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Fallen Leaf

By Julie B Cosgrove

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Jessica Warren’s legs wouldn’t move.
She stood on the Texas stone patio overlooking the swimming pool at the Matteson’ family home. Shimmering images of photographed memories, glued to giant golden leaves, dangled from the sprawling oak limbs in the late spring breeze. People of all ages mingled around the edge of the aquatic surface greeting each other. The hum of their conversations held undertones of joy.
Their smiling faces didn’t warm her heart as she’d expected. The happy reunion rammed her in the gut, blocking her breath as it tried to escape her lungs. Her brain couldn’t catch up.
Jealousy, that long dormant childhood ogre, suddenly wakened inside her. It barreled down on her like a Blue Norther sweeping over the Texas plains—swift, blustery, and dark. Where had it come from?
No way could she meet Bailey’s long-lost relatives right now, despite their do-anything-for-each-other friendship. She swallowed to stifle the roar in her ears as her eyes darted from face to face. Even though she’d never met any of them, she recognized each one. So why did these emotions arise in her now, and not at anytime during the months she’d helped Bailey locate each of these people on the Matteson family tree?
I can’t do it. I can’t. I’ll crumble.
But she had to do it. For Bailey, who now waved to her with a huge dazzling grin. She danced up the steps and laced her arm though Jessica’s elbow. “Oh, you are right on time. Shannon is here, too. Come meet everyone. Isn’t this amazing?”
Jessica forced herself to breathe. Seeing the sparkle in Bailey’s eyes pulled her forward. She kept the tempest from erupting as Bailey dragged her around to meet the cousins, but the rumbles of angst continues to billow inside her.
“Hey. There you two are.” Shannon sauntered over to them sporting a new closely crimped afro. I see the Hotty Detective is here, too.”
Jessica saw Bailey’s cheeks redden. “Hush, he’ll hear you.”
Shannon chuckled. “Aw, so you do think he’s yummy. I knew it.”
“Sure he is, but we are friends. Period. Always have been.” She huffed a long breath through her nose.
“Uh, huh. If you say so. But he sure cam running every time you called.”
“You mean every time you called.”
Jessica smiled for the first time that evening. Her two friends liked to razz each other, but they always ended in hugs.
“Well, you kept getting in danger as you pulled all of those skeletons from your family closet. But hey, look around.” She swept her arms. “It turned out good, girl. Everyone is here.”
“Almost.” Bailey’s eyes cast down to the carpet grass.
Chase came up behind them. “Bailey.”
She pivoted on her stiletto sandals. “Yes?”
His head pointed to the left. Around the corner came her long lost aunt. It had been fifty years since her mother or uncles had seen her.
Baileys hands went to her mouth as she watched her mother rush over, and in a rare display of emotion, hug her sister.
Shannon let out a hallelujah.
But Jessica’s smile faded. The earlier myriad of emotions jolted her again. They pushed to the surface of her thoughts with such force she feared they would explode from her in buckets of tears, harsh words, or worst, unbridled anger.
Yes. Good heavens, that’s it. Jessica’s mind identified the forbidden feeling. She felt angry! And she rarely did. Always the easy going one. Give it to God and don’t let the devil steal the joy type.
The rawness of its force bamboozled her.
Jessica knew she had to leave before she lost it in front of everyone. Without a word she turned and sprinted toward the front of the house, the driveway lamppost’s glow beckoning her like a lighthouse in a fog.
“Jess? Where are you going?”
Ignoring Bailey’s plea to come back, she rushed to her car, got in, and peeled out of the driveway.

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