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Shaken (Heart of a Warrior)

By Kariss Lynch

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PROLOGUE

Dust settled over Kaylan like a shroud. The ringing in her ears pulsed with the beat of her heart, and her face stung as though needles pricked her skin. She swiped at the stinging. Blood. She glanced around the small space. Chunks of cement cocooned her underneath the twin bed. She squinted, trying to remember.

A sliver of blue sky, the only thing not cracked or bleeding, peeked through a hole in the wall, discolored in the chalky air. Within seconds, dust enveloped the beacon. Rolling in a space no bigger than a sleeping bag, she winced as her shoulder scraped the bottom of her bed. She sucked in a breath and coughing seized her, cement dust choking the air more with each passing moment.

Where was Sarah Beth? A shriek rent the air outside the broken house, and Kaylan jerked, her head banging on her bed with a crack. Blood pulsed and her head throbbed as she massaged the spot where a knot bloomed.

Through the cracked walls of her makeshift cell, she searched for any sign of life beneath the chaos. A body lay twisted in the street, bloody, tattered green shorts and flip flops still in place. A woman bent over the tiny frame, clutching it to herself and crying. Kaylan’s stomach convulsed, and panic built in her gut like lava threatening to spill over a volcano.

“Sarah Beth? Oh, God, she needs to answer me.”

The floor beneath her began to buckle.

“Sarah Beth!”

It was happening again.


CHAPTER 1

On the eve of her biggest decision Kaylan Richards’s biggest regret walked back into her life. She should have been celebrating. She had crossed the stage and graduated from the University of Alabama just two hours earlier, December class of 2009. Her dreams stretched endlessly before her, beckoning her toward an unknown future. And now, he was back: the one who had turned his back on her. Pain from that time in her past returned with a dull ache.

Her oldest brother, David, walked into the kitchen, loosening his tie. “Mr. Fight-and-Flight just pulled up. Did you know he was coming?”

The blood drained from her face, and she slumped against the kitchen cabinet as her mom bustled around them. “Nick’s here? Now?”

Ever the faithful older brother, David’s mouth stretched in a tight line, and his hazel eyes raked her face. Her heart sank. He wasn’t joking.

David nodded. “Micah just went out to meet him. I guess he didn’t tell you. Sorry, sis.” He reached for a chip in the sea of goodies multiplying on the island counter. Their mom slapped his hand away as she added spinach dip to the mix.

Kaylan groaned. “Why today? I have too much on my plate to deal with this. What was Micah thinking?”
“He’s Micah’s best friend, and he doesn’t have any family.” David pulled her into a hug, crushing her graduation cap. “Be confident, Kayles. It was his loss, not yours.”

The problem with his statement flashed like an engine failure light on a dashboard. It had been her loss. Nick’s decision and her heartache.

Decisions…Nick’s had changed her life. What of the ones she had yet to make? Had yet to tell her family about? What about Haiti?

Her mom dusted her hands off and placed her arm around Kaylan’s shoulders, as tall as her daughter in her heels. “You okay, honey? You want me to ask him to leave? We can help him find a hotel.”

Kaylan popped a peanut into her mouth to hide her emotion. “I can handle it. I think.” Her heart took off at a gallop at the thought of facing Nick. “Excuse me for a minute?”

Kaylan dashed upstairs to her room, pulling off her cap and gown and heaping her graduation regalia on the bed. What had consumed and defined her for three and a half years had taken less than two hours to conclude, and all she had to show for it was a piece of paper and a robe she couldn’t wear again. She almost wished she and Sarah Beth had taken their time and graduated in May with the rest of the class. At least it would have given her one more semester to figure out what she really wanted to do with her life.

She ran her hands through the tassel, enjoying the silky, cool feel. Absent the cap and gown, a different weight settled on her shoulders, one of expectation and years of plans. She was being kicked out of the nest and told to fly with no further direction. Her first “adult” decisions loomed on the horizon, and already she was floundering. From now on, her choices would split between the familiar and the unknown.

Nick fit both of those categories.

Rushing to the window, she lifted the edge of the curtain. Nick lounged against a black Ford truck, his breath evident in the chilly December afternoon. What was he doing here? He’d made his choice. He’d chosen the road that took him as far away from her as possible. She lifted the curtain higher just as he looked up and caught her eye. She dropped the silky fabric like a hot plate, backing away a step. Those eyes, smoky blue like the ocean in a fog, pierced her like a bullet.

Physically, he hadn’t changed much: tall, muscled, blond, ever the California beach boy. Even in the chilly weather, she wouldn’t be surprised to find him in board shorts and flip-flops as if to will the weather to warmer days.

She threw open her closet door and chose her favorite red sweater. If she had to see Nick today, she might as well look her best.

###

Nick pushed off the truck to meet Micah, his wide grin infectious. Micah met him with a back-breaking hug. Together the two had weathered college at the University of Southern California, Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training, the death of Nick’s father, and a deployment in Afghanistan. Their bond was thicker than blood, and Nick considered Micah his brother in arms and in life.

“Hey, Bulldog, you sure this is all right? I don’t want to intrude.”

“Kaylan said it was fine.” Micah shrugged.

“Hmm.” Nick studied his friend. “In other words, you didn’t tell her so she couldn’t be upset about it.”

“Why do you have to be so perceptive? It gets really old.”

“Well, the team didn’t give me the name ‘Hawk’ because I have a beak and feathers.”

“And they don’t call me ‘Bulldog’ because I take things lying down or avoid confrontation.”

“They haven’t seen you with your sister. She has you wrapped around her finger.”

“I guess that makes two of us. Speaking of confrontation, you have a lot of humble pie to eat with Kaylan, my friend. But I have an idea…” A sly grin spread across Micah’s face.

“Oh, so I take it that I have your blessing with the sister I crushed by my stupidity?”

“Yeah, Hawk, about that. I know you’ve changed a lot over the last couple years. And you’re my best friend, but if you break her heart again, I swear I’ll break your neck.” He locked eyes with Nick, and Nick recognized Micah’s serious, combat mode that surfaced only when the situation deemed it necessary. Apparently this was such a situation, and Nick smothered a smile at the irony.

“Believe me, I have no intention of doing that again.”

“Well, she can’t do better than you. If you behave, I’ll even put in a good word for you.”

Nick held up his hands in mock surrender. “Lead the way, matchmaker.” Despite his calm demeanor, Nick’s heart raced. Would she forgive? Could she? Nick first met Kaylan when her family visited Micah for a couple days before BUD/S training began. She’d been a kid, barely out of high school, and his best friend’s baby sister. He hadn’t been far from his party days at USC and new in his faith, girls the last thing on his mind as he grew in his relationship with the Lord.

Nick powered through BUD/s, intent on finishing and becoming a warrior for his country. He’d never experienced pain and the desire to persevere as much as he did during Hell Week. His dad lived to see him complete that phase of training and then passed away. With no family left, Nick threw himself into conditioning his body and mind to become a SEAL in every sense of the word. After completing a year and a half of SEAL training, he finally took a mini-vacation before he was placed on a team. With no family and nowhere to go, he went home with Micah to spend a few weeks in Alabama. But he hadn’t counted on Kaylan Richards. She’d been twenty and finishing her second year of college at the University of Alabama. Beautiful, intelligent, and sweet, her innocence had been a breath of fresh air, a welcome change from the girls he had dated before coming to Christ.

He fell hard and fast. She was everything he wanted and never thought he could have. They’d spent a few weeks together on the lake, swimming, picnicking, and enjoying family game nights. Mornings with her had never been sweeter, talking about the Lord and their dreams.

Then he’d left to rejoin his SEAL team and experienced the most difficult season of his life as he began a year and a half of work up to his first deployment.. The realities of combat preparation broke his body, drained him mentally and emotionally, and left nothing for Kaylan. So he’d made the call. After months of long distance phone dates, he ended the relationship and pressed on to deployment. He couldn’t be a warrior for his country, couldn’t give his everything if she was constantly on his mind. He hadn’t seen her since. And today, the day of her graduation from college, was probably not the best time. But he was different, and he would not blow this again.

“Hey.” Micah slapped Nick’s back, taking him away from lingering sweet memories of that distant summer. “You ready for a whole lot of party food seasoned with a bunch of not-so-subtle questions?”
Nick groaned. “I’m slightly more worried about the look I’ll get from your sister when she sees me.”
Laughter filtered through the door as Micah opened it. “I’ll pave the way for you. But you’re on your own with the family.”

“Gee, thanks. I think I’d rather face the barrel of a gun right now.”

“Speaking of which, I better go hide those.” Micah’s laughter joined his family’s as Nick entered the lions’ den.

###

A knock sounded on her bedroom door as Kaylan finished retouching her makeup.

“Who is it?”

“Your favorite middle brother. Can I come in?”

Kaylan pulled the door open and faced Micah, hands on her hips and ready to breathe fire.

“That mad, huh?” Micah slipped past her into the room and closed the door. “Okay, now you can yell at me.”

Kaylan glared at her brother, refusing to let him off the hook. “You stabbed me in the back, Micah Matthew Richards. How could you bring Nick here today of all days? He’s already made it clear that I’m not worth his time.”

“Kaylan, that’s not true, and you know it. He just couldn’t deal with a relationship and a deployment. Neither one of us knew just how insane this lifestyle would be. And now our first deployment is over. He’s changed, Kaylan. A lot. He’s my best friend and a good guy. I’d never bring him if I thought he would hurt you again.”

“Don’t try to charm me with that grin of yours. It may work on other girls, but not on me. You’re my brother. You’re supposed to protect me.”

She put on an elaborate pout, but the betrayal truly stung. Since childhood, every time she had scraped her knee or a boy had broken her heart, Micah had picked her up and carried her away from it, his back between her and the world. This time he had left her wide open to take enemy fire with no protection.
He flipped one of her auburn curls, and she fought a smile. “Believe me, I will always have your back. And I know he hurt you, but I really think you should hear him out. Give him a little credit. You aren’t the same person anymore. Maybe he’s changed too.”

How could she be so frustrated with her brother, so wary of Nick, yet somehow drawn to him? Just not today. Any other time but today. Her emotions zigzagged and collided like cars on a racetrack.

“I just wish you had told me first. I need to…I have some…I have a huge decision today, and I wish I didn’t have to deal with Nick.”

Micah’s brown eyes bore into hers, and she was reminded of how stubborn he could be. She didn’t need him asking questions she wasn’t prepared to answer. “What kind of decisions, Kayles? And why haven’t I heard about this?”

“I haven’t said anything because I’m not totally sure, and I haven’t even talked to Mom and Dad yet.”

“Are we talking about a life-altering, anger-management-required decision? Or small, insignificant, won’t-be-a-big-deal kind of decision?”

She avoided his eyes. “Definitely life altering. I’m not entirely sure Mom and Dad will be supportive. Or you.”

“Kayles, what are you talking about?” He crossed his arms and took a step closer. That look could convince a lion to retreat mid roar.

“There you are.” Kaylan whirled away from Micah’s gaze as Seth’s russet hair and bulky linebacker frame filled the doorway. Kaylan never ceased to marvel that the youngest Richards child looked the most intimidating but owned the biggest heart of them all. “Are you done primping yet? I’m so hungry, and Mom’s making us wait for you. You always look great, so what’s the holdup?”

Kaylan was thankful for the interruption. Seth was her constant comic relief. “You’re always hungry, Seth.”

“Hey, I’m a growing boy. You don’t want me to get squashed like a bug on the football field next year, do you? These college guys are huge, and I won’t be a redshirt freshman anymore. I gotta pack on the pounds so I don’t break.”

She patted his stomach, knowing her brother worked far too hard to be anything but muscle. “All right, baby brother, let’s get you some food.”

“You know, people never believe you when you call me your baby brother. I outgrew you a long time ago. How tall are you? Maybe 5’8”? I’ve got almost nine inches on you.”

“You’re a giant. Why haven’t you been snacking?”

“Mom keeps slapping my hand away, and David and Dad are hovering around the food, guarding it like squirrels. I need to eat.”

Kaylan and Micah laughed at their brother’s whiny tone.

“I’m serious, Kayles. If you don’t come now, I’m going to throw you over my shoulder and carry you in there.”

She held her hands up in surrender and backed into the footboard of her bed as he advanced toward her. “Okay, okay. Let’s go feed you.”

Micah’s whispered tone startled her. “We’re not done, Kayles. I want to know what’s going on.”

It was hard to believe only hours before hats had danced through the air and cheers and camera flashes had bounced off the walls of the University of Alabama’s Coleman Coliseum like lightning bugs desperate to escape.

Was she really finished with college, ready to conquer the world? Was she ready to settle down and “get an adult job,” as Sarah Beth liked to say? Or should she take that famous “road less traveled,” one that could take her to who-knows-where?

“Y’all go ahead and tell Mom to let you snack. I’ll be there in a minute.”

After her brothers left, Kaylan slipped down the stairs and headed down the back hallway to her favorite spot in her parents’ lake house, the sunroom overlooking Lake Tuscaloosa. There she stood at the windows, but her mind was miles away from the view. Her options stretched endlessly to the horizon like railroad tracks splitting in two different directions. One was rife with parental expectations and a solid career track. It was a red carpet to her dreams of becoming a dietician—work at home, start her internship in August, get licensed. The other road stretched in a direction only God could ordain. Poverty-stricken Haiti called to her—families without money, food, and proper health care. It was miles away from normal and safe. So why had she even considered it? The idea had seemed like a great one when Sarah Beth first proposed it—volunteer in Haiti for six months, gaining some real-life experience in dealing with poverty and malnutrition. But now that it came time to pose the idea to her parents, the idea seemed crazy. Was Haiti the lesser road that would make the difference in her life?

She needed to call her best friend. Maybe Sarah Beth could help her face her parents and navigate this final decision that could determine her future.

She found Sarah Beth’s name in the list of her favorites and dialed. As the phone rang, her mind bounced from Haiti to Nick to graduation like the ball pinging off the rails in a pinball machine. Her head ached. Or was it her heart?

“Now what, Lord? Stay at home and work, or go to Haiti? And what do I do about Nick?”

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