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Hope

By Carol Cannon

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Nona walked out onto her back deck sipping her first cup of coffee from her favorite mug, which she’d bought as a souvenir last summer at the Braves game. It was 6:30 AM on a Tuesday morning—her favorite time and favorite day. Since she’d handed over a portion of her workload from her law practice to her partner, Nathan, she’d taken off every Tuesday. She called it “Nonaday.” She sat down on the swing that hung on her back deck where she could easily look out at the trees that surrounded her backyard. She’d always enjoyed watching the various behaviors of the wildlife in their natural environment. As she swung back and forth, enjoying the rich taste of her coffee, she noticed a radiantly ruby-red cardinal land on the bird feeder that hung from the limb of an old chestnut oak tree. He was soon joined by two other brightly colored birds. Nona watched as a small gray squirrel crept slowly down the tree to the ground below, hoping to feast on the sunflower seeds the birds dropped from their feeder.

Nona had always found a deep peace sitting in her swing early in the morning, but this morning, the troubles of the past few days were robbing her of that peace. She had been served with divorce papers from her husband, Bill. It’d shaken her to her very core when Deputy Snyder walked into her office last Friday to serve her with the papers. She had known that divorce was the most likely outcome of Bill’s affair with his much younger personal trainer, Amy, but she hadn’t expected Bill to serve her. As the injured party, it was only right that she should have been the one serving Bill with divorce papers.
After forty-two years of marriage, divorce was not how she’d imagined the end would come. Until a year ago, she had assumed their marriage would end when one of them passed away. She was ashamed to admit it, but sometimes during this past year the thought had crossed her mind that it would be nice if Bill would just go ahead and pass on now. She knew she should feel guilty for thinking such a horrible thought, but she couldn’t deny that it would make the whole process so much easier, at least for her. She’d never admitted such a wicked thought out loud to anyone—not even to her best friend in all the world, Layne.

As Nona continued to swing, she thought about the life she and Bill had shared before his affair. She’d been questioning whether she’d ever truly been in love with Bill. Had she loved him when they married, or was it a matter of convenience? Her mother and father had been persistent about her finding someone with whom she could share her life. After all, marriage was the accepted, as well as expected, path for a woman to take during the sixties and seventies—marriage followed by children. Nona had fallen right in with those expectations. Lately, she’d been wondering if it was love that had taken her to the altar to marry Bill or if it was the pressure put upon her to fulfill her projected role.

Nona went back into the kitchen to pour a second cup of coffee. She knew she should be getting ready for her weekly weight-loss group meeting with the Skinny Dippers, but couldn’t resist heading back outside. As she fell back into the rhythm of the swing, her mind was once again occupied with the events of the past year. It’d been a tough year all the way around.

When Bill left her for a younger woman, it had wrecked her whole world. First of all, the ending of her marriage made her feel like she had failed. Nona had known very few failures in her life. Failing at anything made her feel weak, and she despised any form of weakness. Also, without Bill in her life, she was feeling lonely—a sensation she’d never experienced before.

She shook her head as she recalled that a year ago she’d even contemplated moving away from Kerry to Atlanta, to live near her daughter, Grace. The idea had come to her in one of her more vulnerable moments. She’d convinced herself that if she moved away from Kerry, where she was known, to a place where no one knew her, she might escape the sense of inadequacy that was clinging to her. She had made herself believe that living near Grace would make her feel less lonely and less like a failure.

Nona had recognized the error of her belief through a series of near tragic events. First, her best friend’s husband, Mark Weaver, had been in an accident that nearly cost him his life. Second, another of Nona’s friends was charged with Driving Under the Influence, which had caused the accident that left Mark in a coma, hovering between life and death. Third, Nona had to trust her instincts and her skills as a lawyer to save her friend from prison, and help to bring the healing of forgiveness to two families that were important to her.

She smiled now as she thought about Mark. He had recovered much faster than the doctors had predicted and was almost back to his normal self. She was thankful she had decided to stay where she was in her beautiful home, and continue practicing law. It would have been one of the biggest mistakes of her life if she had left Kerry. Through the events of the past year, she had come to recognize how precious her friendship with Layne, Dixie, and Betty Jo were to her. They were her family now, and with their love and support she would never feel lonely again.

She looked at her phone to check the time. If she didn’t get off the swing and head upstairs to get ready for Skinny Dippers right now, she would never make it on time. She carried her half empty mug of cold coffee into the kitchen and set it down in the sink on top of the other dirty dishes from the week. She rushed up the stairs to her bedroom to shower and dress.


****


Even though Nona had hurried through two yellow caution lights, and only paused slightly at two intersections where she was supposed to come to a full stop while trying to make it to the Skinny Dippers meeting on time, she was late. Everyone had already weighed in and the leader was giving another one of her motivating talks when Nona came rushing into the room. When she accidentally let the door slam behind her, every eye turned her way. The leader paused. Nona gave an apologetic smile as she maneuvered through the maze of chairs to take the seat Layne had saved for her. She sat down as quietly as she could.

“Where have you been? I was beginning to get worried,” Layne whispered.
Nona sighed, “It’s just one of those days when I couldn’t make myself leave my back deck.”

Layne gave her an understanding smile as she turned to listen to the last of the talk.

When the meeting was over, Nona was allowed to step up on the scales so that her weight for the week could be recorded. She had lost one whole pound. She couldn’t imagine how, when the only activity she had done all week was worry. She hurried down the back stairs to join her friends in the Dream Bean Coffee Shop.

“Well, if it isn’t the late Nona Foxx!” Dixie teased.

“What can I say? I just couldn’t pull myself away from being outside on this beautiful day,” Nona said, as she sat down with her friends.

Dixie, Layne, and Betty Jo were Nona’s best friends. Together, they had joined the Skinny Dippers over five years ago, when they had all decided they were going to get in shape. They had let their gym membership expire years ago, but they had stuck with the Skinny Dippers. The main attraction for the four was where the meetings were held—above the Dream Bean Coffee Shop, which had the best homemade blueberry muffins and chocolate donuts in the South. They would weigh-in and then head downstairs for a sweet treat. If they ever changed the location for the Skinny Dippers meetings, the four of them could not say for sure that they would continue with the group.

After they gave their standard order to the waitress, Dixie looked over at Layne. “I saw Mark yesterday at the hardware store. He looks like he’s getting around pretty good without that leg brace.”

“He is!” Layne said excitedly. It had been almost a year since Mark had nearly died in a wreck that had almost destroyed their lives. He had spent days in a coma and months in rehab after coming out of the coma. He was a walking and talking miracle. “I’ll tell you the truth, we are all glad that he is rid of that heavy, bulky thing. He complained about that brace every day. It was just so uncomfortable.”

Betty Jo reached across the table to take Layne’s hand. “I’m just so sorry he had to go through all of that.” It had been Betty Jo’s husband, Don, who had hit Mark’s truck on that awful day.

Layne put her hand on top of Betty Jo’s as she smiled at her. “I know you are, Betty Jo. It’s all behind us now and everything is looking up. The doctor told Mark that he can start back to work next Monday, and let me assure y’all, that’s not a day too soon for both of us.”

They all laughed as the waitress placed their order on the table. They quietly settled into enjoying their food.

Nona hadn’t told anyone about Bill serving her with divorce papers. She’d needed to come to terms with it before she could talk to anyone else. She wasn’t exactly heartbroken that he wanted out of the marriage, but it wasn’t happiness she felt either. She had grown up in an era when society didn’t accept divorce. She knew things had changed, but she couldn’t get rid of that feeling of being a disappointment to her friends and family.

Nona cleared her throat. All eyes looked at her expectantly.

“Well, y’all, he really did it. Bill served me with divorce papers at my office on Friday,” Nona blurted out, as she took a drink of her coffee.
“Oh, Nona,” Layne said sympathetically. Although they all knew it was coming sometime, she thought it was callous of him to serve the papers at her office. “I’m so sorry.” She took Nona’s hand and squeezed it.

“I don’t know what to say, Nona,” Dixie added. “That’s not like the Bill Harris I thought I knew.”

“Well, he’s not, Dixie,” Nona said in a voice dripping with sarcasm. “He’s a ‘changed man’ since falling in love with Amy. He told me so himself.”

“Changed, huh?” Betty Jo said. “Sounds more like damaged.” They all laughed at her statement.

“I need to do more of that,” Nona said, when she regained control of herself. “It seems like a long time since I’ve laughed out loud.”

“I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a rough time, Nona,” Layne said. “You know we’re here for you whenever you need us.”

Nona looked at Layne, Dixie, and Betty Jo. “I know you are. I can’t even begin to tell y’all how extremely grateful I am for your friendship and support. I thank God each and every day for y’all.”

They were all silent for a moment as they each considered how important their friendship had become to each of them.


****


Nona was ready to get home. She wanted to put on her comfy yoga pants and her well-worn Merritt Atlantic College sweatshirt. She thought she might just spend the rest of her day in front of the TV, watching old movies. As she pulled into her pecan tree-lined driveway, she was thinking of what old movies she really wanted to watch again—happy or sad? She abruptly stopped her car when she noticed that two people were sitting on her porch, in her newly repaired rocking chairs. They seemed to be right at home there. Both were waving at her as if she were their long-lost friend who had come for a visit. As she got closer, she realized who they were, and Nona didn’t want to see either one of them. She made note of the luxury car parked to the side of her carport—Bill’s new graphite Mercedes Benz E350 Sport Sedan. She wished she could put her car in reverse to leave the scene. Bill had brought that woman, who had wrecked their marriage, to HER home!

She drove up under her carport, trying to give herself some time to compose her thoughts and feelings. The last thing she wanted was for either one of them to think that they had the power to upset her. She plastered a big smile on her face as she opened her car door. Both Bill and Amy left the porch, hurrying down to greet her.

“Hey, Nona,” Bill said, in a rather pleasant voice. “We were just in the neighborhood and thought we’d stop by to take a look at the house.”
Nona just stared at Bill. Had he dyed his distinguished gray hair blond, and did he suddenly have deep green eyes instead of the dull hazel eyes he had been born with? That’s why she had trouble recognizing the people waving to her from the porch. They were strangers to her. After getting over the shock of his changed appearance, her mind registered what he had just said.
“Why?” she asked defiantly.

Bill let out a small, nervous laugh and looked over at Amy. “Well, because Amy has never seen the inside of the house.”

“And, why does she need to see the inside of MY house?” Nona spoke each word slowly and precisely.

Bill gave that stupid little laugh again as he took Amy’s hand. “Well, Amy would like to see the house where she’ll be living.”

Nona felt as if she had just been gut punched, as anger spread through her. Looking directly at Bill, she said, “What on God’s green Earth are you talking about, William Robert Harris?”

Nona could see that Bill was the one who was getting upset now. His face was turning red. It always turned red when he was angry. “Amy wants to see the house, so she can see what changes need to be made when we move in, Nona.”
The full meaning of what Bill had just announced hit Nona between the eyes. “Over my dead body will she EVER move into my house.” With that said, Nona turned away from them and started walking to the door.

“This is my house, Bill. You’re the one who chose to move out and leave it behind. I’m the one who chose to stay.” She turned around to look at both Bill and Amy. “You can both get off my property right now.

Bill stepped forward. “This was my family’s house, Nona. You’re the one who needs to leave.”

Nona stomped over to confront Bill. “This may have been your family’s house when we moved in, but I’m the one who made it into our home. It’s my home now, Bill, and I’m not leaving.” Having said that, she quickly turned away; ready to make a dramatic exit. Instead, in her haste to leave, she lost her footing when she tripped over the uneven pavement of the driveway. She tried, but failed, to regain her balance. She began falling forward and ended up flat on her face.

Nona was mortified as both Bill and Amy came hurrying over to help her up. She stood as quickly as she could, despite the pain and embarrassment she was feeling. The last thing she wanted was help or pity from either of them. She continued up the side steps to her house. Unlocking the door, she turned to look at both of them as they stood there open-mouthed, staring after her, and said in a controlled voice, “This is my house.” She slammed the door behind her as she walked into her house.

****


Nona limped into the kitchen where she pulled out a kitchen chair and collapsed on to it. A small stream of blood was trickling down from her skinned knees. She reached over to the counter to grab the paper towel holder, tore off a section, and pressed it against her bleeding knees, stopping the flow. Both knees were stinging from where she had landed on them. In fact, it seemed like every muscle in her body was crying out in agony. She pulled herself up to check her reflection in the double oven door. Her usually neat hair was anything but neat. She had a small scratch on her nose and a huge scrape across her forehead. She couldn’t decide if she should laugh or cry. She sat back down and put her head in her hands.

Nona had never even considered the possibility that Bill would want their house. After telling her about his affair with Amy, he had promptly packed up his things and moved out. To her knowledge, he had never looked back. It seemed to Nona that those actions signaled a lack of interest in this house—the house he had shared with her. It was clear to Nona that Bill had made the decision to start a new life without taking along any baggage from his old life. She knew that this had been his family’s home place, but Bill had never seemed to feel any sentimental connection to the property. He’d encouraged Nona to make any changes to the house, without seeming to have any emotional attachment—until now.

Nona wanted to cry, not just from the pain of the humiliating fall, but also from Bill’s announcement, which had caught her off-guard. As she sat there, she tried to figure out what had made Bill become interested in living in the house he’d left behind almost a year ago. Suddenly, it all became clear to her. It wasn’t Bill’s idea to live in this house again. This was all Amy’s idea. Amy wanted this house—Nona’s house. She was the one pushing Bill to get it back from Nona. That’s why they were here today nosing around, invading her territory. They wanted to take this house away from her.

Even though Nona had considered selling this house and moving to Atlanta only a few months ago, it was her decision to make as to keep it or sell it, not Bill’s, and certainly not Amy’s. Once she’d made up her mind to stay, she realized just how much comfort she found every day when she walked through the door to her home. She would fight with all her strength to keep Amy and Bill from ever living in her home.

Nona slowly trudged up the back stairs to her bedroom to nurse her wounds and change clothes. She treated the scrapes and the bruises that were now appearing on her face as best she could. She began to feel a little better after changing into her comfy clothes. It had been a rough day so far, and it was only two in the afternoon. Nona was beginning to feel sorry for herself. She hated that feeling of self-pity. She needed something to comfort her. She returned to the kitchen to make herself some green tea with lemon. Green tea was one of her comfort foods, if you consider tea a food. She then took her mug of tea into her sitting room, where she stretched out her long legs on her chase lounger. When she felt comfortable, she picked up the book she’d started last night.

After twenty minutes, she realized that she had been reading the same two pages without comprehending any of the words. This wasn’t working. Her mind was consumed with angry, ugly thoughts toward Bill. She had to talk this out with those who knew her and loved her. She needed the support of her friends—Layne, Dixie, and Betty Jo.

Nona reached out for her cell phone, which she’d placed on the end table next to her chair. She used the quick dial to call Layne. Nona was about to end the call when Layne answered. “Hey, Nona, what’s up?”

Nona could hear a child’s voice in the background. “Oh, you must have the kids. I’ll call back later. It’s nothing that important.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m not really busy. I just took Madison to the dentist. I’m putting her in her car seat right now to take her back to day care,” Layne said. “Sounds like you’re upset about something.” Madison was Layne’s two-year-old granddaughter. Her daughter, Blair, was a busy school teacher, and found it difficult, if not impossible, to get away from school to take her children to their appointments. Layne was more than happy to help out. Her mother had done the same thing for her when she’d been teaching and her children were small.

Nona hadn’t been aware that her voice was reflecting her emotions. She thought she had those under control. She blurted out, “Bill and Amy were here when I got home today.”

“You’re kidding me,” Layne paused, giving Nona her full attention.
Nona sighed, “I wish I were kidding. They were waiting for me on my front porch! I need to talk.”

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