store to purchase her ring. “I’ve got it all worked out. I can move the stove out of here and put it in the lean-to.”
Logan turned the wick up on the glowing lantern. “Come here.” He led the way into the adjacent barn and stopped before a little door near the ladder to the haymow. He tugged on the door. It scraped the rocky barn floor.
Karen stepped into the tiny room. A cupboard of sorts filled one side. Starlight sparkled overhead. “Logan.”
He must have caught the disappointment in her voice because he laid his hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be fine. I’ll move a cot in from the attic. A few new shingles to the roof and it’ll be as cozy as the parlor reading by firelight.”
Nothing could be as cozy as that. Logan did make a point, though. “Will you do your studying out here?”
Logan looked around. “No room for my desk. I’ll try to get more of it done during the day while you are at school. Then I’ll come out here after supper to stay.”
Karen slumped. She’d miss his company on those long winter evenings reading books from his collection in the glow of the parlor fireplace. “You’ll freeze.”
Logan sucked in a breath. “I’ll make it work.”
Her eyes misted. Logan was a man well acquainted with sacrifice. He made another one, this time for her. “I’ll bring you some extra blankets.”
Logan nodded. “Uh, Karen. Let’s hold off on telling Mama and Tillie right now.”
“How are we going to do that? You know your mother will ask questions when you drag a cot out of the attic and quit sleeping in your room.”
“I know. But I want to wait for the right time to tell her about our engagement. Like both of us, my mother is concerned about decorum. She’s also still adjusting to life without Dad. I don’t want to cause her alarm with the news of any big changes such as my getting married.”
“When do you plan to tell her?”
“I don’t know. But not yet.”
“How do you plan to explain your move to the barn in the middle of winter?”
Logan pointed at an occupied stanchion. “See that cow? She’s been sick and in need of some extra attention. I’ll tell Mama that I’ve moved to the barn to keep an eye on her.”
Karen peered at him. His story contained some serious holes, just like the roof overhead.
“It’s the truth.” Logan’s brow raised in a challenge to defy him.
“Would you move to the barn anyway, even if you hadn’t talked with Pete?”
Logan’s mouth scrunched to one side of his face. “That’s a fair question. Maybe not to sleep, but I’ll probably end up putting in some late nights.”
Karen followed Logan from the lean-to. His yank on the door to close it rattled the barn wall enough to make the rickety lean-to roof creak. She could only imagine what other repairs were required for him to make the tiny apartment livable.
 

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